Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura
Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura are comedians who are also married. They are the Mommies and they welcome you to join them. Dental updates! Dudes! Stories! Wiping!

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December 2016
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Syndication

We love our brothers and sisters to the North, but there's one lady in Parliament who clearly isn't on board with the show - she's anti F-A-R-T! Please keep heckling her.

You think you know Tom and Tina, but have you met Karen and Bobby? They're here unless they're drinking or smoking or having sex.
Plus an outrageous call with Top Dog and Charo and some amazing clips including one really cool lady who loves when guys spray their love on her (face).
This episode is LOADED.

Direct download: YMH_372.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

Would you marry your mom? Really. That's so cool, cause like, me too. Kiss her for real. 

The Mommies moved this week and with a lot of help came a lot of stranger dumps. So many. 

Plus a really massive, fat lady will let you pay to watch her be gross. Master of Accents, Pup Play and a lot more. As always, Bert is so fat and it's being celebrated all over the world. 

Direct download: YMH_371.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

We did it, We locked down the guy who will call you a C**T to your face. That's right, Dan Pena is on the show! 

So fun to talk to the master of cursing in business. Dan was as fun as you might imagine. 

Plus the Jeans are not only fresh off their Bannismurfurney where they got a Couples Massage (yuck), Tina also claims disrupted relaxing time with a F-A-R-T. 

AND, seems that President Camacho is actually going to run the free world. Interesting times ahead!

Many Masterful Accents in this one!

Direct download: YMH_370.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

Even babies know the truth - Bert IS fat, but also our dear friend Burnt Chrystals has a new special coming to Showtime called The Machine and he goes by the name Bert Kreischer in it. Plus Tommy and Tina watched the movie, Shark Bites - you might like but it has one BIG flaw (same as the Martian with Matt Damon). 

There's a really white DJ who really feels comfortable with BIG WORDS and all kinds of accents to master in this one. Who is the Water Champ? Now we can all be with the NEW Water Champ shirt! Get one for Christmas or just to show everyone who H2Flow is in your house. 

Keep those jeans up!

Direct download: YMH_369.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

NO Loose jeans allowed here. We find the ultimate dad boner who relights the fire that only Garth can put out. Plus, Tommy AKA Tomaso speaks eh, de Espanish on TV, we have Would You Rather, Perfect Smiles and MORE!

Direct download: YMH_368.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

This week on YMH, Tom and Christina take a look at Christina's ex-boyfriend who know works as an insane deck hand, a couple of fighting brothers who desperately want you to look at them, and go in depth on Tom's most recent physical

Direct download: YMH_367.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:25pm EST

This week, the mommies watch a bunch of public service announcements, some hilarious, some horrible. They also get a translation for the Persian voicemail, which kicks us off to a journey into Christina's childhood. Wipe down!

Direct download: YMH_366.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

This week, the mommies grab em by the p***y! Will Tina follow thru on the dog food challenge? Do radio rap songs make you cry? We have ANOTHER angry Persian voicemail. Jeans Up!

Direct download: YMH_365.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

This week, the mommies discover and fall in love with a new Dan Pena clip, get a translation for Christina's Persian voicemail lady, listen to old and new songs, play a round of 'Rate My Jeans,' and much much more!

Direct download: YMH_364.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

This week on YMH, Tom and Christina take a look at some great points about sleeping with your friends, try to pick a name for Tom's new stand-up tour, play another round of 'Horrible or Hilarious,' call Ryan "Sickle Cell" Sickler to figure out who coined the nickname, and much much more!

Direct download: YMH_363.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 10:38pm EST

This week, the mommies dive deep into the fetish of ball kicking, see what DJ Dad Mouth was up to in Des Moines, do another installment of Horrible or Hilarious, and much much more!

Direct download: YMH_362.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:19pm EST

This week the mommies learn how to "rip some skin," judge a mommy's denim, play Horrific or Hilarious, watch a recovered Top Dog call from a lost episode, and much much more!

Direct download: 361_redo.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

This week, the mommies find a VERY talented grandmother who works for a a certain kind of phone line, they welcome back one of the strongest performers in the adult industry, watch the trailer for Steven Seagal's new action movie where he doesn't move a lot, and much much more!

Direct download: YMH_360.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

On this week's episode, the mommies educate themselves on vaginal knitting, get some questions answered on special people's daily schedules, pick a name for their son just incase they get pregnant again, and much, much more!

Direct download: 359_FIXED.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

You should drink your pee. Especially if you have a cold or a fever or a stomach ache or you're tired. Pee is better than medicine. It's your own medicine and it's free (and tastes good). Also, stop being stupid. 

We tell stories about our old landlord, Jose. Plus a new game - Horrible or Hilarious? Will Tom like a psycho and someone's unfortunate circumstance or will he see it like a human?

Plus an incredible impromptu call with Top Dog where we read him street jokes and he laughs, well, harder than we've ever laughed at anything. It's amazing. 

Direct download: YMH_358_FULL.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:50pm EST

This week the mommies do a very important dental update as a recent article about the merits of flossing has surfaced. Christina learns what a "trap-p***y" is during an outing at the park with her family. Also, Percocet-master Gina from Boston is warmly welcomed to the mommy-dome.

Direct download: YMH_357_FULL_EDIT.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

This week the mommies find Christina's dad on Instagram having a dance-off in Ibiza, review some fan-made websites, discuss the order of sushi they couldn't beat, and learn how to become bad boys
Direct download: YMH_356.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:41pm EST

This is the type of thing denim was built for - the ultimate Momisode. If you're a HARD F'n CORE mommy you are in for a treat. Three of the most outrageous, hilarious and central people on this show are all in the episode and we had them IN studio.
Sit back, relax and let the people who shaped Tommy Jeans entertain you by just being themselves. Plus we have Fat updates and much more!

Direct download: YMH_355_FULL.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:16pm EST

Sometimes really scary moments, like blood dripping from your butt, can produce magical results, like Ari's farts. We have some for you.

Does Dani sing a song for us? Well you Daniacs are gonna find out! (and it might involve a little baby named Hitler)

Plus we have strictly friendly sports, a new dildo from Nick (AJ?) Hawk, and Doug Stanhope weighs in on the #FATBATTLE.

Direct download: YMH354_Audio.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:42am EST

We hope you're HAPPY, Rachel! Mummy knows and now so does everyone else!

Plus a Jamaican accent so thick the Master gets stumped?!?

Tommy's family is in town and the house has flipped over. Will the Mommy's survive?

An Asian guy from the South Pacific is still wanting a girlfriend, but with a new approach - intense dude energy. We have some advice.

Plus The Water Championship has been settled, but who is the ALONE CHAMPION? The debate begins.

Direct download: YMH353.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:48pm EST

The thing about having your balls shrink is ultimately, it's the best thing that can happen. It makes your salami look so much bigger and who doesn't want that.

Ze Zim Xir yim. Those are all preferred pronouns of severely mentally ill people, some of whom you may know. Make sure whenever you meet someone you open with, "Hey, what's your pronoun?"

Plus, did Tom lose a bet and get his thumbs burned by cigs? Is the poop pile real? We work on getting you ANSWERS.

AND #bertisfat is finally something you can own - get the new shirt and show the world you are on "TEAM TOM."

 
 

 

Direct download: YMH_352.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

You kind of have to agree, if you're gonna poop you might as well share it. Thankfully, a nice man in New York City thinks the same way.

Wanna hear a cool fart? You should say that and then fart. Just an idea from Tom that he thinks is really going to take off.

Plus, have you ever taken a walk with your family? Just a regular walk? Well this life-changing in the mind of Christina and her communist upbringing.

#BertIsFat goes to a whole new level and Tom and Christina aren't the ones who did it!

Plus, buying crack, dental updates and a whole lot more.

Direct download: YMH_351.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:59pm EST

If Water drinking had a Super Bowl, this episode would be it. Pick your sides and deal with the results cause after this one, there will only be ONE. The Water Gawd. 

If thrive to be the best is that like striving to be the best? What if you have 4 teeth? Can you still be the best? Now add 400 or so pounds. Yup, the best. 

We love coaches and mentors as much as anyone else, but when said mentor speaks directly and curses non stop, well then we fall in love. 

Daniel Pena is straight forward and doesn't worry about feelings. Gnaw mean? 

Plus, let's get to the bottom of Bart being fat. This episode has BOTH sides of the story. 

Direct download: YMH_350.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:16am EST

H2O and H2NO if you ask Tommy, the self-proclaimed "water champ." But Tina, she has other ideas up her sleeve, including a very sneaky plan that she reveals in this episode. 

PLUS, pig-calling, mastering accents, more fat Bert fun and then some, Ya feel us? 

To bring it home we have yet another Hall of Fame call from Top Dog and this time he weighs in on Double Pipe Classics. 

You can never have too much denim. 

Direct download: YMH_349.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:03am EST

If there's one thing about black women that are about to throw down in public, it's LET THEM SPEAK. Something really great and probably funny that you never could have thought of is gonna fly. 

We have a new message to the Fuhrer from Dani and this one involves food and emergency services at Sea!

How fat is Bert? Very. How aware is Bert that he is fat? We happen to think not enough. Look deep inside yourself and try to find a fun, effective way to let Bert know that he is fat and find out WHY he's that fat. 

We have Persian translations, IRISH AKA English translations, Would You Rather's and a WHOLE lot more! 

Direct download: 348_YMH.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

If you puke on TV but then keep doing your TV job, you are what we call a PROFESSIONAL. Shout out to SWEDEN!

Do you like rats? Do you have kids? Are you super lonely? Here's a tip: ditch the rats, keep the kids and someone worthwhile will come in to your life. It's just that rat "thing" that's keeping people away. 

Our Super Jew producer brought us a video about how to spot a Jew. But, like we said, he's a Jew. We don't know what he's up to but it feels really Jewey. 

The Master Of Accents is BACK! Will he finally be defeated by an inimitable cadence? 

Plus FAN MAIL, PATREON, and TINA JEANS is hitting the road again. Get those JEANS ON!!

Direct download: YMH_347.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

PATREON, I told you to put that down!

Also, sign up for Patreon, ya'll! You'll get extra bonus content, inside denim access, personal shout outs and more!

 

WOW! say it again! WOW! Open your mouth so the whole dog can fit in the bathtub!

Today we discover which gender we are (it's really changing at every moment). Plus Bert Is Fat and Why Is Bert So Fat really took off! We have all the fat comments. 

Dental Updates, dating inflatable animals, Joey Diaz being a SAVAGE and more!

NO LOOSE DENIM ALLOW

Direct download: YMH_346_NEW.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

Morning news is the best. It opens the doors to grown up jokes about "Salad Tossing" (with real salads!) PLUS DJ Dad Mouth gets to muck around and have some fun!

If you're gonna talk that ISH before you arm-wrestle, make sure you, you know, WIN. 

Unbelievably, the girl who was defending Hitler on YouTube was kicked off for HATE speech. Weird that YouTube doesn't know that Hitler watches YouTube all day. 

This episode is completely non-binary so please use proper pronouns. It's not a preference, it's a REQUIREMENT. 

Direct download: YMH_345.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:19am EST

Did Bunz touch the sacred spot with Tina only mere feet away? JEANS.

Which Braxton are you today? Is it the one that's DATING Birdman? WUUUUUT.

Tom's awesome jacket is way cooler than Tina's art teacher jacket. Have you seen it? No, seriously, have you?

The master of accents becomes even more masterful in this one. PLUS, was Hitler THAT bad? 

Would You Rather's, Fan Mail, Seagal, Butt hair and MORE!

Direct download: YMH_344.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

You see thing about pimpin, man. You want a happy ho. Happy ho's eat, sad ho's don't. If you want to keep your stable out there and earnin then keep your ho's happy. 

This is the only podcast that provides cool insight like that. Also, Top Dog did it again. Yup, you guessed it, his face meat hit the numbers on the phone when we spoke to him. Oh yeah, he sharted too. Great story.

All that and more. Just get your jeans on. 

Direct download: YMH_343.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:05am EST

Whoa those are some awfully BIG WORDS you said there. This week we have some incredible mentions of the BIGGEST of big words. Someone even said it to the Prez!

Plus a foreign accent that seems DOUBTFUL and a DENTAL UPDATE that will have you brushing extra hard tonight. 

Seems like Mozart was a mommy, 20,000 years ago when he was alive and that's just somethin you gotta Respek. 

Direct download: YMH_342.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:01am EST

Don't mess with Lincolnton, man! That's what Uncle Joey says. A lot of you say LinkedIn, but you know, La Craw, La Croix, feel me? 

When you listen to our show remember to RESPEK our name. Otherwise we'll be FINISHED and DONE with you. 

The mommy's really do their thang in this one and even talk to Tommy's Mommy about his new, important revelation. He's not only Poly and Bi...listen to find out what ELSE he, er, they is now. 

JEANS FOREVER.

Direct download: YMH_341.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:17am EST

Tommy and Tina went on a pegging adventure. Please take a look. Also, note that pegging doesn't involve another dude (BERT).

You want to hear/see something gross? You KNOW we've got you covered. There's a young dude who likes grandma's GROSSSSS. 

Plus there's a girl who is in to tasting the uh, splooge, of dudes from different ethnicities. GROSSSSSSER.

Tina tries to trick Tom into playing incriminating clips of verbal "slip ups." Will it backfire on Tina? Probably. 

And a NEW Gnawm Sayin King is proud to take his throne. Smell us?

Direct download: YMH_340.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:46am EST

We know the show is popular but even Rachel Maddow listens! Wow, and of course, Hey Hitler back at ya!

It's been a while so we gave Top Dog a call and this one not only did not disappoint - it was epic. Like Wipe Down Epic. 

This ep is loaded: Crazie Locs listens to a fan song, a NEW abusive pimp, La Croix responds, NEW vocal fry, and a bunch of Would You Rather's. 

This ep is the Jeans' Jeans. 

Direct download: YMH_339E.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:19am EST

Hello, F**K Boys! We are ready for you to do battle. On guard!

T Bunz went on local TV in Cleveland and called out Crazie Locs. We thought that would have been the biggest news of this episode, but it isn't because - BRACE YOURSELF -

CRAZIE LOCS finally speaks directly to us. 

Did that last sentence process? If it didn't read it again. 

Also, you know what I'm saying, you feel me, understand? And now SMELL ME? All in one clip from one person and he's the only one speaking. Amazing. 

Direct download: YMH_338.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 10:39pm EST

We'd like to dedicate this episode to all those days when you're feeling a little down, a little alone, a little like a d-bag that would dedicate an episode to someone. 

We got that Crazie Locs jam you know you want cause this time someone ELSE made it better. 

La Croix is French. Unless you are Tina jeans then you're all, "it's LA CROY." 

Plus we listen to what Tommy thought was Hungarian and ended up just being abusive!

This is the kind of episode that'll have you wondering aloud, Where's The C*m?

Direct download: YMH_337.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:56am EST

There's something about those jeans of yours. They're so...high and so...tight. They're PERFECT.

We bring the ultimate dad laugh to the table on this one. It rivals Top Dogs famous dad laugh, no seriously, it does. 

Plus we have Locs doin his thang and stuff like that and Tommy doin his thang back and stuff like that. Shout out to everyone all over the world. 

Do you know Bryan Silva? You will now. Maybe you can help FREE him. And then, you know what I'm sayin, we count some new you know what I'm sayins.

We learn about an evil sushi operation in NorCal and SO MUCH MORE.

Direct download: YMH_336.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:08am EST

Jeans up over your head! This one will have you screaming MOMMY! WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME?!?!

Tommy put it out there in a MAJOR challenge to Crazie Locs last week. This week we await Locs' response while diving into some of his other uh, interests. Brace yourself - it's terrifying. 

Also, do you eat the booty? Where do you eat it? How often?

Plus we think we have an alternate choice to Donald Trump. This is a guy with a lot to say and the only candidate with a Zombie plan. 

Do you want a pony?

Direct download: YMH_335.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:13am EST

Bruh! That was a deep fart. Cool that you got your little bro in on it. 

We got videos! If you're listening that's only half the battle. How often and how well do we make fun of those who are "LESS THAN"? Hopefully a lot. And this episode has no shortage. We have a CRAZIE LOC who Tommy challenges to a fight! Will he accept?

Plus we have that intel you've been looking for on KIM AHN. It's so full of adventure and is truly AMAZE. 

Seagal has a new turd, er, trailer, and it's mind-numbing how bad it is. Enjoy!

Direct download: YMH_334_FIXED.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

Sup, Whitefolks! It's diss pimpin', feel me? Tommy's Uncle breaks down the pimpin game for us with all kinds of NOT caucasian flavor!

PLUS - a poop soup success story! Should dudes wipe after Yellow?!?!

We have a wipegate breakthrough. Where will you stand after this episode!

Plus we are back with some AMAZE Kim Ahn audio and it's very NSFW - Glorious.

If THAT doesn't turn you on, we also have a man that wants to f**k a rollercoaster.

AND a NEW Would Your Rather that is sure to set a new (low) standard!

 

Direct download: YMH_333.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

You know what I'm sayin? Ya feel me? Gnaw Mean? 

Are these different expressions or the same thing? We DEBATE and there might be a new KING, Do you know what we're saying?

Plus Hitler might be real. As in, the real Fuhrer. Plus Dani goes blue, er, brown on this one and we have a new awesome song to accompany her. 

This is mighty fine cut of denim. Put it on. 

Direct download: YMH_332.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

Don't get it twisted, we might look, you know, DIFFERENT, but we are still hood as S**T and we will F**K yo ass up!

Nah, we be playin, jeans. But some people are NOT playing and thankfully they record their messages for us. 

Plus the mystery has been SOLVED. There's no more guessing when it comes to Hey, Hitler or Happy Birthday to, er, Nicholas. We have the indisputable results. They are disturbing, which is our favorite. 

Plus Tommy is ambushed by a SURPRISE psychological review of his artwork. Is he well? 

Never play games with Ghostface Killah or his goons. This audio should prove that to you. 

Direct download: YMH_331.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

Watch your mouth sweetheart! Unless you're 12 years old. Then go ahead and drop a C-Bomb!

The only thing better than an old person cursing is an unassuming child. 

Is Hey, Hitler picking up steam or slowing down? Unfortunately for the weak-hearted, it's becoming a movement! Plus the OG of HH has a birthday song she wants to share. Who does she sing it too? Let's have Christina break that one down!

Pastor Manning might have the doors of his beloved Hate-filled church close down. Does he have a parting message? Yes. Is it other-level insane? You betcha!

Dental updates, new songs and more! 

Direct download: YMH_330.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

And a good day to you, Hitler! Cheerio, Mate! Aw the Hi Hitler saga continues. Where will it go? Does it make sense? We have the answers. 

Mommy loves you and hopes that you love mommy too. Nothing like a funny clip with a sad backstory to get the show a rockin!

Plus we asked you if Hitler porn existed and you answered! The Fuhrer wouldn't be so happy if he saw what happened to his picture tho. 

When a megachurch pastor speaks in error we laugh. When he can't seem to fix it we laugh harder. 

This is all denim here. 

Direct download: YMH_329.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

Don't go for the hole! Just find the CLICK! Confused? Well, we have the full audio that makes it simple and easy. Remember, it's all about the click. 

Tommy had some surprising browns this episode. Really, they happened DURING the episode. What was the cause? Did Christina brown too?!?

Plus Ann Wolfe drops some serious fight knowledge in the Ann Wolfe way AND Will Steven Seagal be challenged as the most ridiculous martial artist by another silly man? Not even close, but we have some fun audio of Chuck Norris. 

Did you know Antonio Cromartie had a vasectomy? Did you know it didn't work? We have audio of his orgasm. 

Direct download: ymh_328.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

Hey Hitler! Hope all is well. Let us know what's up.

There's a new hilarious lady whose apartment has caught on fire. Sorry about the fire, lady. But super thankful a camera crew found you to talk about it. 

The mommies talk about crazy plastic surgeons, crazy Sean Penn, crazy edibles and whole lot more. 

Plus, Master Of Accents, Tom "The King of All Accents" Segura will blow your mind with his ability to mimic ANY accent!

This episode is 100% denim. 

Direct download: YMH_327.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

Jeans,

We are wanting to hear your best MOM calls. Let it rip, Mommy!

Plus, was that fart or the national anthem? 

Nothing is worse that a goofy porn actor. Where's the best fast food? Would you eat there for a month. Did you know that Tommy can do ANY foreign accent? 

It's all here. 

Direct download: YMH_326.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

The Main Mommy is back! Tina doesn't let a little thing like delivering a baby hold her back. She's in the Dome and talking about what's important: Farts, Big Words, Graphic Sex and Steven Seagal. Sometimes all together. 

This episode has everything including intel about a certain Super Bowl winning coach. You won't believe what we saw him do. 

Jeans up forever!

Direct download: YMH_325.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

This is our final gift to you in the year 2015, a visit from beloved guest, world prostitute chaser and medical lab rat, YOSHI!

As always, no written word can prepare or describe what Yoshi bring to the table. Put in your ear buds, crank the volume and enjoy this one. 

Thanks for a great 2015, MOMMIES!

Direct download: YMH_324.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

Merry Jeansmas!

Hope you all are snuggling and kissing and drinking cocoa by the fire. We have a baby jeans and will be doing all that, gurl. 

This episode has magic: enemas, OMG Maria, Top Dog, Kim Ahn breaking it down HARD CORE, Would You Rather's and a whole lot more. 

Please be safe and allow denim into your heart. 

Please support our sponsors - MeUndies.com/mom and BlueApron.com/mom

Direct download: YMH_323.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

Is Baby Jeans here?! You'll just have to listen to find out!

What happens when you get AIDS from someone and you see them on public transit? You gotta call them out, yo! 

RIP Greg Giraldo

Plus the KING has been in hiding for a while and now we have confirmation that he's BACK! 

And Tommy insists that his DJing will pay off in the future, I mean, listen to what Paris Hilton is doing. You get to decide if its good. 

Direct download: YMH_322.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

What a Jeanstastic episode! The FedEx controversy RAGES on! Tommy has some damning evidence that may turn Christina's pronunciation on it's head. Um, do we have an exclusive interview with Throatzilla aka Orally Gifted? Yes, yes jeans we do! Also important Steven Segal update. Fill her up and seal her shut! What a BIG DAY!

Direct download: YMH_321.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

Bond, Jeans Bond is the name or perhaps you're more familiar with Double 0 Denim as I'm known inside these walls. The mommies have a spectacular bonus clip of the new Bond movie and you are sure to love it. 

Plus is a white boy claiming to be a crip the real deal or is he frontin in a red hat?

We have the Farsi voicemails translated, the lamest dude ever in porn and a call from Tommy's Uncle Bill

You got that sauce, mane?

Direct download: YMH_320.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

Happy HatesGiving, MOMMY! As is tradition on this show we'll do our best to offend you for the holiday! 

Do you have an incurable neurological disorder? Is English not your first language? Do you not look like us? Do you live somewhere that isn't Los Angeles? Hopefully we hit you below the belt!

The Persian Lady who has left Tina countless messages about the desert and sharia laws has, you guessed it, left MORE messages. What the hell is she saying in Farsi?!?

We encourage you to EAT WHAT YOU WANT for Thanksgiving. Is turkey not your thing? Push back against the man and get a steak or a hot dog - whatever you desire, Mommy.

PLUS we have audio of TINA SNORING (LOUDLY), a crazy escort talks about her "job" AND a HUGE announcement that involves Tommy and one of the greatest rappers of ALL TIME. 

Direct download: YMH_319.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:23am EST

Yo Chuck! Yo, You got AIDS, YO! Aw, Damn, kid. Hope you got your Jimmy Hat.

Tommy's done with the road for 2016, but he brought Guess My Brown home from the Big City! Will Tina guess correctly?

Bunz has an idea for a new business to help support our growing family. If you need a nail trimming, please don't cut them! We're coming over. 

Plus fashion has never been Tommy's strong suit and he's apparently really owning that now. Jeans has something to say about Bunzies new apparel. 

And she rocked your world with last weeks Yellow/Brown/Yellow revelation. This week, Tina has a NEW insight into how browns and yellows sometimes mix. 

Direct download: YMH_318.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:22am EST

Christina guesses Tom's brown! And a surprise game! Dunkin' Doughnuts vs Krispy Kreme. What side are the mommies on? Rachel Dolezal and Tamar Braxton. Tina has new voicemails and texts on her phone. The joys of a new phone number. If you borrow $20 from Linda, you'd better pay her back ASAP! Is Shaq hanging with Chuck Woolery? The most annoying girl in social media and more! Enjoy mommies. 

Direct download: YMH_317_F.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

Are you mad at your Mommy? Well, let her know! DJ Dad Mouth is working on his mad beatz and skillz. Is there really a lady out there wanting to lick Tom's b-hole?  Turns out yes, yes there is. Christina is being challenged on her inventing the term "POS". Can she explain her way out of this one? Also, Mommy C raises a question that brings her to tears. Would You Rathers! Tom gives his insight into the new Matt Damon film. 

Direct download: YMH_316.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

If you’re feeling hungry we have just the thing for you - a very special PICNIC. Make sure you bring your appetite because this is the kind of picnic that lets you keep on eating!

 Did Christina come up with an expression that is very popular in our vernacular or has it been around for more than a decade? It’s time to break it down. Plus Tommy has seen Christina flirt for long enough with the mailman and the Whole Farts check out boy. Could he be getting to know a super market girl as more than a friend??!?!?

 Diego AKA Thursday Lane set the podcast world on fire, but some people are saying “Too Much!” What will YOU say when he marries a fart?

 Guess My Brown debuts and an NFL players has something to say about the Cincinnati Fart , you know what I’m saying?

Direct download: YMH_315.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

When you smell those jeans is when I feel the strongest. Those and of course grey sweatpants. 

We missed you and this episode is almost a day late, but we promise that it's worth it. Of course there's porn being played in various California Target stores, but of course the Mommies have a good plan on how this rascal can up his game. 

Plus more fun sex audio and rap songs that are simply delightful. 

But we know why you're here this week and quite simply, yes, we have Diego AKA Thursday Lane and people are eager to help him smell man butt for hours and hours. It's all in these Jeans. 

 

 

Direct download: YMH_314.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:41pm EST

Jeans Up! We got it all on this one and there's no way you are ready. Dumb hooker math? Yup! Greezy Chuck? Mm-HMM! Seagal nonsense? You know it!

What about something that might blow all of our minds and even some of our butts?

What about a gas man who really wants it, puts it out there and even TALKS to us about it?

Well, just press play because no description can do this episode justice. 

 

Direct download: YMH_313.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

Tommy trimmed his beard and in doing so lost 40 pounds! Was it all hair or does he have an incurable disease? He thinks he knows and Tina doesn't agree!

If you sweat at night you may want to get some blood work done today.

Nothing seems quite as ridiculous as a sports fan losing his mind - especially if it's not in YOUR sport. Luckily, we have one of those guys and he has a wonderful accent. We are masters of accents on this show and will prove it. 

We ALL know about King A** Ripper and his glorious skills - is someone ready to take the throne from him?!?! It appears that a PRINCE is near!

Plus we finally put Peter Caine to rest and we top if off with an OMG Maria call for the AGES! Do NOT Kiss her P***y!

Direct download: YMH_312.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

If you feel something in your shorts and it feels like you should go to the bathroom, you probably should. Thankfully, we have audio of someone who didn't. 

What about a Dad Jokes Only tour? Would you get tickets? Huh? C'mon, buddy! Multiple choice!! OKAY!!!

Should a wipe ALWAYS be clean? We debate as ONE OF US believes that a little something on there is fine. I mean, why use paper AT ALL?!?

Dental update: If you're old, be old. Teeth included. Veneers make you look INSANE. 

Plus a Peter Caine update - he isn't happy with any of us. Is it because we don't own a Raven?

Direct download: YMH_311.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

Drink Mountain Dew before bed! A riveting Dental Update from Tom - buckle up you will be shocked. Kamala Devi revelations (our favorite Poly-Bi couple). Safe Haven pooping locations. Christina is getting hit on by black guys now more than ever! Plus a special phone call with a YMH favorite - Peter Caine. Huge episode!

Direct download: YMH_310.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:37pm EST

Have you ever just done it in a parking lot on the pavement? Were you drunk? We are still Poly and Bi and loving it! Will Tom appreciate Christina's farts this week? The Cincy fart lives on. Tom insists that Christina is flirting with both their post man and a local Whole Foods Employee. A very sad dental update. Lots of mommy mail and a call from Top Dog!! Is it heaven on earth? No, it's just  Your Mom's House!

Direct download: ymh309.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

Do you jerk your meats in public? Only if you work late night at a gas station. But don't do it if you are surrounded by glass. John Cranley update - when will he listen to our demands for a Cincinnatti fart memorial?? Steven Segal revelations, intense fart conversations and football. Have you implemented a thumbs up system in your house yet? I hope so!

 

 

Direct download: YMH_308.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 10:31pm EST

Oh Jeans, Jeans, Jeans - that's not an echo - don't worry, we fixed that! SORRY Sorry sorry.

We have a new system in place for bodily noises and acknowledging them - one thumb up top and two for down below. Please join and use our system in your lives.

A few weeks back Christina broke down barriers with what has been given the name, The Cincinnati Fart. Please help immortilize her accomplishment by petitioning the Queen City to memorialize this feat. Info on how in the episode. 

We know a lot of people Style Suck us, but what a certain morning radio recently did just let us know that the Mom's are the talk of the town, Na mean?

Lots of good audio in this one. (YEAH!)

Direct download: YMH_307.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

Do you really think American politics are a joke well then maybe you should consider the platform that Deez Nuts is selling. It covers smells, hair and whatever that thing is that what's his name gave you yesterday.

Plus, if you thought the Smith children were unbearable before you have no idea the new nonense they are spewing (yeah!). 

What are the whore giveaways - Voice? Piercings? What about her feet?

And dude, listen, you can't pull off that gear if you're not in the Rock 'N Roll Hall Of Fame. Let it go. 

Chuck Woolery has a NEW endorsement. Is it GREEZY? Not really, but it sure does cost a lot. Can you imagine being married to Steven Seagal. If you can you probably just passed out.

 

We don't wear loose jeans in this one.

Direct download: YMH_306_NE.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:27pm EST

Have you ever wanted a man goo shampoo? Well now you can hear what that sounds like!

DJ Poly-Bi scratches some cool new jams. The jeans discuss car farts, a new movie pitch, relatives sending naked baby pics and tragic news about King Ass Ripper - WARNING - this will make your jeans low and loose.

It's ALL HERE! Pull em up! Here we go. 

 

Direct download: YMH_305.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:30am EST

JEANS ARE ON AGAIN!

What's better than a news lady screaming cause of an animal bumping her over? Listening to it on a loop of course!

Tommy had a blast in Seattle thanks to Mom's like you. Plus we have a new favorite song, know what I'm sayin? Hell to the naw naw naw.

A new movie idea just came to T Bunz, Will ChristJeansa like it? Hope So!

The moms really meow down on this one, ENJOY!

Direct download: YMH_304.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:30am EST

Oh Meowmy, we got sidetracked by life this week, but we still wear them high for you. 

In this episode you get to wear your classic jeans and find the origins of Foreign Accent Syndrome. Have you heard your voice? It doesn't sound the way it used to.

PLUS we include the LIVE from MOMTREAL YMH at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival with a BANGIN audience.

We talk about the great (angry) dog trainer, Peter Caine, French curse words, Top Dog's REAL murder story and Christina's dad and how good he must be at lovin the ladies. 

There's a FILL HER UP, Would You Rather and MORE! 

 

Nique ta mere!

Direct download: YMH_303.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 4:37pm EST

Does it turn you on when you think of your spouse being filled with the love mustard of another man? We have the place for you.

Our new poly, bi lifestyle isn't just for us. We want to share it with you and fluid bond with you. 

SURPRISE - we have an improptu Top Dog call and it does NOT disappoint!

Tommy's workout crushed him and he's seeking motivation.

Plus we explore what is Amaze and that is the wonder of Dennis Rodman in a new documentary that chronicles his trip to North Korea. 

KISS IT!!

Direct download: YMH_302.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:30am EST

Do you wear your jeans high? Then this is the place for you. 

Sometimes you gotta get so high you feel all out panic. That's not for us but some of you LIVE for that feeling!

Tommy had to throw away a box that something came in and it brought up so many difficult feelings that have contributed to his hoarding. Lets explore his past trauma.

A lady gets mad at Wells Fargo and says something that, lets just say, might go down as the all time greatest drop in YMH history. KISS IT!

Plus we get into some of Tom's new hobbies. Won't you help come up with a performer name for him!?!

No Loose Jeans allowed!!

Direct download: YMH_301.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:30am EST

JEANS UP! We made it - to episode 300. Can you believe it? We never thought our jeans could get any tighter, but every day they sink into our skin even more. 

This episode is pure mommy magic. From balloon porn and the lost souls that do it to what the most intimate of acts get you in the adult biz (it's $100). 

Plus Jared from Subway and Cosby are both in deeper trouble as news of new allegations for one and MORE evidence for another comes to light - it's not good for either, Rudy.

Did Tom get another Double Pipe Classic this week?? Was it something new? Find out!

Plus we play some angry on set rants from actors and a new player enters the You Know What I'm Sayin championship, ya heard me?

We also recap some of our all-time favorite moments. 

Direct download: YMH_300.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:31am EST

Pull those jeans up, but leave those condoms at home! We party around here!

Congrats to those same-sex jeans that want to wear rings too. IT'S ABOUT F*****G TIME!!

We get into it with some help from a really neat guy who throws adventurous birthday parties. Plus, what language do you hate hearing the most? Middle eastern in origin? Asian? Latin? We'll explore. 

You thought you'd heard everthing from the sweet Thai lady who explored with Two Gentlemen, but she's got more to say and it is AMAZE.

We find out who Calvin is and have a new song that we're sure you'll hate. 

Direct download: YMH_299.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:49am EST

Call Jesus if you're ever in a pinch and if he doesn't answer call Chuck Woolery.

We break down some new Know What I'm Sayin counts, plus get into the wonderful music of Lil B and Too Short - Sup Bay area!

The Mommies are moving - just into an office, but it's going to be SWEET. Plus we gotta get these doggies to stop poopin INSIDE.

 

Make sure the listen to Joe Rogan episode #664 to hear the mommies have a ball of a good time. And it's official Tommy Mommy is shooting a new special in August. Listen to find out where!

Direct download: YMH_298.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 4:30pm EST

Jeans, Jeans, Jeans - here's a riddle for you: What do you call a lesbian that doesn't eat p***y? We don't know either, but some lady is pretty worked up about it.

The Mommies have an announcement so big they have to play a new sound cue just to live up to the magnitude of it - you'll just have to listen. 

Plus can you have jeans sewn into your skin so you never have to change them? 

Serial killers are such a fascinating, but disagreeable bunch of fellas. Have you heard of Ted Bundy? Not nice. We listen to audio of him talking about his favorite activity - killing.

AND it's the return of our favorite GIGOLO -BRACE. He has a bombshell announcement and gets down and dirty about a lot of his Ho'in details. 

Direct download: YMH_297.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:29am EST

Who's the Babe Ruth of porn?

What are the side affects of Alzheimers medication?

Does performing oral on a prostitute present any risk factor? 

These are all questions that will be answered on this episode and have you shouting Oh Yoshi Didn't!

The great Yoshi Obayashi is back in the Mommy Dome with enough ridiculous tales to fill 5 podcasts, but we crammed them all into this one. 

Get ready to laugh, get ready to cry and get ready to be confused by how you should react during any specific segment. This is Yoshi and there are no boundries. 

Direct download: YMH_296.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:30am EST

You know what I'm saying, we went to Crate And Barrel and really enjoyed all that they have to offer. It's not just a wonderland of white people things, they also have nice toilets. 

Do we have a new YKWIS Champ??? LISTEN closely (and count). 

Plus FEEFO is back and he's talking about his new sister and we have to tell you - he ISN'T happy. We also discover the funny adult actress who blessed us all with the catchphrase of the year last week and we hope you'll help us meet her. 

Do you like spending a dollar? Do you document it when you do? There's a community for you where people just like bore the s**t out of other people with their purchases. 

Be the jeans!

Direct download: YMH_295.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:23am EST

Your Mom's have been busy, yo. Sorry, Jeans. Sometimes your mothers are out doing so much they have to delay doing what they love most - the Momcast.

We've been shooting our pilot and trying to live thru puppyhood. Both are exhausting. PLUS we have some VERY NSFW audio on this one. This episode might seriously be a collection of some of the most sexually offensive clips we've ever played, plus a new one that's going in the vault. 

We review the first 10 minutes of a Steven Seagal film that is so bad, so impossibly not put together that after a 3rd viewing we're still not sure what's going on - but Stone Cold Steve Austin is in it too. 

You ready to Fill Her Up? We got that too. 

Direct download: YMH_294.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:31pm EST

Pull your Cuban jeans up over your head and get ready to lose your mind. We have the REAL Gloria Estefan on this episode and she is nothing short of epic. We discuss the Miami Fart Machine and the potential it has to revolutionize the music industry. Will we go on tour together? Listen and find out. 

Plus we have the original "knowmSayin" and Let Me Tell ya Something, it's really something. Plus ASMR is real (we think) and these whispers might make you feel really special. 

And Maria may have finally met her match at Starbucks. A manager gets testy and FIRED?!?!

We are dancing the night away to the Conga and hope you love it as much we do. 

Direct download: YMH_293_Gloria.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:37am EST

One of the great things about our show is that both Mexicans and Blacks like it. They can both tolerate listening to it and not get upset. It's also what some say about Art Laboe's radio show inside jail. 

We got a bunch of prison shout outs, you know what I'm sayin? And we revist some of the all-time great know what I'm sayin's. Shout out to Butter and Mr. Criminal. One love, homie. 

Plus, how can you tell when an online fart is manufactured? Is there anything that can be done to PROVE what we're witnessing? We make a plea to you, the little mommy, to help us get a return message from Gloria Estefan. Can you ask her to write back to us?

And we're getting another dog - this one won't be a Huxtable. Check out our name options on the show! Be the JEANS!

Direct download: YMH_292.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 4:26pm EST

We recorded this on Cinco De Mayo so we hope you had a fun, safe time celebrating. We visit some audio of a Mexican gangbanger named "Little Boy" talking about shooting a dude in the face to get you in the mood - Margarita, anyone?!

Plus we weigh in on candy bars - are you an immigrant or do you eat what people born 'round these parts eat?

We got that Chris Gaines doc you know you wanna hear - Do you LIKE THAT? And it turns out vocal fry isn't just frustrating to friends and family - employers hate it too. 

Farts? We got those too. 

Direct download: YMH_291.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:37pm EST

It's true that Choosy Mom's Choose Jif, but REAL Mom's do too. Are you REAL??

ChristJeansa and Tommy return from his birth city and they have some stories. Plane dumps and did you know that coconut butter can be used as a lubricant? Tom's family has tested it. 

Pastor Manning lets us inside Starbucks secrets - just how much semen are they putting in your drink? 

We have highlights from our LIVE show in Cincy with Geoff Tate AKA Denim on Denim AKA Hot Dogs and Gatorade for LYFE. You'll find out how many hot dogs he's been eating. 

We haven't heard back yet from Gloria Estefan, but we're hoping by putting our song out there that she will respond soon. 

Love, 

The Miami Fart Machine

Direct download: YMH_290.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:03am EST

Be careful if you like to drink Starbucks like the mommies do. There's a secret that we've all just learned of and that is that Starbucks coffees and lattes CAN get you pregnant!

It's true. Pastor Manning has informed us to just be careful because there are gay men masturbating into your drinks at Starbucks and that's why it's delicious but also dangerous. 

Who knew that Shane Lee could be such a polarizing figure?!? We dive into some of the emails from listeners - some weren't too happy with us!

Plus is #WipeGate ever REALLY over? This time our closest family and friends weigh in. What does Maria say? Cousin Juli? Even Charo lets us know what time it is. 

And the debut of the Miami Fart Machine will surely have you whistling this hit for days to come. Do we have one the top selling artists of all time on the phone? Si, Senora!

Direct download: YMH_289.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:41pm EST

It's Shane Lee's world and we're all just hanging out around him. 

If angels do exist there's no question that Mr. Lee is one of them. With a voice so pitch perfect you'll find yourself questioning what is art, what is soul, what is beauty? The answer: it's Shane Lee. 

In this episode we dive deep in to Lee's world and range of other-worldly talent. We also reveal some very sad, yet unavoidable news to the world of adult entertainment. Get your kleenex ready - you'll be wiping up more than usual. 

Plus Ghost Kru and Obe1 are back with tracks that honor, who else, Shane Lee. 

Direct download: YMH_288.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:23am EST

Need a recommendation on where to eat, what to see? It's a good thing The Concierge is in the building. Never any half-stepping when the Full Charge is here. 

This is one of the most action packed episodes in history. We actually feel a little guilty - about how funny and amazing this episode is. If you don't enjoy this then you have a serious head injury that is accompanied by very loose and low jeans. 

Respect your mother OR get knocked out in the store she works in. Plus will wipegate ever get settled? We have Supreme Court Justice Top Dog laying down a clear RULING. How will America respond?!? Want a workout video to gain muscles, but isn't gay? We might have found your guy. Black Talk that stumps our ears is in full effect and a would you rather that might make you Vegan (Vagina). 

Pull em up, yo!

Direct download: YMH_287.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 9:00pm EST

It's time to try on an old pair. 

Classic Jeans 45 covers some of your favorite moments. Like the morning show where they ask Tommy if he's "their mommy" and Tina's vomit phobia. 

Jeans up forever. 

 

Direct download: CLASSIC_45.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:51pm EST

Well, it's now undeniable. Wipegate is taking the world by storm and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it. 

Shower straight from a brown?! Are you mad? Or maybe you're just TEAMTINA.

Wipe like a person first? Are you human? Maybe you're TEAMTOMMY.

The listeners, other comics, hell, even Web doctors weigh in on this one.

Plus a song that will blow you away dedicated to your mothers! We talk Tommy's taste in (some) white music and a call from OMG Maria that will leave you, well, unsettled?

She's bananas. 

Direct download: YMH_286.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EST

There are good shows as a comedian and there are great shows. Sometimes there are bad shows and then there's this. In Tommy's near 12 year career as a stand up he has had the full spectrum of shows, but nothing quite compares to the Massacre in Manitoba. In this episode we fully examine everything that went into a show going so far off the rails that Tommy had to leave before it was over. We play highlights - if you can call them that - and talk about some of our worst shows ever. In keeping with the Canadian theme we revisit Rob Ford and update you on what he's been eating. 

Direct download: YMH_172.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

If someone weighs 600 pounds and they want more food, give it to 'em! Extreme weigh gain has a profound impact on you physically and psychologically - and also on those who see you. If you're sick of being where you're at, listen to CT Fletcher spit encouragement. Tina loves to ride her BIKE! (BIKES!) and she wears her helmet like a good girl. If you ride a bike, please obey the rules of the road, fartknocker. Tommy is pushing hard to lease a LAMBO for business purposes. Will Tina approve of the deal??? The SHAHS are back on Bravo and we talk about episode 1 of the new season. We give our heartfelt advice to a Mommy in need and we update you on our Brown. Would You Rather and more. Wipe until you bleed!

Direct download: YMH_171.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Do you smoke crack? Exactly. Canadian jeans step up and do the dew! We love audio that paints a picture. We have some that straight up blasts your face! If you can squirt, let us know how you do it - for realsies. We rank chocolate candy treats and Tina ranks Almond Joy at the BOTTOM! Do you think she's a communist???? Bunz strongly disagrees. Which country makes the best, most delicious chocolate treats? A serious debate takes place. Does size matter? Yes. For sure. Definitely. Your small penis size is bad luck and not your fault and now there's a movie about that. Tom used to be a doctor. Tina talks about T.O. - yes the former Pro Bowl receiver was on an Oprah-like show. Abusive dads often create great athletes/accomplished men - so maybe not a bad idea to beat your kids? Trashy panties smell good. 

Direct download: YMH_170.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

I don't remember what we talked about this episode. Hope you enjoy it. 

Direct download: YMH_175.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Don't worry - she's here! The MAIN MOMMY. Is it Tina or is it Tommy? Hmmmm. Discuss amongst yourselves. Is it true what Webster said, is there truly only ONE mommy??? These questions need answers. The jeans are back from Holiday and Tommy has the cough to prove it! Tina drops science and gas AGAIN. How long will she keep her streak alive? Tommy may incorporate some magic into a new act he's planning on doing in Vegas. Here an exclusive clip here! What in the hell is going on with Chuck Woolery? We dive deeper into his greazy ad copy and also play and ad that Tommy is in with some YMH alumni. Plus past guest Brent Weinbach has our favorite thing on the web ever - Gangsta Party Line. We encourage you to check it out and call the line. The best way to spend the holidays is away from your loved ones and that's REAL. 

Direct download: YMH_176.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Don't you look at me like that!?! I'm just trying to impose on you and your family because I'm insane! Cats love BBQ sauce. It's true. If you want to win a cat over, feed it BBQ ribs with lots of sauce. The mommies confess shameful acts of the past - can you forgive them? We love when people stop BS'ing with the PC talk and start droppin F-bombs. Please do us a favor and cut the F'in S and just give us the F's and B's and the C's, you know what I'm sayin? Is anything worse than a co-worker? We think back on our office working days. Good lord do we feel for those of you who are still doing that. Drink water. Poop more. 

Direct download: YMH_169.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Happy Thanksgiving! What are you thankful for? Hopefully, having Tommy and Tina in your life is at the top! If not, we hope you have a horrible holiday season. If your idea of celebrating thanksgiving is talking about suicide and death and how life will leave you any moment then this is the episode for you. Bryan Erwin is an old friend who should have been on the show AGES ago and now he's finally here. He's a comic and a dad and a husband and a felon. Just kidding - he really isn't much of a husband! HAHAHAHAHA. Bryan is simply the best. We talk about parenting and how you talk to your son about other stupid kids who try to ruin your kids life with regards to Santa and of course, sex. When our heroes begin doing bad commercials is when we know we are going to die soon. It isn't GREAZY. It's just life. Best of all, we get to introduce our buddy Bryan to some YMH classics! You'll see, mommy.

Direct download: YMH_174.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

You know what I'm sayin? We like to say it first! Sometimes you put your peepee in a scary place and you don't die - we celebrate that. We hear from a black man who isn't hung like a black man. If someone has had sex with 100 plus people do you count them out as marriage material? The Mommies don't agree. Oprah doesn't front. She's actually Mad Cool. I wish directors would act more like I wish actors would sing more. STOP PUTTING YOURSELF IN MOVIES. Is Alec Baldwin a homophobe because he said something bad when he was mad? Do simple words mean more than intent and action? Don't be a #$%^*. A break thru BROWN TALK and more!

Direct download: YMH_173.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

It sure is getting cool out there. Maybe you should add a layer of denim to your wardrobe. Music is so important to so many of us that is why we totally understand the plight of the juggalo. A juggalo is man or woman or person who wears makeup and does PCP and also cooks fried chicken. When you buy a ticket abroad - buy it for the correct country. Otherwise, you might end up visiting Christina on accident. Tommy took someone to Spain and it wasn't Tina! Listen closely to find out who and why. "Lou Reed died. Who cares" - Tom "Lou Reed influenced everything. Even my farts" - Christina. We debate who really left a mark on music, Lou Reed or Jodeci. Get that jean jacket ready!  

Direct download: YMH_166.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

DISCHARGE! Brandt Tobler is back and, as always, filling your ears with tales of crime and debauchery - we love it! PNC Tuesday is goin down. THAT, combined with "There's No Such Thing As Wednesday" is really making us reconsider our favorite day of the week. How do you make someone pay? Tobler shares a secret that will bring you to tears and make you PAY UP. Dental Update? Yup. Rim Jobs? Of course. Brown Talk? You know this, man. BIKES!

Direct download: YMH_163.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

There ain't no half-steppin' or half chargin nothing especially when your baby's daddy is in the house! The Full Charge, Matt Fulchiron is all up in the Dome. We catch up with our old comrade about bad music, loud crazy people on planes, and the wonder of pain that is having 2 or 3 in you. The NEW BIKES! shirt is here and we revisit the classic clip from Scared Straight. Plus the Top Dog call to end all calls??? It may never be topped and he admits to WIPING A CERTAIN WAY we didn't know about! Keep your jeans on and up for this one. 

Direct download: YMH_162_FullCharge.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

If you're a big dog how about you play with dogs your size, you stupid, selfish inconsiderate C**T. But if you're a dog you might not know where you are playing because DO DOGS EVEN HAVE BRAINS?!? We investigate. Loud, gay sex sounds and terrifying and hilarious. Since we didn't get you the SF Bonus ep, we give it to you here! Groan more! A big, BURNING Dental Update will have you smiling wide and this time we get TOP DOG and CHARO on ONE call. Can you believe your wiping luck?

Direct download: YMH_164.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

You can survive on just air and sunlight and nothing else, but you'll die pretty quickly also. Tina makes a compelling argument for why she feels so strongly about being the MAIN Mommy - she HAS been farting on the show and put TURDS on the ground. Chuck Woolery listens to our show. We think. And he feels badly about being so GREEZY. Do you return the shopping cart to the store or do you leave it by your car like a jerkface? We revisit yelling when you're angry - it doesn't define who you are. It's human emotion, you f***ing f**k. Tina talks about her past City Connection love and Tom shares his brief experience with all that PWESSHAH! 

Direct download: YMH_177.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Don't be SCURRED! It's just your mom and your other mom. Spooky, isn't it? Listen, you no talent piece of S**T! You need to work on your craft! We finally get to the TRUMPET FIGHT that so many of you pointed us to. We read your comments on Tapatio vs Cholula, Lou Reed vs Jodeci and the ICP and whether or not they love God. We revisit some of our favorite scary movie moments and Tom auditions to do voice over work for movie trailers. We're back to FILLING HER UP AND SEALING HER SHUT - super creepy edition. Who will you fill? Be VERY careful listening to this episode because it is VERY scary! Dump Cakes. 

Direct download: YMH_167.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Who's house? Your Mom's House. That's right. A WYR is read on another podcast but they don't want to credit their mothers? That's okay. You know who designed that Xmas WYR - your jeans. Shout out to David Choe and Asa Akira. We drop some NEW WYR's in your ears and read some of your emails. Dental Update for Tommy, A NEW case of foreign accent syndrome and Theo SPEAKS! Maybe dogs DO have brains. There's no such thing as Wednesday!

Direct download: YMH_165.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Do you donate to THE St. Jude's? That's nice. So does the Klan and there ain't nuttin wrong with what they stand for. If you have a young, impressionable child a good thing to do is teach them that hateful, racist terrorist organizations are just fine - at least on Halloween. A REAL TALK update will have you pinchin pennies and throwing up in your mouth! There are limits to how cheap is acceptable and then there are these people who are gross and upsetting. Guess what? Some airlines will stop treating you like children and let you now use your electronic devices during take off and landing - oh, right. You never turned them off to begin with. FILL HER UP SEAL HER SHUT is back with results and a NEW edition. Can racists be sexy? YOU decide! Use your denim for good. Oh my gawsh!

Direct download: YMH_168.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Due to Blueban's incompentance this episode had to be re-recorded. Oh, Blueban! Unfortunately it means that a mommy is missing. Christina is out, but step-mommy, Ryan Sickler fills in and brings the fun, filth, and funny that he always does. Tom and Ryan discuss uncomfortable moments with fans, bizarre sexual experiences and requests, the NFL, the Name of The Year contest, a twitter prank, Would You Rather's and more! 

Direct download: YMH47.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Tom and Christina are together in the mommydome! They talk about "Brown" a lot! Audio of Tom's dad giving advice on wiping and Tom's mom getting extremely upset about it. Tom's snoring is ruining both of their lives and the dynamic duo announce a logo contest for the podcast. Great "Would You Rather's"! We fall in love with some homeless gays!

Direct download: YMH42.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Tom and Christina discuss their recent travels, rude passengers, and the alarming number of drunks on morning flights. Tom discusses recording a new album and hearing his neighbors recent powerful orgasm. They play NEW audio of tourettes patients and revisit the classic, "Johnny Davidson!" Christina tests Tom's knowledge of black culture and plays an interview she did with a comic who smoked crack for 15 years. Dental update and more!

Direct download: YMH43.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Is it possible to prepare oneself for greatness? Try. This episode would be nominated for an Emmy if it were television. Is there a podcast equivalent? That may sound cocky, but we're mobsters over here! OHHHH! Tony Hinchcliffe gives us a gift. His mother, Joy/Gina joins us and answers questions about the life of a bookie. Sweet, petite and full of fire, Joy "It's Tuesday" the Bookie is not to be messed with. It's informative, hilarious and terrifying all at once. We also discuss Shakey Jeans, the Smith clan, and more, but it's all about Joy and you better be ready to pay up. 
Direct download: YMH_161.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

The Mommy's talk hip-hop, Yo! MTV Raps and the joys of rebellious, aggressive music. They discuss what women find beautiful in other women and how men differ (ie. Salma vs Penelope). Both Tom and Christina share recent stories of accidentally peeing on themselves, as well as their joint (rare) venture out to Korea town where eating, drinking, and singing took place. The origins of Where The Dudes At? is given in detail as well as dude-a-rific audio of Hot (gay) Nude Yoga. Top Dog, Would You Rather's and more!

Direct download: YMH_46.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

The Mommy's welcome Matt "The Full Charge" Fulchiron AKA The Concierge back to the Mommy Dome. They discuss Matt's upcoming move to Puerto Rico (New York City), Christina's love of Puerto Rican men and her equal disdain for buying anything nice. They share filthy sexy stories, a twist on Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut, mind-blowing new Top Dog audio and more!

Direct download: YMH49.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Paul F. Tompkins enters the Mommy Dome for a fun-filled 2 hour show. They discuss self doubt, how poorly stand up clubs are run, an open dislike of Billy Joel (Christina) and Bruce Springsteen (Tom). The trio take a stab a new fill her up/seal her shut, dental updates, Top Dog audio, Would You Rather's, and much more! Rejoice!

Direct download: YMH48.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Tom and Christina ask the age-old question, Where The Dudes At? again but Casey provides no answers (though Hirsute Pursuit does try to help). TandC reveal their love and addiction to reality shows in a new segment called, Real Talk. They discuss some of the practices of reality shows and play clips from Dr. Oz, Braxton Family Values, and the Road Rules/Real World Challenge. The two go back and forth on the lack of etiquette found in much of society today, NEW Would You Rathers?, and the neighbor "situation" is addressed. 

Direct download: YMH44.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Christina and Tom discuss how the world is full of self-important assholes and Tom's recent run-in with two significant terrible people. A "Real Talk" segment features a woman with footlong toe nails and a man who insists on kissing a woman after she has vomited. Christina shares her own stories of hearing the neighbor have sex and Top Dog is back for more "Brown Talk"! 

Direct download: YMH45.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

OMG, you guys. We got such a huge response to the Maria call that we revisit it and all its hilarity. According to Christina, Tommy doesn't show much excitement about anything. Well, that is, until you propose that he might be able to get away with murder! That's a fun scenario that we break down because everyone wants to do it, don't you agree? Tina and Tommy also talk about going back in time and what they would do if they could take each other on a first date knowing what they know now. As you can imagine, it's quite romantic. We read a listener email that asks the HARD questions. Do we answer them? Oh yeah. What would you do if you had 6 months to live? We do it real big. Tina has opened a savings account to go to space. Please donate. 

Direct download: YMH_180.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Yoooooooo! We got some jammy jams for yo you know what. Plus we examine the age old question - "How loud is annoying when having an orgasm?" Yup, that's too much. We appreciate each and every one of you "Little Mommies" and this episode we show that appreciation by talking to one of you on the phone and giving a shout out to many more! It idn't Greazy or nuttin. Jeans Connection is no longer a mystery - we have it TRANSLATED! Plus TOP DOG is back with more Brown Talk, Murder and a whole lot more! You're gonna wanna stab someone in the chest with a fork and knife after this one!

Direct download: YMH_179.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Ryder Bones AKA Skyler Stone is in the building. We explore one of our favorite topics - crazy people! They're everywhere an often undiagnosed. Have fun out there! Skyler talks about his new movie, Walking with Dinosaurs and the show that got him started, CON. If you never saw it you missed out on the drive, dedication and manipulation that took Skyler from unknown to TV star in no time. Skyler's awesome voice inspires Tom and Christina to pursue voice over work themselves. Will they go for it?  Plus, Dental Updates, Fill Her Up, an almost-Tom or Black and much more. Don't sleep on Mickey Streets!

Direct download: YMH_181.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Wussup playa! Wut you gonna get dat gurl for Chrissmas? We hope you got all the denim that you asked Sandy Claws for and we hope you got nothing but denim from all your loved ones. We have many special gifts for you this episode. Fan favorite, but rare guest, ARPAD is back! Yup, Tina's dad and everything that annoys him is on the phone doing what he does best - calling out all Bull S**T. Advertisers, BEWARE. CP's pops is not falling for your gimmicks. Actually he is fully rebelling against them. He is also NOT A FAN of political correctness. At all. It's not Happy Holidays to him. It's Merry Christmas or GFYS. If his tirade doesn't convince you, we also have Top Dog speaking in eerily similar fashion. Plus, Aunty FeeFee, the 69 Boyz, Dominic the Donkey and a whole lot MORE! (Santa's Evles??? Maybe).

Direct download: YMH_182_XMAS.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Jeans! We hope 2014 is treating you well. I mean, if it isn't, that's terrible because it literally just started. This episode/momisode we are giving you what would normally be a bonus! It's LIVE from San Diego. Hope you enjoy it! Sharkeisha, NO!

Direct download: YMH_184.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Matt Braunger AKA Six Finger Frank AKA The Dutch Welder AKA Happy Hamcakes is in the building. Comedian, actor and all around good buddy Matt sits down with us as we talk about how great it would be to have Tony Soprano as a father. After all, we are all White, which is a huge plus these days. We go DEEP with Matt as we share and discuss revelations about ourselves and how we discover truths and act on them (For Reals, dawg). Beware of PSYCHOS! They're not just characters on TV. They're everywhere and you probably know a few. Shia LaBeouf, pay attention here. We are back exploring the musical talents of the oozing-with-talent mega movie stars of the last 20 years. Eddie Murphy, Don Johnson and Russell Crowe all, uh, sing? The episode is the DOGS T*TS! (There's even a Lorenzo Lamas story)

Direct download: YMH_Matt_Braunger183.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Hey yo, hey yo! Dawg, I'm sayin. It's real. This one is dope. We got new songs for dat booty. The Full Charge is here and he's got news: A new album has arrived! Be sure to scoop it! OMG Maria is back and she's got something to say when I propose that she quote porn for us. Where do the farts come from? We explore pretty girls and gritty dudes. This one is special cuz The Concierge is here and Maria drops it on us. We think you know who the MAIN Mommy is. Believe that!!!

Direct download: YMH_178.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Tom sits alone and reveals how much of a struggle it was to get the equipment working in the first podcast from the MommyDome. Tom plays a phone call he recorded with his friend, Steve as they recall a drug deal from their youth. The full story of the drug deal is in detail on Episode 185 of The Joe Rogan Experience. Tom plays a few Would You Rather's and flogs himself for his technical shortcomings. Christina is in San Jose, so this one is all Tommy Mommy. 

Direct download: YMH41.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

You'll never want this episode to end. That's how full of delicious treats it is! GG Allin, coconut "C*M" water, Double-Pipe Classics, Tina and her bestie, Dick Detectives, Top Dog, and More! How is this even possible? Well, thru the love that your mother's have for you - that's HOW. It is a savory masterpiece of an episode and all for you to consume. We guarantee you'll be coming back for seconds when this episode gets into your mouth, Jeans. 

Direct download: 87_EDIT.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Chang chong ping pong! Guess who's back? It's the great Yoshi! This is by far one of the craziest episodes we've ever done. Yoshi goes deep. Deep into his mind, soul, and past. He shares a lot and it's fantastic, compelling, terrifying, sad and hilarious all at once. What a guest! There's no way we can describe everything we talk about, but here are some key words: Porn, fighting, death, fleeing, kids, blood, hookers. What do you think? Yeah, I thought so. Come back in 2 days for part 2, Geisha Jeans!

Direct download: YMH_88_pt1.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

The NEW Mommydome welcomes its first guest, comedian Brent Weinbach aka B-Weezy. The episode guests down and dirty from the jumpoff with Cm Dog audio to get you in the mommy mood. We go over our glorious history with Brent including our time in Austin and the surely soon-to-be-award-winning short film, Bear In A Bathtub. Brent also plugs his new album, Mostly Live and we get into lots of tomfoolery including very in depth BROWN TALK that might have you asking, Does Brent know Top Dog? Plus so much more! Keep your Cm Dog on a leash.

Direct download: YMH_86.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Seriously? Seriously! It's the return of Maria "Seeeriousllahhh Guys, I Don't Talk Like That! AAHHHHH!!" and we couldn't be happier. We salute our veterans, share details about how Tina and Tommy met and fell in love (Really!) and then we give you Maria - RAW and UNCUT! You don't know FIRED UP until you hear Maria in her own element! SERIOUSLLAHHHH, Guys! Plus much more in this episode. No Loose Jeans Allowed!!

Direct download: YMH_85.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

The implications of this years election are massive and who better to way in than the Mommies! In an EXCLUSIVE interview Christina and Tom happlly welcome Peace and Freedom party nominee, Roseanne Barr. Barr is her vintage self, never holding back and sharing her policies and why she thinks she should be in the White House. This BONUS episode also has reactions from Top Dog, Tina's dad, stories from moving, and more! Plus you'll never stop wiping when you hear the teaser at the END of this episode. 

Direct download: YMH_83.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Welcome to Braceland! He's finally here. The star of Gigolos on Showtime and soundbites in our hearts, Brace, joins us for a lengthy conversation about life, karma, fitness, grooming, and pounding chicks. Tommy and Tina are overjoyed to spend time with affable and hilarious Brace. Also, get ready for updates on the move, becoming a C*m dog, Fill Her Up, and more!

Direct download: YMH_84.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

KABOOM! Guess who stepped in the room? TICAL! or YOSHI! Back with more of that ISH you just can't get enough. Our conversation with Yoshi was so loaded we HAD to split it up into TWO episodes. Here is more of what you came for, part 2 of Yoshi's return with a real "talking to" about prostitution. Get your jeans ready for a brand new belt! SUSHI!

Direct download: YMH_88_Pt2.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

International Jeans can be worn comfortably in this episode as we welcome world-traveling funny man and all around charming lad, Tom Rhodes into the Mommy Dome. Rhodes puts us at ease immediately and an easy-going conversation about anything and everything develops. We cover his amazing success in Holland including his television show, why the Dutch are not impressed with celebrity, Tom's family and their black voices, butt flutes, Fill Her Up, plane sharts and more!

Direct download: YMH_89.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Get your orignial jeans on because we're going back to basics -Tommy and Tina and nobody else. Great audio from the holidays including OMG Seriouslahhh Maria ordering Starbucks LIVE! Plus Top Dog and Charo discussing dumping in a hazardous situtation, how we would kill each other and dispose of the body and more! WARNING - we hit on brown talk a lot. Including a SHART story you didn't know about! Wipe Down!

Direct download: YMH_94.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

LaLaLaLaLAAAA! Can you sing? Good for you. This week our guest has a golden voice, twisted mind, and strong hands (Tom's ass found out the hard way). That's right, Brian Haner, who some of you know as Guitar Guy stops by the Mommy Dome to continue our love affair that began in South Africa. If that sounds confusing listen to the episode and solve the mystery! We have great conversation, Brian sings for us, and we even get to play Tom Or Black! This is the time to pull that denim up!

Direct download: YMH_95.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

The Mommy Dome got a little more Mommier this week with our very special guest, Mary Lynn Rajskub (also a REAL mother). Rajskub definitely wore her jeans extra high for us and we couldn't be happier about it. She shares stories of starting out in the cold, hard streets of THE D. After standing up for herself against neighborhood toughs and winning multiple rap battles, Rajskub moved to San Francisco before working on iconic shows Mr. Show with Bob and David, and 24. We also cover a Dental Update, Tom's never-ending cough/illness and a revisit from OMG Seriousalahhh Maria. Yes, she gets fired up! Get ready to MOMMY OUT. It's so cold in the D!

Direct download: YMH_93.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Oh lovers of love and those who desire to be loved more, we think this is the episode for you. Dear friend, hilarious comedian and writer and LADY WHO WANTS YOUR TO TREAT HER LIKE ONE, Sarah Tiana, joins us in the mommy dome with advice that is so good we might just transcribe this episode and sell it as a book! Tiana is a natural fit in the dome because she is one of us - an old friend who just came to kick it. There's a lot of laughs, good times, and excellent insight from romance guru, Tiana on how to get a girl like her. Also, she will blow you (multiple times) if she likes you. Now are you ready to listen? Unbuckle your jeans and get ready to be her.

Direct download: YMH_92.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

YES! Good things come to those who wait and we can't think of anything better than having STEVEN BRODY STEVENS in the Mommy Dome. They just don't make jeans high enough to express our excitement. Brody is his usual POSITIVE self and opens up in a way that will only make you love him more. We talk the Valley, audience warm-up 101, positive energy/positive language, some sports, Daisy the dog, mental health, and much more. If you're not screaming "818 til I die!" by the end of this episode then you needs some meds of your own! 

Direct download: YMH_Brody90.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Baby Jesus was born and so we celebrated and now we give you this: More laughs and good times with Canada's finest, Ian Bagg! We play amazing audio of two of the dumbest women alive - YEAH! Ian also shares what it's like to live where the sun never goes down - CRAZY. We talk about the state of comedy and we read the craziest email ever sent to us by one of Christina's family members! FYI - it's pretty offensive! Merry Christmas, bright light jeans!

Direct download: YMH_91.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

In what will certainly be discussed as one of the realest episodes of any podcast ever, the mommies throw down and learn that "Dick" will make you slap somebody in the face! What? Yes! A recent discovery of an older television show makes Tommy get introspective and discuss his love and obsession with black culture - what could it be?!? BIKES! Also, both mommies tell stories of issuing death threats. Watch out! More dental, oversharing, plus the mommy dome is moving! 

Direct download: YMH_82.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Oh Canada! Some people are just meant for the Mommy Dome and today's guest, Ian Bagg is just one of those people. This fun-filled episode covers a breakthru with Brace from Gigolos, Canadian love, Brown Talk, NEW tourettes talk, full retard, Fill Her Up and more! Truly one of the most fun episodes the mommies can ever remember doing. Strap one on and get ready for Juice! Juice!

Direct download: YMH_81.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

U-N-I-T-Y! The original trio is back! Tom and Christina couldn't be happier to welcome Redban into the mommydome for the first time since their VERY public and VERY ugly breakup! Things start off badly as Redban had to be restrained after trying to fight Blueban. After his anger and jealousy of Blueban subsides you get an instant classic episode. Lots of love and laughs with Podfather. Get ready for Dental Updates, Would You Rather's, an amazing call with Top Dog and much more! Lots of Brown in this one! 

Direct download: YMH_71.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

TMZ ain't got S**T on your mommies! We welcome actress, tweeter, and hilarious writer Jenny Mollen aka @jennyandteets into the Mommydome for lots of laughs and general tomfoolery. Real Talk gets really real with more of Big Ang and we get the inside scoop on Jenny's favorite show, The Bachelorette, complete with tons of ridiculous audio. Most noteworthy of all we play Dick Detectives with Jenny and who is the suspect? Her husband - Jason Biggs! (HINT: It isn't small). If that's not enough for you then you go away! Enjoy!

PS. The voice that pops in a few times is Jenny's very hungover friend, Leslie. 

Direct download: YMH_72.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Konnichiwa! Your mommies are happy to welcome their first Asian into the mommydome! Comedian, history buff, Tonight Show fan, and porn aficionado, Yoshi Obayashi. It's a super fun show that touches nearly every topic. I dare other podcasts to step to this! (Oh SHIT, no he didn't!) We discuss our mutual love and admiration for Dave Attell, racism, stereotypes, Yoshi's affiliation with the adult business, his many interestes and travels, and our favorite story ever of someone unknowingly eating drugs! Great episode! Pull those jeans up!

Direct download: YMH_70.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

People changes!! If you think we're done talking about Stevie, you better get a hold of your britches, son! We have the pleasure (and it will soon be yours) to read Stevie's letter from prison to ALL the ladies of the universe. Single girls, get in line! BROWN TALK: We ask our pharmacist all kinds of questions about dumps and when to take medicine (to fix your dumps). Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut results and more! Jeans couldn't be higher!!

Direct download: YMH_69.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

The Mommies are back from MIA! We recap our trip which included a fun sitdown with Top Dog and Charo (audio included)! One of the greatest documentary films of all time that is near and dear to our hearts, Stevie, is discussed, complete with incredible audio selects. Watch out for Snake! Stevie, whom the documentary is based on is also a piece of shit. This leads us to a conversation about molestors including former PSU coach, Jerry Sandusky. We conclude that nobody would care if all child molestors were set on fire! Get your mom on!

Direct download: YMH_67F.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Rejoice! Our neighbor wasn't cooking for the hour in which we recorded this show! We discuss the horror that is the sound of an old man climaxing (WARNING: audio example is included!). We talk about the world's greatest sport - competitive eating! How many episodes of Your Mom's House can you fit in your stomach!?! Real Talk - Virgin Diaries! Ginger talk is back! Are you ready for some Red? A special Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut and so much more! Crunchy Black, stay up!!

Direct download: YMH68.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Shaka Zulu! We're back from the Motherland! Tina and Tommy share wonderful stories of their time abroad. It's heartwarming to hear how they connected with kind people, had fantastic shows, and took "African" dumps. We reveal that you agree Stevie said, "RetardED" and we present you with another mystery. Also, Christina shares a personal story that will make you very proud. Our jeans have never been higher!

Direct download: YMH_73.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Your 2 dearest mothers welcome the lovely and hilarious Felicia Michaels into the Mommy Dome. We discuss what it's like to work with Joey Diaz on her podcast, Beauty and The Beast, what it was like to WIN Star Search, and Felicia weighs in on the "Oil in the road/I own the road" & "Retarded/Retard" debate! A speacial Labor Day edition of Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut, plus Real Talk and more! Hit yourself in the head with a claw hammer!!

Direct download: YMH_74.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Tina and Tommy have their jeans so high you can barely see their eyes on this one! They get warmed up with prison talk and how they better get ready to eat some box and throw some punches to survive (if they get locked up). Tommy reveals that someone from his past is Filling Up and Sealing Shut one of his All-Time Faves! In our Real Talk segment we explore the sad truth that some reality tv is anything but real, especially TLC's hit show Breaking Amish. A toilet paper test FINALLY reveals who is using the most TP in the mommydome and a MOMMY JEANS EXCLUSIVE - Maria, who TALKS LIKE THAT, is finally on the show in full Maria-Mode. Plus a review of Tom's new album from his mother. 

Direct download: YMH_79_.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

This episode is uh, retarded (a retard). We play retarded clips (literally) - some FULL retard, some not. Christina shares stories of an Iowan tour and brings with her an interview with the one and only Chuy Bravo of Chelsea Lately fame! Tina also talks about the new beard she's been growing - HELLO, Gillette! Tom talks Tacoma and how he's one degree closer to getting Brace from Gigolos on the show. We explore some softcore porn and the Queen of late night skin flix, ZANE - DVR that sh*t! And of course, what you all want, More MARIA!! She shares her ABSURD Starbucks orders and more! Plus we tell you Why You're Single! Stop sharing so much! Your mommies love you! 

Direct download: YMH_80.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Bill "Gingery" Burr enters the mommy dome for a lengthy, laugh-filled conversation. A true sportsman, Burr talked football with Tom until Christina started snoring. The three talked comedy - mainly Burr's stories of hanging at the Comedy Cellar in NYC and everything that was great (and terrifying) about being around the late Patrice O'Neal. We talk about shit-talking online and when people share too much -in person and on Facebook. Bill gets fired up about getting bodyscanned at the airport and why you should never use your debit card. Mike Singletary, Would You Rather, Bears and more! What type of denim are you wearing today?! 

PS- don't forget to download Bill's new special for only $5 at BillBurr.com

Direct download: YMH_78.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

It gets really real this episode, little mommies. We open up to you about our past week - a tough one for us and the little doggie we adopted, Theo (Dr. Huxtable's son). Thankfully, he's still with us. We also get Jeansy with Angel from Angel's Fellatio Secrets - yes, that one. She gives a great interview and gives tips on getting ding dongs down, painless anal and more. Plus, certain cultures behave in very specific, sometimes gross ways. Are you one of those? Do you know people who are? Share with us. We love her!

Direct download: YMH_104.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Charge this shit to the game! Tommy and Tina deliver a Mother of an episode with sound bites, insight, perfect impressions, stories and more! Tom's recent appearance on the Joe Rogan Experience (Eps. 264) where Joe called into question Tom's (in)famous "black voice" is a hot topic! Tom defends his God-given skill and demonstrates how he can yell EXACTLY the way black people do! Last week we solved the "Oil/I/Eye on The Road" mystery and this week a screen grab puts an end to the "retard/retarded" dispute. Results and a new Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut. Plus Tom almost tells Sofia Vergara she can get it IN PERSON! How much are people into farts for real? Just listen and find out. Great Episode! 

Direct download: YMH75.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Comedian Jon Huck enters the Mommy Dome for an extended Momcast that you'll be listening to again and again. We get to know Jon and his testicle(s), share stories, talk teeth, Mike Singletary and more! As an added BONUS we play part of an interview Tom did with his sister - Not the one that TALKS LIKE THAT!! But still, you're going to love it! How high are your jeans today?

Direct download: YMH_76.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

So many different pairs of jeans, but only 2 legs! Tommy and Tina tell you what it means to "Shirley" yourself - WARNING: You may not be ready! A new show finds its way into our REAL TALK segment and it has so much BULLSH*T in it, you may have to Wipe Down after listening. We examine the nervous laughter and what it means, and TOP DOG drops brown and knowledge on you in ways you may have never imagined. We're going to go ahead and call this one an instant classic. 

Direct download: YMH_96.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

F**K HALF the Crab Feast! The Mommy Dome happily welcomes fellow podcaster and comedian, well-dressed man, Jay Larson AKA Bunt Cake. Larson is a guy that makes you feel good cause he's a man of the people. We talk about Kai The Hitchhiker and the crazy audio he provided that is sweeping the web Smash, SmaSH, SMASH! Plus clubs that we love to work, nicknames for our beloved, how gross boogies are, and sports stories that Tina wants to kill us for (she just doesn't understand). It's a fun time with a great guy. Pick your jeans up off the ground!

Direct download: YMH_97.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Everyone is welcome in Your Mom's House. It don't matter if you're black, brown, purple or Asian - oh or gay. We accept you all. In this episode we discuss the recent announcement of Jason Collins - the NBA player who just announced that he is gay. We also discuss the reactions to his announcement and their role in free speech, tolerance, and righteousness. Sound un-mommy like to you? Well, we are soon back to discussing meeting our heroes, white trash Italian food vs. uppity Italian food, Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut in the "where the dudes at?" genre. Gimme some mo (jeans)! 

Direct download: YMH_114.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Some people make your P***y dry! Who does that in your life? Now let them know. Good job. We talk about regrets in life, how awful some audience members can be, how awesome others are, but the big news is that our sushi server who berates for ordering too much is caught on tape giving us the biz! The real scoop is that we really don't order that much, this woman just hates us and everyone who orders more than 4 bites. Then we share what is perhaps the most infuriating 60 Minutes piece we have ever seen -at least in the consumer market genre-and we want our mommies to know the truth. Sunglasses are a racket! Theo fills it up! Oh My GOD!

Direct download: YMH_113.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

KaBOOM! It's Friday which means more jeans. We recap the latest episode of Gigolo's because Brace puts on a performance of a lifetime. So many amazing Bracisms, hope you can handle it. Which Gigolo would Christina hire??? Secrets revealed! THEN, it's the return of Top Dog! This is a call unlike many others - less brown, more bush! You will feel so much closer to Top Dog after this one. Also, did you know 7-11 has great coffee too!?!

Direct download: YMH_115.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

You think that just because you've had ribs and listened to salsa music with someone that you know them - but that isn't always the case. Charles Ramsey tells it like it is and that's why we can't get enough of him on YMH. While some are quick to point out he isn't the most media saavy man on the planet, we're here to tell you that is precisely why he is so awesome. He is SO awesome that we hope he comes to see Christina in Cleveland this week - lets make it happen. We went back to Snooshi and we ate WHATEVER WE WANTED, Buns tells you how dope T Dot was and it gets real jeansy when The D**K Detectives go after their next case - Matt Fulchiron! All that plus prostitutes and more! Cut holes into your denim!

Direct download: YMH_116.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

This episode is gooder than a bitch! Get those jeans ready. Tina and Tommy had opposite weeks. Tommy was in Austin while Tina was in Cleveland - coincidence? Maybe, but no. Which race do you trust the most? We share our thoughts and they're mostly DARK. When you sh*t on Los Angeles, you really disrespecting yourself, man. Don't hate on L.A. just cause you live somewhere awful. HUGE dental update from Tommy. Keep gully, ya'll. High and tight for life!

Direct download: YMH_118.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW! Poetry comes in so many different forms. BAM BAM BAM BAM. See? That was some good stuff right there too. Your Mom's House is FULLY CHARGED once again with Zen like comedy guru and all around denim approved guy, Matt Fulchiron. We cover lyricists and those who aren't as good, being an a**hole to land a woman, pregnancy scares when you're dating are even SCARIER! A VERY uncomfortable D**K Detectives - we get to the bottom of this mystery! Sharing a condo is a nightmare, Charles Ramsey and more! 

Direct download: YMH_117.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

If you don't have teeth, why don't you sing a song? ALL black people can sing...is something a lot of white people believe. We're a couple of only a few who know this is a great mystery. After this episode you will also know the truth. We give you a FULL REPORT on how the THEO fundraiser was an overwhelming success. We are forever grateful to our friends, fans, Theo, and jeans. Memorable dumps are just that - great memories. We recap some of our fondest brown moments. REAL TALK - Gigolos is back!!! That's right, welcome BACK to Braceland! We have clips of the show and of Nick's NEW Sh***y song! Sex sounds! Fill Her Up and more!

Direct download: YMH_112.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

These aren't your dad's jeans! We tell you that aging means that your accomplishments aren't noteworthy - deal with it! If your newly single, the secret is New D**K and New P***Y. Do you know what the worst intros possible are that exist for us as comedians? Don't worry, we'll recreate them for you. Do you need healing of any kind? Does your back or arm or teeth or feeling hurt? Please stare into the eyes of Braco. Don't talk to him or ask any quesions. Just look at him and feel his essence (and buy his jewelry) and you may be healed. If you can't stand staring consider going to see Crapzo - he won't talk but will jizz on you. Plus Fill Her/Seal Her Shut completely dead style! Put some jeans on layaway. 

Direct download: YMH_111.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Oh my what a good time we have for you here. The Voice, Michael Schiavello superb sports broadcaster and all-around great guy became a world-wide phenom this week when his pronounciation of Danny Mainus' last name sounded more like My Anus and well, hilarity ensued - especially if you are like a 5th grader like we are. Luckily for us, Schiavello is our budy so Tommy gave him a call and got the EXCLUSIVE scoop! Plus Tommy and Tina share their love of Downton, arguing over becoming "dog-Sh*t" people, how Tina's dad handles dogs & problems, World Wrestling Nonsense and more!! This is one of those episodes that will have you wishing you had tighter jeans. 

Direct download: YMH_106.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

The episode will teach you the two greatest things in life, "Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut." If that sounds like some real mafioso stuff, well, it is. This has to be one of the most fascinating episodes we've ever done. Our guest is comedian, writer and son of mobster, Tony Hinchcliffe AKA Tony Marsco AKA Tony Nickels AKA Tony Tip Toes. You'd never guess it but Hinchcliffe grew up the son of a mob boss father and bookie mother. HOW DO YOU NEED MORE INFO AFTER THAT?? We also revisit Angel and more of her secrets, but mostly this episode is everything Organized Crime. Put on your pressed jeans for this one.

Direct download: YMH_105.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Wuss goin on here? Public dicks. How many have you seen? We recap a lifetime of sightings and the way they have affected us. Not only has the OG Ryan Sickler graced us with his feast-like presence we also have Tinas cousin Juli in the Mommy Dome. We talk about drugs that hit ya in a way you didn’t expect (NOT GOOD). We go over different types of Punk music (anarcho, crust, awful, etc.) and how much Christina still hates UB40 (the world’s greatest band?). What do you know about Sister Nancy? Prison dudes love booty and more! Go ahead and bookmark this as one of your favorite episodes yet. Cut holes in your jeans.

Direct download: YMH_107_E.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

ATTENTION all Jeans, we hope you can hear this! Sorry for the trouble with 107 - it wasn't me! (It wasn't Blueban either). Can a loving mommy have more than one pair of jeans? Jada-Pinkett Smith sure makes it sound like Big Willie Style has been doing his best to drop his D in as many extras as possible. We discuss whether or not we could tolerate Tina with all her Ricans and Tommy smashin road box. Tina updates you on her Russian teeth fillings and we bring back Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut with some modern day broads up against some throw-back ho's. Theo gets back on the mic and Would You Rather is at its best - real homerun scenarios. Jeans Out!

Direct download: YMH_108.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Well it's Tommy's Smurfday! What did you get him? Sometimes you eat some stuff and then a lot of brown comes out. That happened to us this week. Also, we recap spending time with OMG Maria and even THAT feels like a work out. Our local Starbucks knows her by name and memorized her order: No DC's there! Tommy has a major dental update - will you press play to experience it?!? Who on God's earth likes milk? You're gross. Denim on denim on denim. 

Direct download: YMH_110.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

OH MAH GAWD SERIOUSLLAAHHHH, Maria is here, you guys! This is a dream come true in the Mommy Dome. Tommy's older sister and Starbucks' Enemy Number One, Maria stops by for a chat and she jumps in like a pro. She shares more contempt for more employees of new company's while also getting down with some of the tried and true segments of YMH. Get to know the Maria you thought you knew (she knows Tom's voice) while hearing about her military exploits, how she deals with Top Dog, and conceding that Jane does in fact have better teeth and vision. It's so fun when your jeans get even tighter cause you just washed 'em!

Direct download: YMH_109.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

This is what the Mommy Dome is all about - wearing jeans and having fun. A first timer has joined us who you are all sure to love, the very sweet, very funny, and eerily menacing, John Moore. Sure he's a dead ringer for Ariel Castro, but there's more to John that meets the eye. We cover the phenomenon that is lesbians watching gay, male porn - what? Yes! Is Maya Angelou the greatest human alive? The Dalai Lama? You decide. We also cover John's awesome writing career, singing on planes, and a groundbreaking Dental Update that will shake your teeth to your gums! The Mommies will find John love and hopefully he won't murder whoever he ends up with. 

Direct download: YMH_119.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Oh, Canada. Oh, Canada, you need more lyrics in your national anthem and PLEASE train your singers when they pipe out OUR national anthem or perhaps they will be decapitated on the ice? Maybe. Hit the high notes, sister! We recap a magical weekend in Portland and Seattle, a weekend that was all about that deep blue color that pumps thru our veins - denim. A special phone call with Joey Diaz unlike any other call you could ever imagine. Diaz, as always, inspires, bewilders, and makes us laugh until we nearly stroke out. BREAKING: We get the inside scoop on the fiasco that was Brendon Walsh's nearly-guest hosting The Tonight Show while Jay Leno was sick. All we can say is, Thank God Jay felt better before Walsh covered for him. 

Direct download: YMH_120.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Get those jeans EXTRA tight if you plan on listening to this one! Your baby's grandfather AKA The Dutch Sommelier AKA The Full Charge, Matt Fulchiron is back from Puerto Rico and it's like he never left! Although Matt agrees that being Puerto Rican is like being Puerto Rican he also knows that the West Coast is the Best Coast and it's the best having him in the Mommy Dome. We talk about the horrors of sharing an NYC apartment, growing older, gagging while blowing (we tried it), more trigger songs and we even TRY to digest the BOSS. Plus we break down how bad early rap lyrics were. Keep em high!

Direct download: YMH_102.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Joe Bartnick is a man. The kind of man the you can easily imagine having his way with you. He is large and powerful and most likely stronger than you and capable of forcing you to do what he wants you to. Sorry if now you think Joe Bartnick is going to make you blow him. Joe is also a hilarious comic and a kind soul. Joe is a comics comic that loves to shoot the shit and talk shop which is exactly what we do with him. Bartnick has written for the roasts and tours with Lisa Lampanelli. We talk about fighting, teeth, touring and jail. Bartnick also has a new album out, Salute! -Available on iTunes and CDbaby. Joe confesses that he won't wear mommy jeans but he does own a nice pair of "Dad shoes."

Direct download: YMH_103.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Guess who is OUR new best friend? Yeah, it's Alison Rosen and soon you will be calling her DEAREST MOMMY. Alison fit in like a new pair of extra tight jeans. She's not only a co-host on Adam Carolla and host of Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend, she's also Up for the Get Down and a total pro on the mic. It's so fun that we talked longer than usual and cover everything from Alison's new engagement to Trigger Songs that make you angry to Dental Updates and we even get in a Tom or Black that is an instant Classic! Have fun with this one. It's real JEANSY!

Direct download: YMH_101.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

It's HERE! We made it all the way to Episode 100! What better way to celebrate than with the little man who started it all with us, our son, Redban. This episode is so much mommy it's completely made of denim! As as treat to you, the little mommy, we have special appearances from OMG Seriouslahhhhh Maria, Top Dog, and Gigolo Brace! Plus SOOOOO much more! Your Mommies Love You!

Direct download: YMH_100.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Put on your lovey jeans, Jeans! It's ValenTIMES day! Today is the official kissy face day in America according to the US constitution Abraham Lincoln and Benjamin Franklin were kissing in a bathtub when George Washington walked in on them and said "Less war, more Kissies, guys." And that's how that happened. This episode covers the jammy jams that are now all about droppin some D in warm, welcoming place (the essence of Valentimes). The Mommy's also try to make a love connection happen in the real world! Comedian and friend Erik Lundy is looking for love and we want to help him. Listen and perhaps, PERHAPS, love him! Run a bath, light some candles and get ready for the love from both of us! 

Direct download: YMH_98.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Awwww yeah, just a couple of mommies sittin around with their jeans up. We get right to it quick on this one. Breaking down the White Tigress takes time and we didn't get to do that last time, so we really give her her due on this one - she really wants her reward! Tom and Sushi seem to be a recipe for Shirleying himself that the Asians see coming and we appreciate that. We discuss the hilarious comedy Human Centipede that we hadn't seen until recently and we also visit why Sweet Brown never made it on the show until now - IS SHE EVEN REAL?!?! Plus Tog Dog drops science about his weightlifting days and more! Be The Best Mommy You Can Be.

Direct download: YMH_99.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

If you don't like the way things are done at your school, do what our South African friend does and bring a whip. Make it a quick class, very quick class! The mommies recap their tour of the South and all the calories that came with it. Cheese and PISSA and wings. So, so, so many wings. We share the Ricky Schroder/Webster story from JRE as we still can't enough of that cute, little, black son of a bitch. Chuck Woolery has a pretty crazy twitter account. We read some of it and then play some of the classics from Love Connection. My goodness do we love that show. Put 2 and 2 in your butt. Plus we play audio of a man who is disappointed in his prostitute. It's horrifying!

Direct download: YMH_160.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Tommy was recently on a flight with GREG JENNINGS. Yes, that one. The former Packer and current Viking who knows how to catch and run with the ball, but most importantly always PUTS THE TEAM ON HIS BACK, DOE! We want a wine vacation. Who's with us? Tina covers her Top 10 Goth Jams - get ready to cry! Another NEW song drops from DYA-BEAT-USS and it's the bizness, kid. A very spicy Fill Her Up and more!

Direct download: YMH_127.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Every mother deserves to squirt. We give YOU the tools to make a flood in your bed, go for it! We revisit the F***ing Camp child who uses BIG WORDS sometimes, like, well, the worst racial slurs - it's amazing. Tommy recaps an anxiety filled weekend with Top Dog and Charo and you get to hear a tease from The Top Dog and Charo Special - they play Tom or Black and it's an instant denim classic. Bert Kreischer is on the phone talking about his dad masturbating and how he gives it to his wife, Lee Ann. Mrs. Kreischer lets us know that Bert is a less than desireable lover, but he bought her a new car so she's staying until 2014. Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut military movie edition style and more! Pour your mother a drink!

Direct download: YMH_122.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Nothing makes our jeans tighter than when a coach verbally abuses his players or the media. Another great man allowed himself to be recorded spittin fire at his team and we love it! We revisit Kai The Hitchhiker who just months ago saved someone from being killed - now HE is wanted for murder. Big BROWN Talk update, plus Old people are just OLD not stupid. We also get Tina's cousin, Sari on the line and reviewing movies (HINT: She's not impressed), a listener Dental Update and more! Hopefully our new tailor can modify our jeans so they can be worn higher. 

Direct download: YMH_121.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Nothing goes in Tina's booty - Well, lets just say NOT MUCH! Hehehehehehehe! We got a Chuck Ramsey update, wussup McDonald's?! What is Richmond, Virginia? Southern? Eastern? Full of murder? We talk about Nazi's AND Slavery. Whoa, that's pretty serious stuff in the Mommy Dome. Don't worry we're soon listening to retarded kids singing. Is that for them or us? Theo's back plus Would You Rather and more!

Direct download: YMH_123.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Ian Bagg is now a U.S. citizen and we treat him accordingly. We discuss what's permissable to say as a comedian and whether comics should be held accountable for what they say on stage and the culture of today's clubs in general. Also, Indian people will rape you - in large numbers. Loud people on planes should be kicked off and fully investigated by our government, people who dress terribly have something in common with Michael Jordan and nothing in common Liberace - our HERO! Plus the Top Dog and Charo ep is now on sale! When you're Puerto Rican you're Puerto Rican

Direct download: YMH_124.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Musical mommies are abundant! You sent in your tunes and we play some of them, but really, we have to admit that WE are the musical masters. Tina dropped "Animal Song" last time and this time Tommy brings the heat with "Butthole Song". Grammy's are A'callin'. Tight jeans are great, but not if they're low. You gotta pull em up! We're happy to announce that our bonus episode made it to iTunes and you made us #2! When you're Puerto Rican you're just Puerto Rican, especially if it's the Puerto Rican Day Parade! Ay Papi - Duro! The mommies are going on vacation thanks to Tina's pops, plus Candy Crush is DEE-LI-CIOUS. 7AM is a little early to flirt, ya'll!, plus we found a horrible woman who recorded herself being horrible. Keep it Jeansy!

Direct download: YMH_126.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Remember when you were 10 and you prank called everyone in the phone book? Those were the best of times, but then you matured and realized, hey, that's not a nice thing and also they can now see my number. Well, we haven't grown up so get ready for childish calls about buttholes and black voices! Also, CALLING ALL MUSICAL JEANS! We need your support - send in your tunes and get them played on Your Mom's House. We have an update about the BONUS episode. Oh, iTunes why are you so difficult? Will Smith and Jaden Smith believe in patterns and mathematics and in being completely insufferable. Dental Updates, original music and more? MAAAAAAANNNNN!

Direct download: YMH_125.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Tommy and Tina announce a big plan for international shows! Get ready, Africa! They talk Top Dog as well as Tom's sister and mother complete with tons of impressions - hold on to your nuts, fans of impressions! Dental Update galore with your listener emails including one that includes a breakthrough innovation (that will surely earn him billions)! We talk about sober braggers - who never shut up about their soberness - smoke some crack already, will ya?!? AND the moment you've all been waiting for, will we finally find the answer to the question that philosphers have been asking for YEARS - Where The Dudes At? Casey joins us for a very emotional conversation. Would You Rather makes a return! Grab some tissues and rejoice in your mommyhood!!

Direct download: YMH66.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Oh jeans! Tommy is back from Toronto and as usual has high praises for his neighbors to the north. Oh Canada! And it's official, Tom's album, White Girls with Cornrows has dropped. They discuss their appreciation for those that have purchased it and the fun it is to do a project like this one on your own. Tom and Tina have a very special segment in which they answer listener questions - it's Get To Know Your Mommy - interrogation style! Plus a very special Top Dog call - just take a guess as to what the topic is. Would You Rather's are back and much more! Buckle Up (your jeans, that is)!

Direct download: YMH_77.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Crime fighting extraordinaire, Armenian revolutionary, self-proclaimed deviant and somehow still good guy, Sam Tripoli is in the Mommy Dome. When "Trips" is in the room it's a non-stop party from beginning to end. We talk shop and having a gambling dad who "smashes black ass," nightmare gigs, strippers and so much more. Sammy also comes close to breaking records on Tom or Black, plus Dental Updates and more!! Don't forget to watch Tommy's new short film, "9 Inches" on his YouTube channel. 

Direct download: YMH_140.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Blue jeans, Blue jeans, oh where are thou Blue jeans? If you liked the first bonus ep we released get ready to lose your mind with the second one. Christina's dad came into our studio for nearly 2 hours and dropped so much science we both have degrees. It's heartwarming, hilarious and incredible insight into what made Tina mommy who she is today (she's like a dog - you'll see). Plus we visit the new Weiner scandal and read some of his hysterical (creepy) texts and NEW Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut and for the first time ever we take YOUR calls. Sorry for the call waiting beeps. We're figuring it out, but we loved hearing your love issues. We love her!

Direct download: YMH_139.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Some have had the never to criticise this show for being less than sophisticated. To those that have unflattering remarks about us we present to you Episode 141. The Mona Lisa, the Sistine Chapel, and now this very episode of Your Mom's House with all mentioned in the same breath. We examine the meaning of life, the purpose for which one exists and we might just have an answer to the question, "Is there a God?" Give this podcast a listen and you'll be pleased by what you hear. We also take more calls from our listeners about Love! Can you feel that? That's your jeans getting TIGHTER! 

Direct download: YMH_141.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Do you share your garden with your neighbors? No? You Pinocchio nosed whore! If all kinds of crazy is what you like then this is the episode for you! We revisit the genius that was Anne Ramsey (Throw Mama From The Train), a lady who can talk to animals spoke to Theo and she has something to say! Buns talks doin WORK in Richmond, fart fetishes are revealed by our listeners - YOU can't get enough! Plus airline perks should be obeyed, Would You Rather and more!

Direct download: YMH_142.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

This episode will have your jeans in a super high twist! There's no berries like Sherry's berries. Imposters need not apply (Terry). We read your emails and discuss Tom's beard flakes. What reality shows are you watching? And a very special phone call with Top Dog that will have you looking at public restrooms in a whole new way. And we take your phone calls and give you love advice. 2 Mommies 1 Jeans.

Direct download: YMH_143.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

The Mommy Dome is rarely at a loss for words, but one guest has the special skill to leave us near speechless and he's back. Yoshi Obayashi, the Japanese/Korean/Pornagrapher/Ho expert/Samurai is always up for sharing a story that is honest, in your face, and leave you begging for humanity to better itself. His 3rd visit is no disappointment as we cover his recent exploits at Comic Con, getting prostitutes south of the border, being a loner, Asian shame, and soooooo much more - like erotic optical illusions! Some Mexicans don't look Mexican, mommy!

Direct download: YMH_138.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Can someone fit their D**K AND Balls into a woman at once? It's something we explore at length in this very special Friday release episode. If you haven't yet figured it out this episode is very much NSFW or for those of you that listen on speakers in public places - this audio will definitely lead to you getting fired or losing friends/family. If every one knows that you're bald then when you wear a wig we all know that's not your hair, Jason Alexander. Pretty girls will always be annoying if you allow them to be. When you ignore the stupidity that oozes out of their mouths you're helping them become more interesting. This is the secret to life. 

Direct download: YMH_137.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

These jeans need a wash. After a weeklong mini-tour of the South the mommies are back home and telling you how it all went down. Fast food and faster dumps. A pee latch for you car? Super fans and super douche bags - it's all out there. We talk about the joy of BBQ sauce and the horror of long drives and we even have to continue giving you that Jada Pinkett Knowledge, knaw meen? Twitter haters, we feel you. Your hate has hit home. Now please go find some love in your life. That's an order from your mother! We want to thank each and every one of you that came to our shows. May the denim be with you. And keep your feet off the dash, please. 

Direct download: YMH_159.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Sometimes you have to listen closely to hear all the magic that's in the air (air that escapes from our butt). Luckily, we had a microphone to Tommy's butt on the Bertcast and we've got the audio ready for you. Lil Debbie is a wanna be ratchet girl who really talks like a valley girl, but who cares? We keeps it real. Charo tells us another cab driving story only this time it's in Spanish and English and Spanish and Spangrish. Top Dog gets on the horn to discuss the diagnosis that he's a sociopath and Super Maria is FIRED UP about a RUDE lady at, where else, Starbucks. Plus we read from GG Allin's diary. This episode really covers all your basic dietary needs. 

Direct download: YMH_156.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

If you have a family that is overflowing with talent then you need to have a vision for the journey so the spirits can come together and be a business. That's a quote. Sort of. Listen to how the Will and Jada Smith's run their household. Be sure to have a bucket nearby - you might get sick. Some actors are also too talented for their own good, like Jared Leto or a pile of horse sh*t. Egos of this magnitude are fascinating. Ladies, if it's that time of the month, don't be selfish. Offer your "other" entry so that a man doesn't suffer just because you're "bleeding." Theo talks smack to Tina and a whole lot more! Jeans Forever!

Direct download: YMH_157_2.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Happy Birthday, Lady America! Today Mommy United States pushed our country out of her HOO-hole! Set a sparkler on fire to celebrate! We happily welcome Ari "Bear Jew" Shaffir into the Mommy Dome. We talk exercise and how much we like/don't like doing it, embarassing moments on stage, how censoring curse words from your children is fucking stupid and also how adults who are offended by cursing are cunts. An impromptu Dick Detectives comes out of nowhere! Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut athletes addition! We tease the return of Casey "Where The Dudes At?" and more!

Direct download: YMH65.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Our philosophy has always been push as hard as you can until it hurts and then tell us about it - and you did! Your poop triggers are fascinating and unique. STOP THE PRESS - Stevie has been sighted in Nashville! This is HUGE news. Please, if you are in the Nashville area approach with caution and let Stevie know that the mommies are coming to town! You gotta take care of your FEETSIES. You're saying a lot if your toes are all mashed up and flakey. Hands too. I guess Tommy is freakin out man cause his fingers are ALL chewey! Ewwwwww. Plus a huge video reveal: IFartInYoFace is the King A** Ripper and we celebrate his gift with all of you. All others bow in his presence or face his wrath (from his butthole)! Get a whiff of that!

Direct download: YMH_144_2.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Before last Wednesday we honestly thought that Hilary Clinton was America's most polarizing figure, but we've learned that isn't the case. Perhaps no person has such a profoundly different affect on the American public than King A** Ripper AKA Gross Glutton Manners. The man who's farts can be heard around the world made some of you scream with laughter while other cried is complete disgust. We read your feedback as we prepare to do live shows in Texas. Learning isn't supposed to be fun. Stop being stupid, just learn like an adult. By reading. Books. Ladies, don't feel bad if your hangers flap around in the wind. Us guys still want whatever you got. Keep your chin and your jeans up. 

Direct download: YMH_145.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

You no speaky like you do before. Where you from? Ingrrand? It happens and it's real. Migraines can lead to Foreign Accent Syndrome.  It'd be soooo much better if super square white guys woke up speaking like Antonio Cromartie. The mommies go back for more sushi and get the inside scoop on the family that shames them. The jeans talk about their weekends in Long Island and Austin, plus audio of a racist porn star, Dental Updates and more!

Direct download: YMH_152.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

You gonna repsect the game, ho. You know what I'm sayin? Do you? No? Oh, well, it's kinda confusing. Luckily for you we have a guest that fits into our studio like a brand new custom pair of jeans. You may have seen her in I Love You, Man, Enlightened, or Drunk History and now she's all up in your ear buds, (She's also the last person that GG Allin slept with but her husband doesn't know so don't tell him) it's Sarah Burns! It's also show and tell time for the mommies as we play her some of our favorite recent clips. This includes some of the KING (you've been warned). There's also Tom or Black and more! You can go ahead and "favorite" this episode now - it's amazing. 

Direct download: YMH_153.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

J-J-J-J-J Jeans Unit! Hello, meow. Thanks for getting that new fall line of denim for this episode. We wear our jeans at eye level on this one. Crack can make you cry and by cry, we mean, that's hilarious. The ORIGINAL MOMMY, Charo gets on the phone and tells us a story that will have you begging for even MORE MOMMY. We discuss the possibility that Top Dog is a true killer and Maria reveals news that is so big, so mind blowing we don't think the world is ready for it. Get ready for an epic episode. Peace, God. 

Direct download: YMH_154.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Drugs are powerful. People say what they wanna say. It's f***ed! We'll show you. If you like p***y does that make you a p***y magnet? Get ready for some great awful music. The White Girl Mob needs to look into comedy cause these videos are HILARIOUS for all the wrong reasons. Anthens rack em is dead! RIP. Also, Stevie is probably not going to be at our Nashville show. We'll tell you why (though you can probably guess). America's most annoying child celebrity, the incredibly delusional Jaden Smith spreads his stupidity thru twitter. Is anything better than a severely sick person starring in a sitcom? We don't think so either. You know what I'm sayin?

Direct download: YMH_155.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

What's your parenting style? Shame, anger, guilt, all 3? Good for you. We welcome your form of abuse into our home. All forms of entertainment including sports are simply distractions. What's important is rarely discussed by the majority. We get into the thick of it and question why. Why do we ignore what's really significant? After this prolific philosophical question we soon have Top Dog on the phone to talk about poop. Tommy introduces TD to the Bristol Stool Scale and the results are magnificent. What was Da Vinci's reaction when he discovered a paintbrush? Very similar. If you ever have a problem with your food be sure to call 911. That's what it's for. 

Direct download: YMH_151.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Get your hands off my penis! All of you! Can you be arrested for simply enjoying a meal? We think, yes. Jeans has t*ts for days and well, buns has d**k for days, ya dig? If you are black and don't have d**k for days would you be a doll and let us know about it? We examine the porn girls voice - could you possible remove that with your implants, please! Tommy trains Tina in identifying who is a suck pig and who isn't, but Tina reveals the secret of what shames and what celebrates giving out the good stuff. Be proud of who you are, pig!

Direct download: YMH_150.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Texas was off boot kickin good time, ya'll! We tell ya all 'bout it! We want your crazy trucker stories, truckers. Tell us about lizard lots. Real Talk: Naked and Afraid is Lame and Dumb. Inside the Vietnam War is very informative and gets a pass on racial slurs - pretty awesome, huh? We never watch shows when they're hott, son. That's why Christina is just now watchin The Sopranos, you know what I'm sayin? Aunty FeeFee knocks it out of the park again. Just when you think she can't wrap God and something unrelated into a song, she blows your mind. Tommy and Tina give you the list of what they're most thankful for. What are you most thankful for? Beef? Your Phone? We have crack whores talkin smack before they shoot adult stuff too. It's a good day!

Direct download: YMH_146.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Mayday Mayday Mayday! Mommy Down! That's right, this episode there's only 1 mommy, 1 pair of lower, looser jeans. It's sad, but don't worry. Tina mommy will end up being okay. She's resting and getting new denim to make her feel better. This episode we have the very funny, unpredictable and completely outrageous, Brandt Tobler in the Dome. Nicky Santoro is a more welcome sight in casinos than Tobler. If you think I'm kidding, just listen. Tobler's stories are so incredible you genuinely feel like he's telling you fiction - but he isn't. He's done more and seen more than most people see in 10 lifetimes. It's always great to get a comic in the building with all kinds of crazy stories to tell. Buckle up on this one. We guarantee you'll be wanting to hear more from Tobler. Don't forget to follow him -- @brandtTobler 

Direct download: YMH_147.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Why do porn girls talk like that? Like OH MY GAWWWD? We consider this earth shattering truth. How many is too many? How many can you handle? Tommy announces his all NEW football podcast is finally UP! Charge It To The Game is available NOW on iTunes, Stitcher, and it the Charge it Web Page - you know what I'm sayin? Jeans is feeling better. Mostly because she's now very into narcotics. We delve into Real Talk and break down what the man with 132 lb scrotum is all about - all kinds of nuts. Tommy talks about his Vegas weekend - big ballin, ya'll. We share your trucker stories and more! New Fall line jeans are coming out!

Direct download: YMH_148.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

The mommies can't add. We know words and we know sounds and we know that catsfish and bass loves frogs cause we're smart. We knows what's to use! But math - no thank you! Tommy is smarter than Tina, but Tina has a big heart. Tommy also has a special gift - he knows from simply glancing at a woman if she is DTF. He knows who is a waste of time and who has jeans that are easy to take off. We go back for Sushi from the lady who enjoys shaming us, but this time we show her who will apply more pressure (pwessha). We have a Brown Talk segment that truly breaks it down. Plus Dental Updates and more!

Direct download: YMH_149.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Is Sum Ting Wong? Me no no? When news organizations air racially offensive names we're the ones that say, "Thank you. Can we have some more, please." Do you need mo' PWESSHAH? Also, if you don't crash planes then you don't get pranks like this pulled on you. Aunty FeeFee is back letting the lord speak thru her heart. Her pen hits the paper and some unoriginal song comes out of her mouth. A Very DEEP and gripping BROWN TALK that will leave you wiping for days (down, of course). NEW Real Talk and the mommies discuss possibly doing additional episodes in the near future. 

Direct download: YMH_136.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

We speak English and you understand us, but YOU speak English and we don't understand a single word you're saying, Scottish jeans. Did you ever go hoggin' back in your day? Gaping butthole photos? We cover that for you. Sometimes violence in movies and television is hysterical and we kind of disagree on that. Weigh in with your opinion, won't you? Did you know that Webster was a huge pop star in Japan? We have the never award winning audio! His voice is annoying and adorable at the same time! Coca-Cola calls its customers RETARDS and we have the proof (or was it retardED). We give you the FULL Willie Rack Em audio and Tommy hits on a sushi waitress. Remember, there's only 1 Mommy.

Direct download: YMH_158.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

This episode begins with a mommy meltdown in the mommy dome courtesy of Ustream, which nearly causes Tom to murder Blueban. Soon after, the jeans are back on and up! The mommies discuss a general disdain for Nancy Grace, their recent travel stories, a REAL TALK segment featuring gypsies, Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut, Would You Rather and much more! Oh Mommy!

Direct download: YMH58.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Mommy, mommy, oh mommy, mommy! Get ready for a good time. Fellow comedian and Southern Belle, Rory Scovel enters the mommy dome for the first time. Rory witnesses the unveiling of our producer, Blueban, to our Ustream audience, we then talk about a fun thing to try to your lover, more Beastie Boys love, couples that don't fart in front of each other, Cosby, shitty people that go to shows, Fill Her Up/Seal her shut, when eating pot goes wrong and more! Go to YourMomsHousePodcast.com for all the mommy magic!

Direct download: YMH57.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

When a mommy is missing it isn't truly Your Mom's House, so this episode is unofficially Your Aunt's House, but boy does Auntie get down! Fan-favorite and dear friend, Bert "The Machine" Kreischer joins Tom for the first LIVE video podcast from the MommyDome. We talk about sharing death news with people, Bert's new show, getting to know Vanilla Ice, a follow up on The Dick Detectives, dealing with our anxiety, and more! We laugh our Mommy dicks off! RIP MCA

Direct download: YMH56.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

This show was like WHOA! The first ever LIVE Momcast could not have been more fun. 3 Amazing guests and a lot of laughs. Tommy and Tina cover it all with brown talk, orgasms, Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut, Would You Rather, Arab or Jew, another football coach monologue, Dick Detectives, and hilarious stories from Ari Shaffir, Matt Braunger, and Bert Kreischer. More live shows to come!

Direct download: your_moms_house_5-23-12.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Nothing can prepare your ears for the Mad Flavor that is Joey "Coco" Diaz. Christina and Tom are elated to sit back and have their Uncle Joey share stories of crime, Hollywood, sex, and most importantly, taking dumps outside. You will only wish this episode never ended as Joey has us laughing for the entire duration. Pull your jeans up!

Direct download: YMH54.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

You're the man now, dawg! Tommy and Tina talk about their recent travels and how lame it is to watch old dudes hit on young girls by trying to sound like they're young too. The lesson: act your age or better yet - just do you, dawg. Christina admits to knowing nothing about current affairs and especially about Kennebunkport. The real treat here is Top Dog gives gold. He talks farts, brown, toilet paper, and how he used to pick up chicks. Guys, you're going to want to take notes cause you're about to start getting laid way more. Bankers beware! And the official Podcast T-shirt makes its debut! Wipe Down!

Direct download: YMH63.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Bring the muthafuckin Ruckus! Tom and Christina drop science on you so open up your journals and take notes! We begin with some friendly banter regarding our different tastes in music to warm your ears. Then the moment you've all been waiting for arrives - Tom talks about his trip with Top Dog which includes audio immediately after Top Dog shit his pants. It's a special moment for Tom and all of our little mommies. We read a listener email, discuss our neighbor's new sex friend, talk about a new documentary about Where The Dudes are At, Real Talk about gypsies and more!

Direct download: YMH62.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Well if you aren't my mommy then who are you? Tommy spent the weekend in NYC with his close celebrity friends (no big deal) and shares his love for the great big ol' apple (is that the expression?). We revisit Tom's mom's obsession with everything Wu-Tang. Christina fixates on why she routinely tortures herself with caffeine and toothbrushes, while Tom does the same with his fingers. We discuss our desire for a psychologist to analyze comedic podcasters, play some of our new faves in REAL TALK, and finally introduce you to Christina's father with some primo audio! Be Her!

Direct download: YMH61.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Pull your jeans up over your shoulders - it's Mommy time! Tommy and Tina cover all the bases in this one. The duo talk trash about their producer, Blueban, they bring back fan-favorite, The Dick Detectives, read RESULTS from Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut, give you a Where The Dudes At update, discuss their interest in Holocaust literature, play NEW Top Dog audio and much more!

Direct download: YMH55.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Sometimes when you say BIG WORDS people won't hire you any more, ya'll! We visit the Paula Deen debacle and encourage all of you to deny, deny, deny when asked if you say offensive words. Poor Paula even got dropped by Diabetes, ya'll - oh DYA BEETUS! Plus we investigate other celebs who have accidentally said the N-word but they were being recorded. Their careers may surprise you! The mommies also recap their week in the Dominican Republic that was a delight with the beach, the food, and the porno, porno, porno! There's brown talk and more! Get thinner jeans for these hot summer months. 

Direct download: YMH_131.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

How high are your jeans today? The mommies talk more hip-hop, how terrible Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj are, the Saints bounty audio, possible album titles for Tom, penis size, weird vaginas, and an exclusive interview with "Mamita" (Tom's mom) all about Top Dog! 

Direct download: YMH51.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Buckle up! Tina gives Tom and you a lesson in Goth music (good for doing heroin). Tom's birthday was celebrated with great food and an inapporpriate gesture in a restaurant, but Christina has been pushing the etiquette envelope a LOT lately (with her finger). A double-dose of Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut, we express our wavering love to our listeners, dental update, Mamita audio and more!

Direct download: YMH52_2.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

The Mommy Dome happily welcomes Brendon Walsh, formerly of the group "InnDIgGnASHUN" which eventually became Boyz II Men. We discuss some of Brendon's well-known pranks, his spectaular dentals genes, and his love of his own B.O., and his boy band past. Nothing but good times on this epsisode which also features ALL-NEW TOP DOG audio. Wipe Down!

Direct download: YMH53.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

The Mommy Dome is a hot bed of hot topics on this episode. Christina and Tom discuss Nate Dogg's prolific career, brown talk, the most disgusting cookbook ever, Real Talk about Mob Wives, KC BBQ, the history of "KingFish", a new Mommy sing-a-long song, and more! Jeans up!

Direct download: YMH50.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Matt Braunger is one of our tallest and most bestestest friends and we are more than smiling so hard that he's back, that our teeth might fall out of our heads. We talk about music, hip-hop lyrics, embracing what you like instead of saying what you hate! How about THAT? Yeah, we're adults. We talk weirdos at shows and ones that offer you their wives! HELLO! Matt talks about his recent trip to Korea and all the brown that followed. Matt reviews ANIMAL SONG and more. It's such a good episode you'll probably order new jeans online while you're listening. 

Direct download: YMH_128.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

What happens when a man that's been around sits down with you and just...starts talking? You open up in ways you never thought you would. This episode had some sort of plan before we started, but Greg Fitzsimmons AKA Fitzdog dropped a dime on us and we ended up being more vulnerable than ever before. This episode is your mommy's without their jeans - your naked mommies. Fitz really is hilarious and a fantastic guest/interviewer. This is one of the most engaging and interesting conversations we've ever had in the "Dome." Enjoy!

Direct download: YMH_130.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Mommies like when things smell good and we think you should join us in a world of wonderful spa smells to keep the bear inside calm and submissive. We prepare for diarrhea abroad. Is it time to just give in and expect it? A brown river will soon flow from us and we try to embrace it. Different people cope differently with stress - even your mommies. Both jeans open up about opening up and smokin trees, ya'll. What do you know about that life? Camping sucks. It's unanimous. Shake That Bear.

Direct download: YMH_129_NEW.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

And what is your name, little mommy? Tommy and Tina talk about names that must be difficult to live with, most of which are not suitable for print. The myth that West Coast "dry heat" is tolerable and not as bad as humid heat is addressed with passion! We revisit the legacy of Michael Jackson - greatest entertainer who also definitely molested kids and we share audio about him that states that Michael also "did some dancing." We Fill It Up and Seal It Shut with super heroes and Sci-Fi characters, we explore why in the world softcore porn exits and we finish things off with more Top Dog audio! Set it off in this muthafucka!!

Direct download: YMH64.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

The duo is back in the mommydome! Gastrointestinal issues are the launching point for this episode and this time it's serious (brown talk). They discuss last week's live show and all that came with it. Tom and Christina highly recommend taking a train to wherever you may be headed. They share their observations about the Gaslamp district in San Diego and how finding a TGI Friday's can sometimes be a good thing. Everything bothers older people is a topic that touches both deeply, and a very special Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut debuts.

Direct download: YMH60.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Mo "Mohan" Mandel also known as the Jewish Ghandi in the comedy world is our guest and he is 16 t*ts worth of fun! A prolific writer, Mandel tells us you can also be a successful writer if you REALLY want it, but if you REALLY want to be a great baseball player, well, that's too bad. Mo also tells us about his hilarious, Northern-California upbringing that included anal sex, anxiety, open relationship, and Mo's "indie rocker" faze. Mo also shares a great story about Jim Gaffigan throwing down in a comedy club - something we've all wanted to do (beat people, not tell a story about it). Dental Update, Julio Iglesias and more! Don't act like yo bootie fat if it isn't!!

Direct download: YMH_132.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Ohhhh jeans, your jeans, how bright they are to have more jeans like mine! If you make it to 100 years of age chances are you'll wish you had some d**k or p***y, but will you have the courage to say that? One 100 year old lady made it clear that that's the only thing on her mind and it's glorious! Lucky for all of us the great TOP DOG joins us again and this may be his ALL-TIME greatest appearance. What begins as a discussion about public restrooms and which airports are the best to dump in soon becomes a discussion about the effects of war - and the thrill of killing the enemy. Top Dog talks about the bond formed from being in combat with one's fellow man and the joy of finding another man's head blown off. It's amazing to the 10th degree! No Loose Jeans Allowed!

Direct download: YMH_134.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Make Fitness! It's essential to a long life and having big arms. We talkin 22's, son! Whatchu know bout that? Tommy and Tina are working hard at being champs even though it sucks. We FINALLY resolve the butthole icecube debacle and it's pretty ramsted. Plus you can suck your momma. But we have even bigger news and that is that BRACE is back! Yeah, more Brace philosophy, more Brace juice and we address the question you've all been wanting to ask - DID BRACE TAKE "COOKIN IT" FROM THE MOMMY DOME?????? You'll just have to listen to find out. Suck your momma!!

Direct download: YMH_135.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

Oh my my, what a treat do we have for you. Fantastic, funny, a true delight - Mrs. Catherine Reitman joins us in the Mommy Dome. An old comrade of Tom's, Catherine fits right in like she's been in 1000 times. We get into Downton Abbey and oh heavens my is it simply delightful to converse with someone who appreciates all of Mr. Fellowes work. We discuss mommyhood (real), conflict, childhood, passive aggressive/sarcastic parents - yeah, real interesting, kid. Catherine shares what it's like to grow up in a wildly succesful family, but not turn out to be a huge a**hole - what's the secret? Listen and find out! Lots of Hungarian heritage in this one - BAZMEG!! 

Direct download: YMH_133.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 8:00pm EST

So many treats in this one. 

Man Frandisco is no joke. We gots stuff on fleek, dirty shares, porn stories, racist neighbors and brows that will be there a LONG TIME (not so much on Fleek, boo). 

 

Get at me. 

Direct download: YMH_285.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:13am EST

When you're sitting in a meeting it's nice when someone brings you a coffee or farts loudly in to a microphone. It's funny. It just is. 

What's not funny? Stepping in dog doo-doo at 4:30 in the AM, tracking it into bed and then realizing your sleeping in poo. It's awful. 

We got that new fire for you (hip kid slang) and we break down the "secret enemy." Is there one in your life?

Grandma has pipes and sings about that Coco and a black dude yells a LOT at a white dude to wipe that s**t down (his car). 

Plus Tina's voicemails are getting crazier and we think we have a plausible theory about them. We also play a classic bit from an oldie but goodie. 

Can you believe Tina takes Brown in to the shower?!?!?!?!

Direct download: YMH_284.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:07am EST

You should make stuff and then, cause you're good at stuff, you can sell that stuff or plant a vegetable tree. 

Also, food is good. 

Jeans, you need to read. It's helpful for your mind to grow and also to expand your vocabulary so that you don't sound like such a dumbs**t. 

We have reviews for the REAL MAN from the Mommies and these joints are on FLEEK!

Plus Tina peed a frightening color. Was it murder?! When Tom/Mom posts a fart video do you realize how arrogant you have to be to question its authenticity. We clear the air (well, we cloud it first). 

If you think Dad Mouth is bad, wait til you smell what Mom's got cookin in her den. (It's pretty greezy). 

And a new phone number is full of mysterious messages. Give em a listen!

Direct download: YMH_283.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 9:00pm EST

Powerful.

Today we wear our strength jeans as the leader in podcasting/comedy/fitness and fighting, our Godfather, Joe Rogan finally joins the Moms.

We hit it all: The philosophy behind giving, farting, teeth, Tom or Black and what it takes to become A REAL MAN.

Joe weighs in on it all, from Biggie vs Beatles to the OG Would You Rather. This is an episode you're going to love and wear around as you collect denim for the long winter. 

 

Direct download: Rogan_YMH.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:16am EST

Sweet, loving, kissy-faced jeans. That's what those Valentimes are all about. We brought our love to the Ice House for a live episode with a fiery, sexy crowd. This was honestly one of the best times we've ever had live. It's like all our collective jeans are getting tighter. 

We give you the goods here, Chocolate anuses, brows on fleek, all kinds of words that the kids are saying now. Plus we have a sing-along and an orignal song debuts! We got dad jokes and sex sounds and a whole lot more. 

We love you, Jeans. We really do. 

Direct download: VALENTIME_YMH.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 4:12am EST

It's not bad to consider that if you're not good at something then you should quit! And if you don't quit then hopefully Eric Kelly will appear at the thing you're not good at and make fun of you. On camera. Shout out to all the little mommies that are down for the git down! We give you a proper salute. The live show was the Jimmy Jam and you the man, man. Sometimes when people who love each other eat together, they also end up blowing burp wind on each other (or just one way). The C-word is a fun word. Stop being so sensitive, you stupid C-word. We wear are JEANS so high for YOU!!!

Direct download: YMH_192.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:00pm EST

Pull your jeans up, this is a good one! Kettle bell enthusiast, horseback riding instructor, competitive dancer and comedian/actor Bryan Callen steps into the Mommy Dome. He is well read and easy on the eyes. Sure he has a narrow waist line, but also his eyes are intoxicating. We cover way too much to write about in this endless space. Sociopaths, meditation, addiction, teeth and so much more. Stand up is the best thing is one of the main things we took away from this and that makes us happy. This ep has great WYR, Tom or Black and conversation that is so fun you'll be weaving new denim for yourself by the days end. JEANS UNIT!

Direct download: YMH_194.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:00pm EST

King A** Ripper has met his match! We ambush Tommy's cousin Jeanette into sitting down in our studio and lettin' em rip and boy does she ever. No, she's not the fart queen, but she is the Prime Minister of Belching. After some poking and pleading she finally and frequently shares her gift with the world. This episode is an instant classic. It has family, filth, WYR, Tom or Black, D**K Detectives, and more. We try to horrify Cousin Jeanette and I think we did. Mission accomplished. 

Direct download: YMH_193.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:00pm EST

If you're gay I challenge you to up your game. Listen to the gayest man that has ever lived and see if you can top him, if even, for a moment. When ladies OR guys can't control the joy they feel when they taste man yogurt in their mouth are you buying it? We kind of disagree on this point. I mean clearly people LOVE it. The drunkest man ever is revisited and it's undeniable - he's a huge fan of our show. You know what I'm sayin, you gotta gun yoself, you know I'm sayin? Yes, sir, we do. Do we have an impromptu WOULD YOU RATHER that is so awful you might not answer? Yup. Nancy Grace is a lying turd, but maybe pot does make you kill??? David Lee Roth and Flocka rock out for you. 

Direct download: YMH_191.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:00pm EST

Andy Erikson AKA Ernie AKA "Can I get a ride?" is in the building (the Mommy Dome). A former police officer, Andy is no nonsense when it comes to enforcing rules and eating snacks. If you don't know why you suck stuff are you supposed to? Maybe you're a suck puppet. That's it. That's your role in life. Why do black people say hair-on instead of heroin? We go DEEP this episode. Both ladies have had multiple men pull pud in front of them and they happily ELABORATE. Is Which Is Mike Singletary back????? Pull your jeans up and find out! What gift will Andy bring Tom in Tacoma? Check back in a month to find out. 

Direct download: YMH_197.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:00pm EST

HONESTLY, we feel like you're going to leave this episode like, "Whoa, I'm proud of myself." Thanks to you, the dedicated little mommy that could, we have managed to land an all-time favorite and MY OH MY did we have fun. Adult superstar, Juelz Ventura is as laid back and fun as she is sexy and full of drool (we'll let her explain). We get to ask everything we've ever wanted to ask to someone who does the dirty on camera and we get answers that you won't be able to wrap your loose vagina around. Juelz is game for anything and shares the inside scoop that we've been yearning for. Oh yeah, when we finally get to the clip that you all love, well, it's magic. This episode has heart, laughs, boobs and honestly, what else could you want? 

Direct download: YMH_188.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:00pm EST

Great news! Dennis Rodman isn't retarded. That is, of course, according to Dennis Rodman. He's just really, really drunk and he wishes he had been alive many years ago, to befriend Hitler, the often-lambasted and widely "misunderstood" former German leader. But we've got to be honest. We're not really buying the drunk thing. Drunks, well, sound different - like Orson Welles! MUAAAAHAAAHHHHHHH, the French Champagne, blllllahhhhhhh! Stevie Wonder is a world treasure. He should maybe cut his braids. All dudes who play ball should cut their dreads. ALL. Some of our favorite artists MUST be horrible people, but not you, Stevie. We play some old Top Dog and Charo clips just because we love you. 

Direct download: YMH_187.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:00pm EST

This episode is very CHILDISH in the way that we make fun of other living people. We hope you are okay with that. Former NBA player and current mentally retarded person, Dennis Rodman is, well, definitely not the best at speaking outloud. He's in North Korea and he is apparently mumbling his way back. Why are there no more PSA's? Did we solve everything for kids and now they no longer need warnings? Lets bring them back and make them lamer than ever. Fire, kid touchers and drugs are still around so how about we be adults again and start making bad commericals about them for the children, yo. We learned that Kim Jong-Un is a huge fan of the show, but we are not so sure about going over there to do a live show. Something about that guy (City Connection). The mommies are eating healthy and the brown is falling out of us! You will enjoy this show or you will spend the next 15 years in our fart labor camp. 

Direct download: YMH_186_Fixed.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:00pm EST

Jeezy is short for Jizzles - that's a little known fact we made up. As the new year gets rolling we want you to stay POSITIVE. We encourage you to reaffirm positive thoughts about yourself with yourself. You're smart! You're good! You listen to the best podcast! You wear your jeans super high! You idn't greezy! We get to the bottom of the Dog's T**S expression and it really is something else, mate! THEO joins us on the show to share his last few days and also to talk about his favorite vice (not healthy). Who better to get your year rolling than the one and only TOP DOG. He guides you on your brown pathway and gives insight on more than just wiping (sorry Puerto Ricans). This ep is the jeans machine. Sharkeisha, YES!

Direct download: YMH_185.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:00pm EST

Seems like it's pretty much settled - TOMMY IS THE MAIN MOMMY. Episode 19 is revisited and the evidence is CLEAR. Christina is filing appeals, but we doubt there's a judge in the land that will grant her another hearing. We debate this at length and allow you to decide. You went CRAZY over the appearance of Juelz Ventura on episode 188 and we celebrate the triumph. Yes, we're proud of ourselves. What's scarier than a man dressed as a female DOLL? We vote nothing. It is absolutely terrifying. A new show is coming out about it and we are mortified and eager to watch it. Homeless people singing the hits is something that we hope takes off! They really can't sing, but we want it to never end. DENIM NEVER ENDS.

Direct download: YMH_189.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:00pm EST

Every animal can get diarrhea, but why did that animal get that loose brown? Let's talk about it. Top Dog and Charo get a surprise phone call about Tom's sex education class memory. Was there a VERY out-of-line teacher? Hmmmmm. Did Top Dog make big BROWN on his latest cruise? We finished Breaking Bad Farts and we tip our collective hat to all the participants. It's a masterpiece and we miss it already. Pop music is for the stupid by the slightly less stupid. This isn't an attempt to be controversial. We actually have proof. If English is your first language and you make Dennis Rodman sound like Prince William what would be your next move? These JEAN were made for talking (to your mom). 

Direct download: YMH_190.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:00pm EST

If you're Irish or Scottish and angry we love you and can't understand a word. Please explain how we share the same language. We revisit the sexy as hell, you know what I'm sayin guy or girl or transitioning girl to guy or something else. All we're sure of is that it breathes like Biggie Smalls. The homeless gay man who has sex with a ghost is also fully explored and we rarely say this, but his love for the love he receives is inspiring. Tina and Tommy can't agree on Tinder. Is it Grinder for straight people or is it for real love?

Direct download: YMH_195.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:00pm EST

I've been wanting to see what's in those Jeans for a long time! Oh, get your dirty mind out of my jeans. Cab drivers are hot and we all want a piece of them. Our favorite part about riding around with cabbies is their smell but also their cleanliness and also listening to their nice music and also when they ignore our requests. Yeah, that's about it. Shakey Jeans is gone, but who will replace him? Hopefully someone with a more debilitating condition. Is the NFL ready for a gay player? What if an entire team were gay and amazingly talented? We pray for this. Tom and Tina talk about their new business idea - which involves juice and dudes. We got Brown Talk, a NEW release from the King (A** Ripper), a wanna-be tough guy and MORE! 

Direct download: YMH_196.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:00pm EST

No more juice for the Main Mommy. Tommy drank something gnarly which made fluids come out of all of his holes - which delayed today's ep. Buns is farting and puking and sweating, but he's still here for you. What if you have no teeth, but you love certain sex acts? You shouldn't hide in shame, you should make songs about it. Leon Lewis knows what we're talkin' bout! Oasis was one of the biggest bands in the world at one point and then it all fell apart. Now, former guitarist Noel Gallagher hates all of the videos they made and so much more about himself and the audio about it is priceless. Plus your Would You Rather's and more!

Direct download: YMH_198.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:00pm EST

We are the Mommies 24 - 7, baby. Whatever you done heard, you can forget that. We are who we are and that's that! When Carla goes to Wendy(sic) or Burger King she doesn't get the respect she is owed (MacDonald's(sic) doesn't do her like that). Who is the real leader of sayin "you know what I'm sayin?" Do you know what we're asking here? If you have a whole weight, keep going. Make yourself very, very fat and then make videos and money. Your dreams can be your reality! Plus you know we got that JJ Fish joint you been dying to hear. Get those jeans on and PULL THEM UP. "No, you have a good muthaf***in' night." - Carla

Direct download: YMH_199_rd2.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 7:00pm EST

Hey there dirty jeans! Wipe your face cause it's covered in vaginal juices and secretions. 

If you have OCD we hope you get better, but in the mean time we'll laugh at you. 

Tina has brows on Fleek! Peep them all at Damone Roberts. Plus Tommy is breaking down. Can you make that dude rest?

You thought XXplosive was a crazy track? Check out this Too Short classic. We got Brown Talk, Vocal Fry, White Big Words, Plies Talk and more!

Wash your filthy jeans, will you!?!

Direct download: YMH_280.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 4:31pm EST

You figure it out. 

Direct download: YMH_279.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:03am EST

Big. Dumb. Animal. Those words don't just describe our guest Matt Braunger perfectly. They're also the name of his new 1 hour special (but without the periods). 

Always welcome inside the Mommy Dome, Braunger is like a son to us. We not only talk about his big special we cover the hidden C**T in Harry Potter (Tommy found it), and what in the world Plies was talking about, Ya feel me? This episode is just like hanging out in the bathroom with your buddy. You're gonna love it. 

Who won the last Fill Her Up? We have results! And this edition of Tom or White is pure White Knowledge testing - how much do you know!?

 

Direct download: YMH_278.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:13pm EST

Mind if we burp? After Chipotle? And suckin stuff?

Well we've got that and more for you. Here's something we'd like to know - what exactly is Plies saying? We try to solve the mysteries of this modern day philosopher. 

Plus does a communist from a small island have the tools to identify a sex toy? We have differing opinions on this one. Will you side with the right Mommy!?

Maybe if you're having troubles motivating yourself you keep it to yourself OR just go ahead and post every day how everyone is out to get you and everything is a battle and FIGHT! Fight things and people that aren't even there. That seems awfully stable of you. 

You have the Jeans, you just gotta learn how to wear them. 

Direct download: YMH_277.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:04am EST

J-J-J-J-Jeans Unit!

This is a very special episode. In addition to being packed with content and the introduction of a new, amazing caller, we here at Your Mom's House are very proud to announce that the Main Mommy, Christina Pazsitzky (PaJeanSky) has released a NEW album!

Man of the Year is Christina's second album and is now available everywhere. Be sure to get a copy so that her jeans reach higher, tigher levels!

Plus the moms get down and talk about Tommy letting Christina do (and say) dumb things. Is it his fault?!? Tina worked out HARD this week. Is cross training fitness not a match for her?

Tommy is in LOVE with another crime show. This one is extra murdery and we break it down for you. Plus "Uncle Bill" whom we have been wanting to have on the show for years is finally here. All we can say about that is - you're not ready. 

DENIM!

Direct download: YMH_276.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:04am EST

Oh jeans it's here! Your first NEW momisode of the NEW year.

This one really delivers. Maybe it's us, maybe it's these jeans. We give you modern day philosopher, Plies. Tina has trouble deciphering his sounds, but once she gets it, she GETS it. 

Plus we try to figure out what's up with Austin Uber drivers and all the different browns we had there. 

Is there anything Steven Seagal doesn't know? Well, uh, that's a trick question. We jam out to a song that'll blow your mind. CP was inspired and now you'll be too.

Raise a pair of pants up for this one!

 

Direct download: YMH_275.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:35am EST

What is love? When you've been someone long enough that you can say, "That's stupid of you," and then they respond, "Then I'm stupid. Let me be stupid!" That's true love. It's real contempt under a thin layer of decency that says, "I know I have to live with you." 

When people have been together more than 50 years it can be quite colorfully spoken. 

A fun game you can play with your significant other is ask strangers how old they think your partner is and then brace yourself when they (hopefully) guess FAR older. It's a real HOOT.

Plus Tom hung out with an older man in a sauna. Did it get weird? Well, they covered cannibalism, prostitution and drugs. So it gets fun. 

The brown detectives may have solved an age old mystery. Maybe it will prevent future loose stools. We'll see.

Jeans, this is the final episode of 2014. Let's promise each other one thing, next year, even HIGHER!

Direct download: YMH_274.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 9:00pm EST

It's that time of year again - Baby Jesus has been born and there are great songs and hopefully wonderful gifts unless you're poor (yuck). 

We, as always, give back to the little Mommies. And this time we really deliver. Unwrap the paper and take in some Shane Lee. That's right the internet sensation who "teaches" vocal lessons is now in the DOME!

He does impressions, requests and, well, whatever he feels like saying. It's awesome and it's here. Plus your two mothers have some wonderful clips including NEW (is that possible) talents that Steven Segal has - like God? (Actually, YES). 

And what's a better gift than breakin down some brown with Top Dog. Rejoice!

Direct download: YMH_273.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:41am EST

A man's desire to call out to a woman is so strong that it can overwhelm his own mental illness. Literally, the pieces that are missing in his brain will come together for a moment if that moment means sexual release. 

Farts. This episode has them. From both mommies. Will you eat what we fart on?

Plus Garth meets Meeeh, meets more melodies. It's creepy, weird and wonderful all at the same time. Guys should cover their nipples, You BETTER wash your nuts and your other stinky parts (especially if you want someone going in there). 

And we talk family - and what is a reasonable amount of time to spend with them - Minutes?

Get your festive jeans on!

Direct download: YMH_272.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 9:30pm EST

Yooooo! If you spend time overseas be careful! You could get AIDS. From a towel. Especially if a lot of dudes drop their stuff in that towel, ya feel me?

Pat Robertson is a national treasure. While some look to him for spiritual leadership, we find him to have his finger on the pulse of what's funny and this guy is hilarious. 

Plus we have some new songs and we have to admit, they are DADGUM GOOD!

Can we teach you how to sing? Yes. BEATBOX? You betcha! AND we got that Chris Gaines music that you know you wanna hear. 

Would you mind pulling your jeans a little higher?

Direct download: YMH_271.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:03am EST

Are ya'll ready for some slick stuff? Cool stuff? NEAT stuff? What about RAW stuff? Well, you're gonna get it cause we're breaking down these walls between us and we like that!

Are you done wiping the vomit from the rim of your mouth? Good. Now get ready to puke again when Garth Brooks speaks and is genuine about "having a conversation" with you. 

We get "Country" on this one, but it isn't all bad. We actually like some of your backwoods, incestuous anthems.

Plus Theo must face the fact that he's named after an accused serial rapists TV son. And that ain't gonna fly, Jack! We must give him a NEW name OR can we simply call him by his BIRTH NAME?!?! You mean he has one? Yup. 

This episode is LOADED. Jeans UP!!

 

Direct download: YMH_270.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:43am EST

Is your baby's mama here? You bet. Would you like to meet him? You should. You know, for the children.

If you're trying to take it all the way down your throat we have expert advice that's gonna set you straight (don't take it so far).

Plus a UK coach can drop that fire the same way Coach Ice does - only it sounds sweeter. 

Some news reports are silly and some make you ask What The F*** Are We Doing Here? And then sometimes someone makes a song about it that's worthy of multiple replays. 

Plus we have the Full Charge droppin sweet science on everything including Puddin Pops and Spanish Fly, Rude and Theo too. Oh, Cosby.

Direct download: YMH_FULL_CHARGE.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:40am EST

Duncan Trussell is here! You may know Duncan "Truffles" as the guy who has sex with pigs for laughs, but he's more than that!

D-Truss is our friend, a fellow podcaster and comedian, this sweet and enlightened man is here shining his radiance on us in a way only he can do. 

We examine #TEAMLITTLED**K and what it means to breathe thru the bump in your baby head with the Smith siblings. 

Plus Duncan takes us down the path of goodness. He points us and hopefully you towards the light with ideas and philosophies that are from a higher power, but simplified in a way that likens them to your poo covered B-hole. 

Get your denim space suit on, we're leaving the Stratosphere on this one!

Direct download: YMH_DUNCAN.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 5:38pm EST

Jeans Unit Mount Up! This is it. The mountain top of YMH. We give you some Portland show and Chicargo show (Seattle was AWESOME BTW, just not as good audio quality).

We get into prison talk, break down some drunk talk, sing POP, Braxton songs, Dental Updates, Would You Rather's, Fill Her Ups and soooo much more! 

This is the SUPER SHOW episode of Super Shows. Plus a special guest that's gonna knock your jeans right off!!

Direct download: Live_Portland_Chicago.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:02am EST

It's On, JEANS! Once a week shows are back and here's the first one. 

We help Christina's old college BF find a lady as he is now Sinnnnnnnglllllleeee again. Would you like to date him? It's an option. 

Tommy is busy writing songs that are so good, he doesn't even name them. He just gives them to the Universe. Will he collaborate with the Braxton's? We're WORKING ON IT!

Go On, Gurl is a pretty good movie, but you'll want pizza with lots of pepperoni on it - Just a Heads up. 

If you're white, just be respectful to cops. Seriously, what's your problem? 

Plus don't use your hands to grab communal food, dumb dumb. 

POP, Hold it down some more. 

Direct download: YHM_266.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

Geoff Tate is Late! It's okay. He got here and everything is fine now. Happy HallowJeans, everyone. We hope you're playing it safe and not staying out too late. Also, kids love pennies and bullets so give them away!

Tate is LONG overdue in the MOMMY DOME, but thankfully he's here and you're about to get the full scoop on DENIM ON DENIM + HOT DOGS and GATORADE + also CHEERS. 

Geoff is a fantastic comic, truly one of the best and he's a breeze to hang with. Always funny and low maintenance. This man is our type of guy. You get the Dental Update, the D**k Detectives and more!

Drops galore on this one! Pull those M7Z's up, Jeans!

Direct download: YMH_265.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:23am EST

Oh farts. Do you have a special fart box for your partner to sit in a face your release valve?

Get One!

These jeans have a question are Smart for shopping somewhere, but then are all sales Final? Lets discuss. 

The Mommies are on Tru TV's How To Be A Grown Up and we let you in behind the curtain. Want in?

Plus Top Dog talks farts, poops AND Killing in a call for the ages!

Direct download: YMH_264.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:39am EST

Ba Booey Cha Say-O Muh B-hole!! Rejoice, we have THE B-hole of all holes with us, it's Chad Daniels, mommy!

The same way a serial killer knows that he will kill after he locks in and stalks his victim, sometimes for months, we knew that it would be a blast hangin' with the Chad Man!

We listen to a woman transform into a man or is it the other way? Who cares. Someone else out there is having a lot of orgasms and this time it isn't a man! Want some?

Plus there are plenty of big words and tales of slander and redemption. Chad Daniels is your step mom whether you like it or not. Jeans are Forever

Direct download: YMH_263_CHAD.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

If you gonna hate then suck our stuff! Yeah, dawg. 

Tommy looks strong in his gold and purple tank top and Stella Grooves noticed at Crate & Barrell - how will Christina respond?!?

Which Braxton are you today? It's fun way to start the day to break down which of the Braxton sisters you're feeling like. Plus we sing the Braxton Values theme song. Do we sing perfectly? Eventually, yes. 

Calling all cars! Calling all cars! We have denim emergency! Peter Caine is on the phone. You did not misunderstand - PETER CAINE is on the phone. Get ready to clear the air OR stir it up? Listen and find out the real story behind Caine and his madness.

Direct download: YMH_262.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

Hope there are still no carnists listening to our show, but if there are, stop now. Otherwise picture Tommy's tongue licking the air and put whatever you want there. Also, listen to songs about it. 

Did you spend time with your father lately? Did he orgasm in front of you? We sure hope so. Tommy's dad, Top Dog, is back with some great advice on, you guessed it, some BROWN TALK.

We have an original song that's gonna blow your jeans off, plus some Asian talk that sounds eerily familiar. Paging Sharkeisha - Honey are you there?!?

If you loosen your jeans for this episode you'll never forgive yourself. 

Direct download: YMH_261.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

Get your dad ready to orgasm - it's LIVE from Man Fran Disco (San Francisco)!

Direct download: SF_YMH_OCT.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:46am EST

This episode is for Vegan's only!! Carnists are not allowed to listen. SORRY! 

Now that it's only us, picture Tommy kissing your thighs. Feel better? GOOOOOOD.

Why do people over 50 refuse to drink water? Water is in us and everywhere around us. Maybe they are just wiser and know that nothing satisfies your bodies cravings for hydration and nutrients like Diet Coke. It tastes good and it's good for you. Especially post-workout. 

Do you remember your father's funeral? How many orgasms did you have staring at his corpse? We found someone that may have been more aroused than you and it's ALL TIME CLASSIC MOM mode already. Get ready to cry from joy and from your relentless orgasms on this one!

Direct download: YMH_259.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

POP! Pimp Squad for life, baby! If you can't see, then that should be your story and you should always say that no matter who asks you what. You know what we're sayin, you feel us, know what we're talking about?

 

Kentucky Jeans and Momlando Jeans were worn this weekend - get the breakdown, Gawd.

Plus Tina explains what that drop about God and blessing is all about. Do you watch comedy? Does it ever upset you. Please blog and share in detail how you feel and your disappointment about it. Even if you laughed, somewhere inside you there is surely something to complain about. 

And we have a song that we can only WISH came from a listener - Maybe it did???

Direct download: YMH_258.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:00am EST

Ohhhh Jeans! We're Back! Tommy pulled up his sick, barking jeans and coughs and blows his nose throughout the show just to remind you that he sacrifices so much for her. 

Tina is VERY surprised to hear a series of NEW drops in her honor! Can you guess what they are? They are blessed indeed. 

Be sure to relax on this one as the smooth sounds of Crapzo and Manwelle and White Tigress penetrate your soul - choose whichever one best suits your needs. 

Plus we give you the 411 on the Segura Family Cruise. What's that? Were family genitals shared? Mmmm-hmmm.

Plus some WOULD YOU RATHERS and more!

Direct download: YMH_257.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

Well, we were about to do a new episode but then Tommy went off and got sick like a big, ol dumb bear. Now he's on bed rest and we have to delay our return for another day. 

Please enjoy this Classic episode which has the origins of F****n Camp! among other Tourettes Classics!

This is high quality denim we have here. 

Direct download: Classic_YMH_43.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:03am EST

Oh meowmy, does she miss us? Our vacation is almost over, but we didn't forget about you. Here's one more classic pair of jeans for you and you guessed it, it's amazing. 

Once again, this episode features Top Dog and BROWN and it's epic. We hope you took care of your teeth while we were gone. We're going to check each of your toothbrushes to make sure of it, Theo.

Direct download: Classic_63.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:30am EST

Oh yeah, Jeans. It's time for more of those Classic Jeans. This is that bespoke denim you can't find in the stores. 

This very special episode captures one of the greatest moments in podcasting history - Top Dog and brown come together in REAL TIME. 

Buckle Up, you ain't ready. 

Direct download: Classic_62.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:30am EST

Reach into the closet, up onto that top shelf. Further, no further. Yeah, those nice worn in jeans are there. Put them on and pull them up.

While the moms are on vacation we give you an oldie but goodie. Some of the origins of Mommycode are deep within this episode. Listen and enjoy.

Direct download: Classic_46.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:03am EST

Shots Fired!!!

If you're down in the 954 or the 305 and you see a half naked white dude singing and dancing shakin' that thang - don't worry, that's Rihanna.

The elephant in the room must be addressed - Peter Caine has called the MAIN MOMS out! Lord only knows what will happen next, but Peter Caine is on the watch list. Should he worry about Tina and Tommy? No. The little Mommy's? Probably. Theo? You Bet. You can't just talk s**t like that and not expect bad things to happen. 

As Theo has always said, "Don't start nuttin, won't be nuttin." 

Plus Tommy has returned from City Connection and he can't wait to go back. He's got that international jeans fever!

Direct download: YMH_256.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:48am EST

Please don't talk, please don't touch my service dog! Don't talk to my dog, the dog is being good. You're getting the dog in trouble, you di@k! Maybe Peter Caine is right???

Tom's in Hong Kong aka "City Connection" right now. He had a real nice hair cut before he left and we talk about it. Christina admits to seeing the same hairdresser since 1998, but he's awesome so don't sweat it. 

Cops are still all fu$%in bald and s$it. We discuss nightmare jobs for us personally. Being nocturnal is horrible.

COPS is our new favorite show. It's fun to watch people who cook meth getting arrested. And you should always look at the positive aspects of your meth cooking spouse. Christina gets punished for using her BIG WORDS in the last episode...

Aunty Fee takes the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. 

Direct download: YMH_255.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:06am EST

When Tom picks the opening clips, it's usually porn. But this porn clip is "revolutionary" according to Tom. We deconstruct Nicki Minaj's "Anaconda". Both versions, fart and original. We also explore "the cowboy hip hop" and real "hip hop" dancing.  The cargo pant debate rages on! We look forward to Tom's upcoming Asian dumps. Theo hears his latest song and comes on the show to discuss his royalty agreement. Wendy's has a neat corporate training song. 

Direct download: YMH_254.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:24am EST

Whenever you see a microphone anywhere that is an opportunity. The possibility now exists that you can grab that mic and you can fart in it. This is how we even the playing field in life. A homeless man and a Greek billionaire suddenly become the same living being - a mic farter. 

King A** Ripper is an international treasure for a reason. He seizes the opportunities that others ignore. He never, EVER passes on the chance to drop heat for the rest of us. Thank you Hairy N Gross Glutton. You inspire us all. International super star Nicki Minaj got the hint (okay it wasn't her) and now has a real hit on her hands!

Plus Theo heard the song that all the Mommy's are talking about and, you guessed it, he wants his cut. Tina tries to reason with him, but there's no taking the hood out of this pooch. 

Tina is a big NERD and wears undies during a massage (MOMSSAGE). Are you the same type of NERD that she is? If you're a flight attendant please keep the jokes inside of your head. You're the WORST!

And finally Half Ounce drops some crazy Ya know what I'm talkin about, ya feel me, ya know what I mean? And Tina thinks he has some BIG WORDS too!

Direct download: YMH_253_E.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:30am EST

Don't yank your snot in another seaman's towel! It's rude and disgusting and now we got two guys on Night Watch to make sure no one else does it, Master Seargent.

Little Doggy Jeans AKA Feefo AKA Theo Huxtable AKA The Hardest playa on the block ate tin foil. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that he is not a "Very smart person." He is, in fact, a dog. In this, The "Forgotten "Episode" we recap how our dog scared us and made us rush all over the city worried sick about our sick dog. We were so worried that we forgot to upload this ep in our mad rush to catch a flight.

Desperate salesmen are like friends - They're the WORST!!! 

Plus we talk about LEASE-A-CAR Acting Studios, Dental Updates and more. We'll never forget our Jeans behind again! 

Direct download: YMH_252.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:18am EST

If you do the ALS Ice Bucket challenge make sure you suffer thru it, so says the unofficial spokesman of the ALS Foundation. 

We wear our jeans the highest and we hope you appreciate that. Did you remember that cops are bald and s**t? They're bald, man. They're f****n bald. Do we have a song about that? Yup. 

Plus Tommy ate a Joey Diaz edible again and, you guessed it, panic, fear and unplanned detours took place. When Tina reads their text exchange you might have to rewind it and hear it again. 

Is the Cargo Shorts debate finally resolved?!?! NO. You, the little mommy can't decide and neither can we. Be The JEANS!

Direct download: YMH_251.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:18am EST

How's your hook set? BOOM! Make it pop. 

Do you know how to pitch a show in Hollywood? We have the insight for you so that you can have a fun, depressing time like we do. There's a big, significant difference between a hard, bloated belly and a soft, hanging gut. We BREAK IT DOWN!

You, the little mommy weighs in on the Cargo shorts/D**k Detective debate and we gotta tell you, the Mommy's are split! That's right, the debate continues!!!

We got more love for Mike Tyson and we revisit King A** Ripper and his library of artwork (fart work). 

Plus Tina's dad (from the 18th Street Gang) talk about how cops are like, F***in bald, man!

 

Direct download: YMH_250.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:36am EST

When you can't write a song, just sing what you're actually seeing or holding the moment that you open your mouth. That way you can belt out a total piece of trash, just like you were meant to. Turn up the volume! Listen to us talk about stuff and play audio clips! See?

Plus Tommy met Mike Tyson. What? Yup. And it's a pretty crazy story. Turns out the former champ is a big fan of streaming content. 

Do Cargo shorts make that bulge even BIGGER? The mommy's debate and invite you to weigh in with your d**k knowledge. Give us your best shot, little jeans.

And OMG Maria is FIRED UP. Was it service? Yes. Was it Starbucks? No. Is a race/ethnicity mentioned? You bet!

Pull em up!

Direct download: YMH_249.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:44am EST

It's for the kids, man. The treats are for the kids and YMH is for the kids. If your kids don't already listen to this show, please change that. 

We can't stand watching Americans look for real estate abroad. It's like listening to a child question how the science works - a lot of questions and sometimes the SAME ones. Over and over and over. 

We have a DENTAL UPDATE from the NEWS - Oh my. Floss your denticles, hahahahaha.

More bummer white people movies, bad music, DMX redeems himself and lot more. 

 

We DON'T LIKE SALT WATER BREEZES!!!

Direct download: YMH_248.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:55am EST

Sharkeisha, What??? We got a new jam for you.

 

Super talented comic/model Nick Youssef has an album out and now we can all rejoice! We've been long time fans of young Youssef and now you will be too. Make sure to get his debut, Stop Not Owning This. 

Peter Caine is back at it - this time it's about your dog's leash and issues!

Plus we introduce Nick to the idea of the C*mdog that will one day live in our backyard. 

We cover The Comedy Store, Nick's youth and a whole LOT more. Nick is a total honorary mommy and will definitely be back weaving denim with us soon. 

Direct download: YMH_247_Youseff.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:00pm EST

These are the jeans you dream about. The ones we have on are made for sitting, talking, relaxing and of course, celebrating Eat A Booty Day. Thanks to Trick Daddy we can all celebrate together.

Please reach out to him on twitter @305Mayor and ask him to sell us the Eat A Booty Shirts. 

Speaking of clothes, has Tommy joined a gang? His new shorts and shirts will have saying, "Sup Homie! Sun Valley Gang for life homie!" Plus we investigate did a flight attendant have their EYES on Tommy Mommy's junk as he slept?!?! Let's break it down!

The mommies ate some BAD food back to back and meals and their fart makers paid the price. BK plus eggs and pancakes make you feel good.

Tina jeans did some serious fitness and then slept for 16 hours. Will she keep this new lifestyle choice up?

 

REAL TALK, Bummer White people movies and more!

 

Direct download: YMH_246.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:10am EST

You, the little Mommy, asked. We, The MAIN MOMMY'S, answered and Ms Pat is here! Ms Pat is one of a kind and we LOVE her. While she's lived the kind of life that would make a lot of us bitter, Ms Pat is the opposite. She engaging, full of life and absolutely hilarious. 

We get the inside scoop on what has made Ms Pat so funny and such a saavy hustler. Just listen and you'll be saying "I'm a ol' drug dealer" in no time. 

Epic stories, DMX audio and a Tom OR Black for the ages. Who wins this one?!? Pull your jeans up and listen.

Direct download: Ms_Pat_YMH_245.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:31am EST

Jeff Richards is a (Muscle) bitch! You'll get it soon enough. We have the former Mad TV and SNL star in the mommy dome. 

This episode has it all: show biz stories, life lessons, spot on impressions and something we are now HUGE fans of - the MUSIC of Jeff Richards. We are hooked like we're wearing a new pair of jeans or something.

Plus Dental News, breaking down 2 Live Crew (Tom's Beatles) lyrics, listener music and more. This is why we wear denim - episodes like this one.

 

Direct download: YMH_244_Jeff_Richards.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:20pm EST

SUP KANE!!! SUP TOM???? Yup. BDK is down with Buns and we get you the get down. Long story short, Kane is a chill dude and we hope to get him in the Dome soon. Have you heard or seen DMX ride a roller coaster. It's incredible and we share it with you. 

Did you that Tina Jeans and Sydney Castillo can SPIT BARS?!?!? You must take your eyes to the site and watch the REGULAR BODY video. We sense a Grammy over here. 

We go back to get SNOOSHI and our lady has a surprise for us (in her pants). Plus Tina proposes a new HGTV show for Tommy that combines his love of home shopping and masturbating!

We review why you're probably not married, ladies and we have some good info (you should probaby request big dongs more). 

What Ya'll Really Want!?!

Direct download: YMH_243.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:54am EST

We keeps it real here and we appreciate the realness, gnam sayin? Nothing kept our attention like one of the realest Reality shows ever, Breaking Bonaduce. Gretchen Bonaduce, the ex-wife of Danny B, is in the Mommy Dome and droppin knowledge on us. We talk about the total chaos that was encompassing their lives as this completely unplanned show was filmed and the self-destructive path that Danny was on. It's engaging, outrageous, hilarious and sad all at the same time. 

Get ready for a YMH EXCLUSIVE (Tailored Denim). This episode is an instant classic, plus we have a Steven Seagal nugget of wisdom to keep your eyes rolling.

Direct download: YMH_242_Gretchen.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:13am EST

Eat the booty, if you want to be in the gang! That's a philosophy the mommies can definitely support! Trick loves the kids, but he's also way into eating the booty. We acknowledge and honor his passion. Are you passionate about it too? Please do tell us. 

When the jeans step into the bedroom, it's full of hungry eyes and hardcore RAP! Tina knows her man likes beats and rhymes, so she's shifting her sensibilites and wooing her man with that BASS!

Are farts foreplay? We think it is even if you don't think it is - It's Only Smells...

There's only one group of people ruining the flowers in Elizabeth Park, do you know what type of gypsy we're referring to? Take a guess. 

You gots to feed a bitch!!!

Direct download: YMH_241.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 4:17am EST

Oh, Canada, you're such a nice place with really great denim and also you floss!

This is the Live podcast by which all future live shows will be judged. The Canadian Mommies are real and HARD F***IN CORE! Toronto is no joke, you know what we're sayin?

Tommy and Tina drop dreams on you! Who requested a T Bunz piledriver? Which race crawled up in Tina in her sleep-filled mind? We try to understand what people are sayin. Pretty sure that one of them is even too advanced for the most seasoned mom. Give it a shot, ketchup/mustard!

Can Britney Spears sing? We have evidence that suggests your opinion on her vocals has always been on point. Plus Aunty FeeFee drops knowledge thru music and Top Dog raises even his own brown bar! Remember, "It's Only Smells." 

Direct download: LIVE_FROM_TORONTO.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:34pm EST

Oh Jeans can you see, that America is the best and loudest place in the world! Can you tell when an A1 US of A person is around? Let's break it down!

If someone told you to Go F yourself, could you? Black Salami has something show the people who doubt that he can. WARNING, it's NSFHE - Not Safe For Human Eyes. 

How does God do a new thang if he's still doin the same thang?!?!?!

Momstralia/Australia speaks English...sort of. Can you understand this bloke?

We have Dental Updates all around plus more from our favorite Dog Trainer, Peter Caine. Things are getting weirder. Big Shouts to Ontario, Canada for all the love this past week. That's some real nice denim you guys have up there. This episode will make you wish your peepee was stuck in Budder.

Direct download: YMH_239.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:36am EST

It's your mom's house!

Direct download: YMH_238.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:59am EST

Hey YO!!!! What it do, Junior Boo Boo? It's so fun to make fun of family and we encourage you to PUSH THOSE LIMITS! If the elevator posts a weight limit, suggest to your mother/wife/son that they will break it - then point and laugh!

We Bro'd down hard in the Bro to celebrate the greatest birthday ever for Country Numero UNO. Hope you got down too or at least thanked us for being the best. 

Jeans In My C**T is STUCK in our heads and we hope it's in yours too. Care to hear it again? Good. 

Tina and Tommy are seriously in the TV BIZ now. Will a network pick up Tom Farts in a Jar or Dog D**K Afternoon? We sure hope so (they're really good ideas). 

One of our listeners actually worked for the mastermind behind Friday (not the movie) and Chinese Food (Is that also a movie?) and lets us in behind the curtain of his mediocrity. 

Direct download: YMH_237.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:03am EST

It's time to celebrate. America, either the land you're lucky enough to live in or lucky enough to wish you lived in is putting another candle in her cake. Show respect. Wear tighter, more form-fitting jeans.

You know how Theo does it - 24/7 and to honor our son and one of the hardest MF's out there, our boy now has his own gear. It's official. We're still working on the percentage split with him, but it's out there. 

We promise not to feed him vegan food. We really think Peter Caine would light us up if we did. 

We read your emails, play a NEW GOOD song - not a horrific song, and basically have a jolly, good time doing this episode. We love you, Lady America. Here's to you!

Direct download: YMH_236.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 5:35am EST

You guys are like salmon. You say you're more smarter, but ya'll are the stupidest mutherf***ers we have ever seen! Just kidding - we Love you! 

The Mommy Dome is happy to welcome Christina's fellow castmate from Funniest Wins, Mr. Sydney Castillo! Sydney can come back whenever he wants as he is a total JEANS MACHINE (AKA a Natural Fit). 

We break down the difference between Ft. Worth and Dallas, defend abusive coaches, Biggie vs Beatles, Dental Updates, OG WYR, plus the most epic TOM or BLACK ever!

You are not prepared for the good times wrapped up in the episode! Stay Social!

Direct download: YMH_235.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:01am EST

Take care of your rectum and its "situations" or get a Woolery-approved lubricant to stop the pools of blood. 

We can't stop the madness and the madness is in the form of music. MAKE IT STOP! Or don't? 

How come an itchy butt will just pop up out of nowhere? We break it down!

We're thinking of getting a (legal) slave - PLUS Dental Updates, a NEW Corporate song and more!

Direct download: YMH_234.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:20am EST

There are kids here so please SIT YOUR WHORE ASS DOWN! That's a pretty aggressive way to address a fellow passenger, but we all have our days. Chuck Woolery blames Canada and wants to take them down! Will you side with him?

Our bed is old and we are ready for a new one - where do you sleep, outside? On nails? Share your experience. 

Tina's fart game has been raised and the Mommies make a promise to stop droppin bombs - can they keep it?

REAL TALK - The Gypsies are back and White Trashier than ever. S**T just got way worser, ya'll. Will we ever eradicate them?

This episode is like a bag of chips going into a bowl. 

Direct download: YMH_233.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:53am EST

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme said the less than fully toothed lady. That's no way to get the joint passed over, boo. You gotta mind your manners!

White trash is a special breed of human and we like to think of them as the worst (and most entertaining) representation of our race. From West Virginian gypsies to your standard meth head, there's no shortage of awful when it comes to the White man. 

Biggie vs Beatles is no where near over. We read your emails as you side with one or the other - and you don't hold back! 

Plus dozens of awful songs have been pouring in. We bless your earholes with the sweet sounds of no talent. 

Top Dog is on the horn and he now wants to be an author. Won't you buy his book?

Direct download: YMH_232.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 4:04pm EST

What hurts on you? Your what, your what, your what? That's nice, lady! As the Great Italian pornographer, Rocco says, "You must have both the passion and the chemistry and the focus and not know when the end is here for it to go with what is there." Understand?

Peter Caine is our new hero. Don't you dare threaten him and don't EVER leave your dog with a friend. Friends are the worst.

Bad songs are evidently existence in abundance. Thank you for filling our inbox with them. Is the Biggie/Beatles debate over? Nope! Who do you side with, Tina's super white/super lame explanation or Tom's hard and black and super real argument? 

Gross sexual kinks are fascinating. Do you have one? Please share. And, you know what I'm sayin, we want that GENUINE "Gnam sayin" Know what we're saying?

Bossa Nova forever!

Direct download: YMH_231.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:24am EST

Body Talk, yo. What's your body say about you? Do you have towels? Partners? A LOT of time? Get your fitness on, God. 

Tina's not playin. She's doing Quadruplethons and she's sponsored by Chili and other premium fitness brands. 

We love working out in prison and prison movies too! Chopper and Bronson are doing it real big and with cool accents. 

More bad songs, DENTAL UPDATE, WYR and More!

Direct download: YMH_230.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:24am EST

The battle continues! What's the worst song we've ever heard? YOU GET TO DECIDE. Could it be about Ames, Iowa? Maybe. West Saint Paul? Possibly. Chinese Food? Hey, what's happening here? Luckily for you, it's all terrible. 

Horses are NOT WELCOME in the Mommy Dome. Get your glue machine out of our faces. Smelly, demon dwellers. 

Vietnamese seems like a difficult language. Now try it with a gun to your head. We make it easy!!!

Plus we have to navigate how to say a very, um, difficult name to pronounce. 

Direct download: YMH_229.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:45am EST

When you bark like a dog, you should BARK LIKE A REAL ENRAGED DOG. Thankfully, we have the man to show you how it's done. Ain't no woof woof over here, kid.

Your Jeans have spoken and confirmed what HALF of US already knew - Tommy is pretty close to being the MAIN MOMMY via the Biggie vs Bowie vs Beatles debate. 

But then again Tina hasn't stopped making brown for the last few days, so does the MAIN MOMMY CROWN belong on her???

We have more awful songs and examine a Tyler Perry, uh, movie - is that what they're called? It also has a song that could run alongside Summertime and Social. It's BAD meaning BAD. 

 

Direct download: YMH_228.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:23am EST

DON'T RECORD ME, SON! Stay up, Staten Island. And yo, I heard your girl been giving that stuff out to all dem guys, yo!

Who would you rather have playing at your birthday party a leather boy or a B Boy? You're picking sides here, dawg. Tina is eating a lot of veggies and her toots are sending a clear message. Will she respond appropriately??? 

If you report the news, report it! Say the thing that the guy said. We're adults. We can handle it, jeans. 

There are songs galore here and an ALL NEW FILL HER UP that will have you seriously deliberating who to seal shut! Aren't you glad that SUMMERTIME IS HERE. It's the best, right?

 

Direct download: YMH_227.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:19am EST

Jason Nash Is Married. This is not only a factual statement, but also the name of a new movie written by, directed by and starring our very special guest, Jason Nash. Tina Jeans became good buds with Nash over the last month as they both filmed the top secret show that you now know about. We love Jason for a lot of reasons, but his honesty about marraige and parenthood might top it all. If his movie is anything like this conversation we cannot wait to see it! 

Plus don't look at, approach, pet, whistle towards or think of another persons dog and a HUGE Dental Update from Tina's bestie, amazing audio and more! 

Direct download: YMH_226.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:36am EST

Somewhere on some street that goes by the name Marquette, the dumbest person alive is walking around recording himself on his phone so that we may document stupidity in all its glory. 

This episode is packed, but here's what you need to know: Top Dog AND OMG Maria BOTH have calls. Enjoy!

Direct download: YMH_225.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:10am EST

Sometimes when someone screams to F**K someone Right in their P***y they are not who they seem! REJOICE, Tina is back in the Mommy Dome and her jeans are tighter than ever. Will she reveal secrets of her shoot? I don't know. Maybe. 

When a LADY gets a massage do Pro men go for the gold and give her that happy ending? Let's discuss. Chuck Woolery is doing A LOT of commercials. A LOT. And they're all for old people that are falling apart. What do they each pay? 11 dollars.

Tommy and Tina discuss how many more marriages they'll go thru. More than 3? That seems like too many. Maybe we should just sign a good ol' C*m dog up to hang out around the house. Sean Connery approves! 

If you never saw the House of Cosby's do yourself a favor and watch them, Rudy. They are AMAZING, Theo. Eat the pudding slice!

Direct download: YMH_224.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:29am EST

YOOOOOOOOOOOshi! Oh my goodness. He's back - the most downloaded man in YMH history was the step mom in Seattle when Tina couldn't make it. Sadly, the audio isn't great. BLUEBAN'S fault. But it's still worth a listen - why? Well, it's Yoshi. There's no description that does it justice. He covers all his hits: AIDS, assault, murder, kidnapping, racism and more! You ain't ready.

Direct download: YMH_Seattle_YOSHI.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:16am EST

Let's keep getting social! What if SWV covered that song? Or what if all their songs were about Jeans? It's all possible with your MOMS. If you have your stomach stapled or some of it is just taken away be careful when you pass wind because everything might just fall out of you. Tina gives you her secret formula to hotel coffee that is POWERFUL. It's White Lightning that leads to Brown Thunder.

The four major food groups are steak, shrimp, chicken and ribs. We help you understand how much of each is important for your diet. Magic Johnson has those AIDS in case you didn't know. Also, Al Sharpton versus words is fantastic. Wear those jeans, gurl. 

Direct download: YMH_222.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:14am EST

Live from Denver with Chuck Roy!

Direct download: YMH_DENVER_LIVE.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:02am EST

Derivatives are, you know what I'm sayin, like important when you, know what I'm sayin, doin calculus. Word. Dudes should not masturbate on the bus with other people around when those people have camera phones cause you get recorded and then you get arrested (plus it's rude). The exception would be if you had a nice cheese with you and then you can get romantic. You know what's better than a girl fight? Shovel fight! Yeahhhhh! Plus Bad Acting and more. Bang! Bang!

Direct download: YMH_220.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:10am EST

Oh the mommies are worldwide, yo! Even though Tina Jeans couldn't make it to Canada (Manada) Tommy Bunz still went up there and did what a single mom has to do. He found a man to help him out. The great Toby Hargrave sat in as a step mom and he was amazing! Toby and Tommy break down a crazy park landscaper, religious upbringings, parenting, heckling, Fill Her Ups, Would You Rathers and so much more. This ep really is the Moose's (Because Canada) T**s!

Direct download: YMH_219.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:56am EST

Come on, guys! Say it with me! Working for my company is fun!!! Lets sell market stuff and sell it and also ship it, yeahhhh! Jobs should be exciting and so should telling the world about it. Lets get social - Social. We feel for you if your coporation or boss is one of these wind bags who tries to dress up work like it's fun. Or worse, when they think you're stupid enough to buy into making profit for THEM as something YOU love to do. Some of this coporate talk made our jeans hang very loose. Just remember that your job doesn't define you, little mommy. Pastor Manning is back with way more CRAZINESS. Just a heads up - he's not a fan of our Prez. Praise the Lord, Ya'll!

Direct download: YMH_218_E.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:38am EST

Stimulate our minds, Jeans! The Ice House is always bumpin when 2 Mommies wearing denim decide to sit down for some greezy time. A great crowd filled the room while many more watched it streaming online. This live show has amazing audio, mommy confessions, intimate talk, Fill Her Up and so much more! We just opened a new denim processing factory because of this episode! 

Direct download: YMH_217.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:46am EST

Well a very heavy bertation tonight. We had a very derison bite. Lets go ahead terrison to the bit in the hit a bit. Make sense? Good. Ladies, watch out, it could happen to you (fingers crossed!). Theo has been going on SOLO adventures. We finally catch up to what he's been doing - he was not very forthcoming, for the record. Plus a touching Easter story from Tina and she REkindles the flame that is her passion for UB40. Can Tom decode what some black guy is saying? Did The Ultimate Warrior know where the Dudes were at?? We may be able to confirm that. Keep It Greezy!

Direct download: YMH_216_E.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:46am EST

Wait, White what? Ohhhhh. This gets pretty advanced pretty quickly. Some people can't sing, some people aren't retarded. But some people are an interesting mix up of both. We break it down for you. You might be surprised when we listen to the greatest song of our generation and strip it down to it's suspiciously "special" voice. Are all children actually retard(ed) sounding? A "Bad Girl" asks if you know what she's saying, but she has a special twist! Plus a hockey player throws hit hat in the ring as he drops a mountain of "You Know's" in an interview. Wear HEADPHONES for this one!

Direct download: YMH_215.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:21am EST

Get out of that Country A** nonsense, pull up your denim and get ready for the get down. We got a hot new anthem for REAL MOMMIES ONLY. Plus, Tommy ran into Joey "Try Eating This and Living" Diaz on a flight and, yeah, meltdown came soon after. Real husbands say, "Show me how those big T**s fart" to their wives and maybe now, you will too? Pastor Manning is completely insane and we have the audio to prove it. REAL TALK is back and we are ready to ROAST the Duggars wildly selfish lifestyle. This episode is offensive. 

Direct download: YMH_214.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:48am EST

You know you're in good company when the WHITE HOUSE is listening to your show. We have pretty compelling evidence that suggests that President Obama listens to the show and keeps up with the YMH lingo. Maybe he'll be on the show soon? Hope so. If you and your boys are planning on getting together for a fun night of bro'ing down you should get a Naughty Boy and take that party to the next level! It's been a minute, but TOP DOG is back and he's got one of his "great ideas." Plus, you guessed it, he has a dump story. As if that didn't make you shart your shorts, there's MORE! OMG Maria is on this ep! She tells the uh, "story" of her latest car accident and names a new leader when it comes to foreigners who's language skills/attitudes upset her. You're not ready! 

Direct download: YMH_213.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:14am EST

WHAT WRONG WITH YOU? said the most awesome pastor ever. I'll let him finish his sentence. Have you seen that show, Masturbate Theater? It's pretty good and we have a clip. Mr. Selfridge has a very interesting French character who encourages a nice young English lady to meet his anus. What's up with Pro Wrestling, for real? When do you stop liking it? Do you wear Superman pajamas? Good. This ep has a BIG TIME Dental Update from TINA and a poop story for the ages from one of YOU!! LADIES, trim your tootsie nails - they're not supposed to hang over the edge. We discuss in a new NAILS segment. And, you guessed it, there's more sayin of You Know What I'm Sayin - You know what we're sayin? 

Direct download: YMH_212.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:03am EST

No need for a big description here - it's LIVE from San Francisco (Man Frandisco). Put on your old denim panties and enjoy this one (it's full of treats)! J-J-J-JEANS UNIT

Direct download: YMH_211_SF_LIVE.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:53am EST

Ain't nothin in life free. P***y would be at the top of that list, especially for an ex-pat roided out Aussie pimp handling his Thai ho's. Make sense? Dude has some good points and a LOT of job stoppers (you'll soon understand). A man violated the safety and sanctity of our neighborhood in front of Tina and inTO a Yoplait (possible future sponsor?). We go to the Forensic Files to see if we can solve the case! Do families that masturbate together just, basically, get along the best? We just don't know. Tina left behind a life in the KGB to come to the US of A and today is the anniversary. Will she be allowed to stay? Obama decides! Wiping with a MAN'S wipe is new for Lady Jeans. We can't wait for her review. Most IMPORTANTLY we break down the new and accepted criteria for crowning the You Know What I'm Sayin Champion and it's a real GAME CHANGER. It's spring time, get that seasonal denim out! 

Direct download: YMH_210.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:43am EST

It never gets old. No matter how much time passes by, joy is always spread when someone drops a Deez Nuts joke. And if you get it on TV? Well, we collectively thank you, sir. New music from you, the little jeans, is welcomed and celebrated! It's time to post a challenge! Does a pimp or a rapper say You Know What Im Sayin more? Get out your pen and paper cause you've got some countin' to do! (You know what I'm sayin?) But everything takes a back seat to the Queen of this episode. Internet sensation, vocal inspiration and servant of our Lord, Aunty FeeFee joins us! She is as sweet, engaging and fun as you knew she would be. Does she bless our show with a special tune? Put your earbuds in and let us pleasure you ears. WE WEAR DENIM ONLY AROUND HERE!

Direct download: YMH_209.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:02am EST

FART. That's one of many different noises you will hear on this episode. We really cover all the bases, YKWIS? Yes, there's a new champ in the You Know What I'm Sayin circle and it is GLORIOUS! Tina and Tommy both have Brown issues - You've been warned. Is or isn't the man we both see homeless? The Jeans are DIVIDED. Plus Jerry Lewis is still obnoxious and we have a first hand account from comedian and writer Megan Beth Koester (@bornferal). It's ridiculous and hilarious. Pull your pants up. BIKES!!!!

Direct download: YMH_208.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:15am EST

Where Brooklyn at? In your ear drums. Rest In Peace, ODB. We pay respect to the GODS on this one. There's nothing quite like a LIVE Mom in front of other Mom's, knawmean? This is all the goodness of YMH wrapped into one Live Denim sandwich - we got crazy audio, WYR, Top Dog and more! Peace to Big Daddy Kane.

Direct download: YMH_207.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:16am EST

Ari Shaffir AKA Airey Schaeffer is in the building. Sure he put some loose change we had lying around in his pocket, but we still enjoyed his company. Did you ever hear the joke that if we want to win a war we should just send gangbangers to fight them because they love shooting people anyway? Yeah, that's happening. Some OG Sorenos from the 818 are droppin dimes on fools in Syria and the audio is amazing. We have a MAJOR Dental Update - Tina had something SERIOUS done, jeans. Hear the wrath of Ari towards TSA and celebrate Tommy's new special and album. You know what we're sayin? Plus Ari's brown talk will have you cringing, possibly crying and certainly mailing him fiber bars. 

Direct download: YMH_206.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 2:30am EST

Are you thirsty? I bet after you hear this one you'll want nothing more than a big gulp from a nice German man's tough nips. We love you so much that we took what was to be the next BONUS episode and we gave it to you, the little Mommy. This show was the Dog's T**S and there are sex secrets revealed. What more could you want? Pull those jeans up. A little higher, please? 

Direct download: YMH_205.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:03am EST

Who is the Main Mommy to you? For many, it's our disabled son, Redban. Luckily for you, he's in the Mommy Dome again and he's grosser than ever. It's always nice to have your kid come home from college and for this hour we wonder if he's ever going to class anymore. We cover life, teeth, Sharkeisha, paranoia and a whole lot more. Does Redban have a secret brother??? Maybe. Does a girl who sells you her dirty panties excite Brian? We think so. Does he tells us the grossest thing ever and nearly causes the show to stop? Yes. Classic Mom on this one. 

Direct download: YMH_204.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:17am EST

You ain't even wash it???? You NASTY!!! Do ya thang, gurl! If I beat yo a** in a fight, then I do what I want when I win, ya dig? Do you know your weight class? Figure it out, farty weight! 

Tommy had to go potty bad and it almost came out in the car! Tina laughed and that's not nice. Do you think that Robin Wright makes possible suitors sniff her snuff spot? Tommy thinks so. House of Cards (Farts) is the Dogs T**s! Talk smack when you get in a fight, but don't lose focus or your breath. 

YMH introduces the world to A LOT of things, Knaw Mean? And HONESTLY, we've done it again. Mommy emails are read that deal with playing with the fart pitch and more! Pull those Jeans a little higher, won't you?

Direct download: YMH_203.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 3:16am EST

Yes and no. We both do and do not know what you're saying in this, the ultimate You Know What I'm Sayin sound off. We provide insight into every race and culture's attempt to say what they're saying. Do you know what each of them mean? Perhaps Tom should add to his "Black vault" of voices as he nails the homeless, nude gay man getting penetrated in the streets. Don't disrespect judges, know what we're all sayin? Lots of music in this one plus some choice Would You Rather's. Give your mother a hug! J-J-J-Jeans Unit!

Direct download: YMH_202.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:00am EST

When you find something you love to do in life, don't settle for anything but being the best. Even if that thing is taking it in every hole all day until your insides fall out of you. That's what Ava Devine has done and we have the audio to prove it. Plus Theo gets on the mic after a little hiatus and he is pretty fired up. Everyone has fun when they fart. Everyone plays with their butt cheeks to throw the pitch of their farts. Well, everyone EXCEPT Tina. Tina claims she does NOT do this and the mommies get to the bottom of the truth. REAL TALK is back with something beyond comprehension - eating ones own mattress. Oh boy, you better buckle your belt (that you wear to support your jeans). 

 

Direct download: YMH_201.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 1:10am EST

Holla if you down, but you wear your jeans up! 200, ya'll. We kickin it strong and we owe it to you, the little Mommy. We celebrate with great new audio of someone we think might be related to Tom - after all it's man in Cincy and he tells your "right" where to put it. So many mommy tunes, so little time. We honor your musical talents by playing some of the songs that got away and they are AMAZING, you know what I'm sayin? Oh my, oh my, is there a new contestant throwing his hat into the ring of most impressive mentions of Know What I'm Sayin. Well, do you? Mommy shout outs and more! PLEASURE!

Direct download: YMH_200.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 12:10am EST