Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura are comedians who are also married. They are the Mommies and they welcome you to join them. Dental updates! Dudes! Stories! Wiping!

Everyone is welcome in Your Mom's House. It don't matter if you're black, brown, purple or Asian - oh or gay. We accept you all. In this episode we discuss the recent announcement of Jason Collins - the NBA player who just announced that he is gay. We also discuss the reactions to his announcement and their role in free speech, tolerance, and righteousness. Sound un-mommy like to you? Well, we are soon back to discussing meeting our heroes, white trash Italian food vs. uppity Italian food, Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut in the "where the dudes at?" genre. Gimme some mo (jeans)! 

Direct download: YMH_114.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

KaBOOM! It's Friday which means more jeans. We recap the latest episode of Gigolo's because Brace puts on a performance of a lifetime. So many amazing Bracisms, hope you can handle it. Which Gigolo would Christina hire??? Secrets revealed! THEN, it's the return of Top Dog! This is a call unlike many others - less brown, more bush! You will feel so much closer to Top Dog after this one. Also, did you know 7-11 has great coffee too!?!

Direct download: YMH_115.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

You think that just because you've had ribs and listened to salsa music with someone that you know them - but that isn't always the case. Charles Ramsey tells it like it is and that's why we can't get enough of him on YMH. While some are quick to point out he isn't the most media saavy man on the planet, we're here to tell you that is precisely why he is so awesome. He is SO awesome that we hope he comes to see Christina in Cleveland this week - lets make it happen. We went back to Snooshi and we ate WHATEVER WE WANTED, Buns tells you how dope T Dot was and it gets real jeansy when The D**K Detectives go after their next case - Matt Fulchiron! All that plus prostitutes and more! Cut holes into your denim!

Direct download: YMH_116.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW! Poetry comes in so many different forms. BAM BAM BAM BAM. See? That was some good stuff right there too. Your Mom's House is FULLY CHARGED once again with Zen like comedy guru and all around denim approved guy, Matt Fulchiron. We cover lyricists and those who aren't as good, being an a**hole to land a woman, pregnancy scares when you're dating are even SCARIER! A VERY uncomfortable D**K Detectives - we get to the bottom of this mystery! Sharing a condo is a nightmare, Charles Ramsey and more! 

Direct download: YMH_117.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

This episode is gooder than a bitch! Get those jeans ready. Tina and Tommy had opposite weeks. Tommy was in Austin while Tina was in Cleveland - coincidence? Maybe, but no. Which race do you trust the most? We share our thoughts and they're mostly DARK. When you sh*t on Los Angeles, you really disrespecting yourself, man. Don't hate on L.A. just cause you live somewhere awful. HUGE dental update from Tommy. Keep gully, ya'll. High and tight for life!

Direct download: YMH_118.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

This is what the Mommy Dome is all about - wearing jeans and having fun. A first timer has joined us who you are all sure to love, the very sweet, very funny, and eerily menacing, John Moore. Sure he's a dead ringer for Ariel Castro, but there's more to John that meets the eye. We cover the phenomenon that is lesbians watching gay, male porn - what? Yes! Is Maya Angelou the greatest human alive? The Dalai Lama? You decide. We also cover John's awesome writing career, singing on planes, and a groundbreaking Dental Update that will shake your teeth to your gums! The Mommies will find John love and hopefully he won't murder whoever he ends up with. 

Direct download: YMH_119.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Oh, Canada. Oh, Canada, you need more lyrics in your national anthem and PLEASE train your singers when they pipe out OUR national anthem or perhaps they will be decapitated on the ice? Maybe. Hit the high notes, sister! We recap a magical weekend in Portland and Seattle, a weekend that was all about that deep blue color that pumps thru our veins - denim. A special phone call with Joey Diaz unlike any other call you could ever imagine. Diaz, as always, inspires, bewilders, and makes us laugh until we nearly stroke out. BREAKING: We get the inside scoop on the fiasco that was Brendon Walsh's nearly-guest hosting The Tonight Show while Jay Leno was sick. All we can say is, Thank God Jay felt better before Walsh covered for him. 

Direct download: YMH_120.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Nothing makes our jeans tighter than when a coach verbally abuses his players or the media. Another great man allowed himself to be recorded spittin fire at his team and we love it! We revisit Kai The Hitchhiker who just months ago saved someone from being killed - now HE is wanted for murder. Big BROWN Talk update, plus Old people are just OLD not stupid. We also get Tina's cousin, Sari on the line and reviewing movies (HINT: She's not impressed), a listener Dental Update and more! Hopefully our new tailor can modify our jeans so they can be worn higher. 

Direct download: YMH_121.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Every mother deserves to squirt. We give YOU the tools to make a flood in your bed, go for it! We revisit the F***ing Camp child who uses BIG WORDS sometimes, like, well, the worst racial slurs - it's amazing. Tommy recaps an anxiety filled weekend with Top Dog and Charo and you get to hear a tease from The Top Dog and Charo Special - they play Tom or Black and it's an instant denim classic. Bert Kreischer is on the phone talking about his dad masturbating and how he gives it to his wife, Lee Ann. Mrs. Kreischer lets us know that Bert is a less than desireable lover, but he bought her a new car so she's staying until 2014. Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut military movie edition style and more! Pour your mother a drink!

Direct download: YMH_122.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Nothing goes in Tina's booty - Well, lets just say NOT MUCH! Hehehehehehehe! We got a Chuck Ramsey update, wussup McDonald's?! What is Richmond, Virginia? Southern? Eastern? Full of murder? We talk about Nazi's AND Slavery. Whoa, that's pretty serious stuff in the Mommy Dome. Don't worry we're soon listening to retarded kids singing. Is that for them or us? Theo's back plus Would You Rather and more!

Direct download: YMH_123.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Ian Bagg is now a U.S. citizen and we treat him accordingly. We discuss what's permissable to say as a comedian and whether comics should be held accountable for what they say on stage and the culture of today's clubs in general. Also, Indian people will rape you - in large numbers. Loud people on planes should be kicked off and fully investigated by our government, people who dress terribly have something in common with Michael Jordan and nothing in common Liberace - our HERO! Plus the Top Dog and Charo ep is now on sale! When you're Puerto Rican you're Puerto Rican

Direct download: YMH_124.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Remember when you were 10 and you prank called everyone in the phone book? Those were the best of times, but then you matured and realized, hey, that's not a nice thing and also they can now see my number. Well, we haven't grown up so get ready for childish calls about buttholes and black voices! Also, CALLING ALL MUSICAL JEANS! We need your support - send in your tunes and get them played on Your Mom's House. We have an update about the BONUS episode. Oh, iTunes why are you so difficult? Will Smith and Jaden Smith believe in patterns and mathematics and in being completely insufferable. Dental Updates, original music and more? MAAAAAAANNNNN!

Direct download: YMH_125.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Musical mommies are abundant! You sent in your tunes and we play some of them, but really, we have to admit that WE are the musical masters. Tina dropped "Animal Song" last time and this time Tommy brings the heat with "Butthole Song". Grammy's are A'callin'. Tight jeans are great, but not if they're low. You gotta pull em up! We're happy to announce that our bonus episode made it to iTunes and you made us #2! When you're Puerto Rican you're just Puerto Rican, especially if it's the Puerto Rican Day Parade! Ay Papi - Duro! The mommies are going on vacation thanks to Tina's pops, plus Candy Crush is DEE-LI-CIOUS. 7AM is a little early to flirt, ya'll!, plus we found a horrible woman who recorded herself being horrible. Keep it Jeansy!

Direct download: YMH_126.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Tommy was recently on a flight with GREG JENNINGS. Yes, that one. The former Packer and current Viking who knows how to catch and run with the ball, but most importantly always PUTS THE TEAM ON HIS BACK, DOE! We want a wine vacation. Who's with us? Tina covers her Top 10 Goth Jams - get ready to cry! Another NEW song drops from DYA-BEAT-USS and it's the bizness, kid. A very spicy Fill Her Up and more!

Direct download: YMH_127.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Matt Braunger is one of our tallest and most bestestest friends and we are more than smiling so hard that he's back, that our teeth might fall out of our heads. We talk about music, hip-hop lyrics, embracing what you like instead of saying what you hate! How about THAT? Yeah, we're adults. We talk weirdos at shows and ones that offer you their wives! HELLO! Matt talks about his recent trip to Korea and all the brown that followed. Matt reviews ANIMAL SONG and more. It's such a good episode you'll probably order new jeans online while you're listening. 

Direct download: YMH_128.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Mommies like when things smell good and we think you should join us in a world of wonderful spa smells to keep the bear inside calm and submissive. We prepare for diarrhea abroad. Is it time to just give in and expect it? A brown river will soon flow from us and we try to embrace it. Different people cope differently with stress - even your mommies. Both jeans open up about opening up and smokin trees, ya'll. What do you know about that life? Camping sucks. It's unanimous. Shake That Bear.

Direct download: YMH_129_NEW.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

What happens when a man that's been around sits down with you and just...starts talking? You open up in ways you never thought you would. This episode had some sort of plan before we started, but Greg Fitzsimmons AKA Fitzdog dropped a dime on us and we ended up being more vulnerable than ever before. This episode is your mommy's without their jeans - your naked mommies. Fitz really is hilarious and a fantastic guest/interviewer. This is one of the most engaging and interesting conversations we've ever had in the "Dome." Enjoy!

Direct download: YMH_130.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Sometimes when you say BIG WORDS people won't hire you any more, ya'll! We visit the Paula Deen debacle and encourage all of you to deny, deny, deny when asked if you say offensive words. Poor Paula even got dropped by Diabetes, ya'll - oh DYA BEETUS! Plus we investigate other celebs who have accidentally said the N-word but they were being recorded. Their careers may surprise you! The mommies also recap their week in the Dominican Republic that was a delight with the beach, the food, and the porno, porno, porno! There's brown talk and more! Get thinner jeans for these hot summer months. 

Direct download: YMH_131.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Mo "Mohan" Mandel also known as the Jewish Ghandi in the comedy world is our guest and he is 16 t*ts worth of fun! A prolific writer, Mandel tells us you can also be a successful writer if you REALLY want it, but if you REALLY want to be a great baseball player, well, that's too bad. Mo also tells us about his hilarious, Northern-California upbringing that included anal sex, anxiety, open relationship, and Mo's "indie rocker" faze. Mo also shares a great story about Jim Gaffigan throwing down in a comedy club - something we've all wanted to do (beat people, not tell a story about it). Dental Update, Julio Iglesias and more! Don't act like yo bootie fat if it isn't!!

Direct download: YMH_132.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Oh my my, what a treat do we have for you. Fantastic, funny, a true delight - Mrs. Catherine Reitman joins us in the Mommy Dome. An old comrade of Tom's, Catherine fits right in like she's been in 1000 times. We get into Downton Abbey and oh heavens my is it simply delightful to converse with someone who appreciates all of Mr. Fellowes work. We discuss mommyhood (real), conflict, childhood, passive aggressive/sarcastic parents - yeah, real interesting, kid. Catherine shares what it's like to grow up in a wildly succesful family, but not turn out to be a huge a**hole - what's the secret? Listen and find out! Lots of Hungarian heritage in this one - BAZMEG!! 

Direct download: YMH_133.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Ohhhh jeans, your jeans, how bright they are to have more jeans like mine! If you make it to 100 years of age chances are you'll wish you had some d**k or p***y, but will you have the courage to say that? One 100 year old lady made it clear that that's the only thing on her mind and it's glorious! Lucky for all of us the great TOP DOG joins us again and this may be his ALL-TIME greatest appearance. What begins as a discussion about public restrooms and which airports are the best to dump in soon becomes a discussion about the effects of war - and the thrill of killing the enemy. Top Dog talks about the bond formed from being in combat with one's fellow man and the joy of finding another man's head blown off. It's amazing to the 10th degree! No Loose Jeans Allowed!

Direct download: YMH_134.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Make Fitness! It's essential to a long life and having big arms. We talkin 22's, son! Whatchu know bout that? Tommy and Tina are working hard at being champs even though it sucks. We FINALLY resolve the butthole icecube debacle and it's pretty ramsted. Plus you can suck your momma. But we have even bigger news and that is that BRACE is back! Yeah, more Brace philosophy, more Brace juice and we address the question you've all been wanting to ask - DID BRACE TAKE "COOKIN IT" FROM THE MOMMY DOME?????? You'll just have to listen to find out. Suck your momma!!

Direct download: YMH_135.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Is Sum Ting Wong? Me no no? When news organizations air racially offensive names we're the ones that say, "Thank you. Can we have some more, please." Do you need mo' PWESSHAH? Also, if you don't crash planes then you don't get pranks like this pulled on you. Aunty FeeFee is back letting the lord speak thru her heart. Her pen hits the paper and some unoriginal song comes out of her mouth. A Very DEEP and gripping BROWN TALK that will leave you wiping for days (down, of course). NEW Real Talk and the mommies discuss possibly doing additional episodes in the near future. 

Direct download: YMH_136.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

Can someone fit their D**K AND Balls into a woman at once? It's something we explore at length in this very special Friday release episode. If you haven't yet figured it out this episode is very much NSFW or for those of you that listen on speakers in public places - this audio will definitely lead to you getting fired or losing friends/family. If every one knows that you're bald then when you wear a wig we all know that's not your hair, Jason Alexander. Pretty girls will always be annoying if you allow them to be. When you ignore the stupidity that oozes out of their mouths you're helping them become more interesting. This is the secret to life. 

Direct download: YMH_137.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT

The Mommy Dome is rarely at a loss for words, but one guest has the special skill to leave us near speechless and he's back. Yoshi Obayashi, the Japanese/Korean/Pornagrapher/Ho expert/Samurai is always up for sharing a story that is honest, in your face, and leave you begging for humanity to better itself. His 3rd visit is no disappointment as we cover his recent exploits at Comic Con, getting prostitutes south of the border, being a loner, Asian shame, and soooooo much more - like erotic optical illusions! Some Mexicans don't look Mexican, mommy!

Direct download: YMH_138.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EDT