Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura are comedians who are also married. They are the Mommies and they welcome you to join them. Dental updates! Dudes! Stories! Wiping!

Comedy isn't supposed to be sexy. Try telling that to this weeks guest. Chad Daniels isn't just one of the best comedians on the planet, he's extremely handsome and a master of Road Beave. Just ask the women of Asia, where Chad smashed for a week straight a few years back when he was filming I Need You To Kill, the documentary he appeared in with Tom and Pete Lee. 

This week we feature more deeply troubled people. Are they high? Not sure. Are they mentally stable? Doesn't appear so. Plus you the listener writes in about bum kisses, ball tugs, grandma's too old for the toilet and so much more. 

More psycho test questions too - wish Jada Pinkett would take it!

Direct download: YHM_CHAD_DANIELS.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:16pm EDT

Pull up those jeans and tighten your belt, this one is epic. 

We bring you our first unofficial round of On Drugs or Mentally Ill? This one comes from Starbucks and this lady really loses it. We couldn't feel more connected to the barista that (apparently) told her to get off her phone. This is a rare feat for us since normally Tommy is plotting barista harm. Don't worry, later we find a customer who is Tommy's soul mate - for all the wrong reasons. 

PLUS, the great Josh Potter joins us in studio to share some of the strangest and most offensive adult entertainment he could find and it's as hilarious as it is disturbing.

AND we have Felipe Esparza join us for a quality talk about comedy, life, drugs and a lot more. He's so hilarious and we already want him back. 

Check him, fools.

Direct download: YMH_469_FELIPE.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

Burps? Yup. Face farts? Uh-huh. Jizz into a cup and then sip your own? You know where you are. 

It's another episode of the award-winning, life-altering, always enlightening YMH. 

More evidence that not only is Christine a snitch, she's a hypocrite too!

Plus SNL alum Finesse Mitchell stops by to talk some ish and promote his new special, The Spirit Told Me To Tell You, coming to Showtime October 19.

Direct download: 468_FINESSE.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

Pull your jeans up over your head. This one is a smasher. It's one thing to pretend to be disabled. It's another to do it so effectively that three separate caretakers change your diaper and wash your beans. Should we condemn or celebrate this disturbed man?

Are Bert and Ernie gay? Uh, yeahhhh.

Plus we finally solve the FGTRTD mystery, we read your emails and above all else we are beyond thrilled to have Ethan and Hila Klein of H3 Podcast in studio with us. 

They are delightful, hilarious and sweet to no end. Learn how these two Ted's fell in love, rose to fame on YouTube and more. 

Try it out!

Direct download: YMH467_H3H3.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:53am EDT

We have found him! A guy who doesn't understand what face-farting is, so he needs a demo. OH, NOW HE GETS IT!

So many of you wrote in to express your disgust with Christina's lack of loyalty. A few of you agree with her, but there's snitches in every circle. 

Plus, could Tommy's parents have been any more weird about sex? No.

An actual medical doctor listens to our show and he gives us the undisputed truth about air escaping via vag and butt.

AND Andrew Santino, a fantastic comedian and actor joins us and we can say without question he is a hall of fame guest. 

Pull your jeans up, but don't touch your peepee. 

Direct download: YMH_466_SANTINO.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

Jada Pinkett Smith's body is just like Antartica and Iraq and Cleveland - it's really something!

Is Christina loyal? Seems like she might be the type to turn Tommy in just for a simple murder charge.

The great and hilarious Doug Mellard joins us in studio. His new album, Fart Safari 2: Fart Harder is not only the greatest title ever, it's also hilarious. 

We discuss Doug's awful tattoos, the first time Tom met him (after being attacked), emails from listeners and much more.

Pull em up!

Direct download: 465_Doug_Mellard.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

A lot of ladies out there want to eat the booty, what about you? 

Charles Schwab's daughter Brenda transitioned into a massive man, Brendan Schaub. We speak to him about his amazing life (and how much he looks like a man now). 

Plus we ALL laugh at a man who was electrocuted on live TV. Does he live? You'll have to listen to find out. 

The FGTRTD saga continues, we read your emails, play an AMAZING new prank call featuring Top Dog AND does President Obama listen to YMH?!?!

Direct download: YMH_464_Brendan.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

The jeans are back and ready to pull them up!

There's nothing like a fart prank on a dad. Dad's definitely have the best, angry reactions. 

PLUS, the gay porn writer/actor/directors that brought us the "my daddy taught me" classic lines are back with another and it's even better!

Speaking of farts, famed fired security guard, Paul Flart joins us for a quick chat AND Tina gets super uncomfortable with the "I'll make ya cum guy" and his new message. 

Your mothers also discuss Louis CK's "comeback," a horrific public phone call a grandmother took, sucking feet in public and more!

Direct download: YMH_463.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:34am EDT

Beep! Beep! Beep! No, there isn't a dump truck backing down the street, Bert Kreischer AKA Burnt Chrysler is back and his body makes that same noise whenever he takes a step. 

We are celebrating this enormous man's great, new hilarious Netflix special SECRET TIME which is available worldwide AUGUST 24. 

We discuss it all with Bert and have some laughs that are too good to describe. This one is an instant denim classic.

 

Special thanks to Tony Celano and Eric Freedman for the amazing animation and Jake Glazier for the perfect voice overs. 

Direct download: YMH_462_BERT.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

Nothing quite like a real dad losing his mind over a mediocre joke. You should know if you listen to this show that Tommy was raised by a hardcore dad boner who can barely finish a sentence if he's struck by his own "hilarious" thought. We may have found some competition for Top Dog this week.

PLUS, if you are a lady or a ZER do you want a man/zim to treat you like the perfect little princess that you are? Gross. And why do all those girls talk like that, Britttany?!?

We are joined in studio by the great Brad Williams a hilarious comic and friend of ours. We break down some hooker sales pitches, guess what FGT RTD means, read your emails and hear Brad's great stories about the lamest stuff he hears from people about being a little person. 

This one is a certified denim classic!

Direct download: Brad_williams_YMH_461.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

Done with white people? This guy is too. Not the brightest guy, but he's white so what can you expect?

Plus grief is real. The best way to process it is to dance and record it and share it with the world. Please share your grief dances with us!

Loud cell phone talkers - please stop or get shot (something we're working on). 

The great Matt Braunger returns to the show with a lot of hilarious insight. Check out Matt's new podcast, Advice From a Dip S**t with Matt Braunger.

 

Direct download: 460_Braunger.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

This episode was delayed due to Tom's demanding movie star lifestyle, but don't worry, it's HOME HERE NOW. 

Christina had a THEYBY. She and Tom go over the huge upside of raising their child in a gender neutral world. 

There's also a new cool guy who is just putting out to the world that he would like some sex and he chooses the most unflattering of camera angles to rope you in. 

AND Charo and Top Dog are on the show discussing everything from M**ijuana to Charo's amazing farts and so much more.

PLUS, your emails cover ANNOUNCING you have a big dong before you should it to a lover and whether or not your mommies fight before or during the show. 

Direct download: YMH_459.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 6:20pm EDT

This is one really loaded. Upon playback, it hit us. Could this episode be TOO good? Yes, but you deserve it just for hanging with us. 

This week we discuss a rapper who likes women who are almost not women - could he like men? Sure seems like it. 

We get on the phone with Daddy Long Neck who tells us the full story of his neck, his voice and a potential fight with Crazy Locs (probably not a good idea). 

Charo and Tom join us on a call to discuss the new Sicario movie among other things. 

THEN due to CP's pregnancy and the recording schedule we had to keep things going, we have a DENTAL UPDATE with Charo and Tom IN STUDIO. 

As if that isn't enough, the great and hilarious Nikki Glaser joins us in studio to discuss her blossoming radio career - she hosts You Up? on Sirius, she continues to travel the country performing stand up and she recently taped the CC Roast of Bruce Willis, where she no doubt burned him badly. 

 

Please support our sponsors: 

ShadyRays.com code: MOM

Stamps.com code: MOM

23andMe.com/mom

DollarShaveClub.com/mom

Quip.com/mom

Direct download: YMH_458_NIKKI.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

The Jeans are probably cuddling a new baby (non-gender specific) as you listen to this. Please know that God watches you when you watch porn and you'll probably have to answer to him. 

Also, do you think we should get fart mics for the studio we might be moving to? 

Pull up your jeans and listen what will be an all time classic. 

Direct download: YMH_457.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

The great Ari Shaffir AKA Airy Shaeffer returns to the motherland. It's always a treat when the most uncompromising podcaster and comic on earth decides to stop in. As usual, Ari doesn't hold back on anything. He's even transitioning (into a European comic). 

This one is full of laughs and HO-LEE S**T moments.

 

Please support our sponsors: 

NewYorker.com/mom

SquareSpace.com/mom

 

Direct download: 456_ARI_YMH.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:28am EDT

The great Kevin Nealon is in studio with absolutely amazing stories about his rise in the comedy world. 

From his days working the bar at The Improv to Carson and SNL, you will not want this one to end. 

Kevin is a natural fit with your mothers. Pull your jeans up for a real treat, meow. 

 

Direct download: YMH_Kevin_Nealon_455.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

It's a double date! Moshe and Natasha join us to discuss the Honeymoon Stand Up Special on Netflix and the mind-blowing reality of their fart situation. 

Plus, we learn a lot about Jews and how loud screams from people in pain are indeed FUNNY. 

 

please support our sponsors

 

Stamps.com code word: MOM

There's no reason not to join! Get yours at DollarShaveClub.com/MOM

Direct download: YMH_MOSHE_NATASHA.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

A new shirtless guy with an absolutely terrifying message for you!

AND, why does self imposed harm that results in a horrendous scream not elicit joy from Tommy?

Are the Water Battles of your moms in the news?

We have a prank call using the Try it Out guy and it just might be our favorite thing ever. 

AND there is a great possibility that the White House just released the funniest/scariest video of all time. 

Let us know what you think. 

Support comes from: 

Stamps.com code word: MOM

Brooklinen.com code word: MOM

PolicyGenius.com 

Direct download: YMH_453.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:10am EDT

Jean and Jean are together with no one else home on this one. 

We FINALLY found him - a super creepy guy that is beyond menacing and get this, he's wearing a shirt. It's a first here at YMH. 

Plus, the ladies are letting us know that they don't always have a man telling them to write in or say outrageous stuff to us - they do it themselves!

AND did Dr Drew call Tom "Bert?"

We have dental updates and more! 

Direct download: YMH_452_EDIT.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:58pm EDT

Daddy is finally here with mommies. 

Chris D'Elia joins us for pretty much non stop laughs. We already want him back. 

Plus, some lady says she really wants The D badly and can't find someone to give it to her. Can she be trusted? 

AND is it possible we found a less impressive, more infuriating musical "skill" than scatting? YES.

This is an instant classic. Pull your jeans up. 

Direct download: YMH_451_DELIA.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

You wanted it, we wanted it and now all of our wishes have come true. The magnificent Dr. Drew Pinksy is back in studio evaluating our clips and us as only he can do.

Will he agree that the lung infection singer has lung issues? Does he think the sissy of Freemont comes from a traumatic background? Will scat sex get you physically ill? And most importantly, is Dr. Drew going to join the 4 Stroke Gang?

All the answers you want are here!

 

Direct download: YMH_450_Dr_DREW.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

Need your sack shaved? There's a really nice guy who is willing to do it. He's pretty naked if you don't count the leather straps. Don't be weird about it - a LOT of straight guys get it done too. 

Plus, when you have to make a brown and the store you're in won't let you go, there's only one thing to do - yes, that is correct. 

Sam Tripoli joins us and so did so many talented FEMALE listeners who are just dying to TRY IT OUT!

 

Direct download: YMH_449_TRIPS.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

This one is just Jean and Jean. 

We find yet another man who is putting it out there for the world wide web with a plea that is sure to touch a woman's heart. 

We find a man who represents the Dark Siiiiiide and you may not be ready for it. 

Plus, is Hummus good to eat before a massage? 

How many days is too many without a shower? AND - we may have uncovered the secret to what the Try It Out guy is saying!

Four Stroke Life Shirts are now in store! Get one just to annoy Christina. Wear them to her shows!

Please support our sponsors: 

Brooklinen.com Code word - MOM

SaatvaMattress.com 

Direct download: YMH_448_FIXED.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

The Poop Pile is REAL. The question is, do you believe? Some people don't want the truth and some people are building their own piles. 

The great and wonderful Sarah Tiana joins us to discuss everything from meth to scatting like Kanye to whether or not an old guy saying nasty things is really that offensive. 

Sarah is hilarious and insightful as always. 

 

Please support our sponsors: 

Stamps.com Code: MOM

forhims.com/house

fabfitfun.com Code: YOURMOM

Direct download: YMH_Sarah_Tiana_447_EDIT.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:00am EDT

Tiger Mom Belly's House. It's finally happened. The great Bobby Lee & Khalyla join us for some silly good times and OMG revelations!

We got some meth smoking tips that might just change your life or at least how you spend time with your brother!

Plus we revisit some fun John McAfee clips and a lot more. 

Tommy laughs so hard he almost passes out. Jeans Up!

 

Please support our sponsors: 

Stamps.com code word MOM

Dollar Shave Club: There's no reason not to join! Get yours at DollarShaveClub.com/mom

Direct download: YMH_446_Bobby_Lee.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:59pm EDT