Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura
Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura are comedians who are also married. They are the Mommies and they welcome you to join them. Dental updates! Dudes! Stories! Wiping!

If you're a lady and you're having trouble getting pregnant or perhaps you want some more excitement in bed, there has been a new development that is changing lives - LEECHES. You just need to shove them up inside of you. 

Plus, aren't nail clippers incredible? This one dude thinks so and we happen to agree.

We'd love to put the personality argument to rest, but both moms are still bickering. Isn't it obvious???

Plus, there's some big Chef John fans writing in and defending his UP-speak AND we have Would You Rather, Fill Her Up and MORE.

There isn't enough denim in this world to match up with this episode. 

Direct download: YMH_393.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

Not everyone can read the future by touching their worn panties, but this is Your Mom's House and we found someone that can. 

Plus, never before heard audio of your two favorite mom's making love. Is this real? 

We have Master Of Accents, a man throwing up that REALLY upsets Tina and Top Dog and Charo on the phone. Is there anything boring in this episode? Yup, we got some of that for you too. 

JEAN forever. 

Direct download: YMH_392.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

Mummy, here's the truth - we have sick jeans this week. Both of us. Please bear with us as we compete for the immunity championship. 

We welcome all our witches and wiccans to approach this episode with caution as we delve into a dangerous spell. 

Plus, who's the real elitist? Tommy has a pretty strong argument for Tina being a closet snob. What do you think?

AND our cars both have smelly AC's - what's the deal? Is it a dead animal? Maybe F-A-R-T?

And we honor the great athlete, Nelson Mandela. 

 

Direct download: ymh_391.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 10:36pm EDT

Are there any Jean's in the house? How about uncircumcised ones? Well, this is the episode for you. We have a very helpful man that teaches you how to clean it (it involves a wash cloth). Speaking of wash clothes, those are for poor people, right? 

T Bunz ran into Kane a few weeks ago at the airport - do you think he yelled his infamous call in public? You'll just have to listen, Jean. 

Plus, Tommy once saw an older lady touching her stuff in public at a bar and Jean thinks it's a questionable story. How about 'chu?

Can a man have dinner with a lady that's not his wife without wanting to fill her up? 

We really hope you have the STANIMA for this episode. 

Direct download: YMH_390.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:15pm EDT

There's a crazy fat kid running North Korea and nobody is going to debate that fact. 

Do you know all the U.S. Presidents? We certainly do not. There's a JV squad and we go thru it. 

When first class disappoints you, what do you do? We complain, bitterly. 

Plus, Jean has a very important dental update (cause she's a show off).  And a LIVE F-A-R-T was captured on the show and it should settle the Fart Champ debate once and for all. 

Direct download: YMH_389.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:00pm EDT

Some people are just gross and then there's THIS lady. Whoa. And coming from us that's pretty special. She puts her finger, well, just listen. 

Plus, if you had to say one of us is a better burper who would you choose, Gene or Jean? 

There are some epic Dad Boners in this one and an absolute gift of a Hey Mommy order. And thankfully there's a nasal alien that breaks that down for us too. 

Direct download: YMH_388.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:00pm EDT

Dearest Jean, 

This is a great podcast. Today we recap our lunch with Dan Pena and Tom's ill-fitting suit. Plus, Jean got an iWatch and boy does she love it (more than she loves Tom). 

Some French guy wants to teach you about loving your lingam and the mommies saw Get Out - go see it!

How often do you run into massage therapists that are also smokers? I guess Tom's just lucky. 

All of that, plus vocal fry, dental updates and more!

Direct download: YMH_387.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:00pm EDT

When you're on a plane and you're bleeding from your tumors you just need people to MOVE.

Jean and Tom break down their one night getaway and how Tom's browns have changed for the better since he cut sugar (mostly). 

Plus Tina gets grossed out by a gagging video and we have some new really boring stuff to play for you. 

Some fashion is absurd and we gladly make fun of it. How do some guys tolerate ball kicks? Are you one of those guys? could you drop us a line? 

We are more than honored that the President spoke our name. Please enjoy these fresh pressed jeans. 

Direct download: YMH_386.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

Live from the Irvine Improv with 500 mommies in the stands. Let er rip!

Direct download: Bonus_LIVE_IRVINE_.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

How much sausage do you need to feed your whole family? What if there are some big women in it? Probably more, right? Would you leave an angry voicemail about it? 

 

This episode has Gucci Mane, bloody yoga pants, boring videos and the SECRET to a Double Pipe Classic? WHAT?!?! yeah. Listen. 

Direct download: YMH_385.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

If you haven't ever seen a whale penis, you don't size and you don't know Penis. 

Tommy hung out with Top Dog and Charo this weekend and he has tales to tell. 

Plus Gene had a dream that Tommy was bad and now she's mad at him in real life. Does this nonsense happen in your life as well? 

Tina's phone got a new text. Anyone interested in DRUGS?!?! 

AND, more boring videos, Hey Mommy and much more!

Direct download: YMH_384.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

When someone goes on strike you know they mean business. This lady is going on strike for something so important we can't actually spell out what it is (It's Gross and comes out of a man's penis). 

We step in to Studio G with Super Dad Nerd, G. 

We wear our awesome new Pup Masks as we are always heightening our sense of smell. 

Plus absolutely AMAZE music from so many of you. We're putting Bitsy on a diet and SO much more. 

Thanks, Jeans. 

Direct download: YMH_383.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

As perhaps the leading non-binary couple in the podcast comedy world today we are thrilled to bring you this aspect of the wonder from the perspective of our obtuse reality. Hope that was clear. 

Sometimes when you are making a brown someone will crawl under the stall to see if you are indeed browning. What would you do in that situation? 

The Mommies saw another horrible movie. Hope you get to have a night ruined by it as well. 

Plus another guy had vocal fry and it wasn't even the worst part of his personality. He also liked to....kill and eat people. Can you guess who?

This episode is full of such a good time we HAD to find some boring audio to dull it down. Hope it's boring enough for you. 

Direct download: YMH_382.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

Have you ever tried to get a hearing impaired person to lick your stuff but you weren't sure how to do it? We have answers. 

Plus we're pretty sure we found our sons little league coach. Hope he's still around when Little Jeans is ready to play. This guy emphasizes that losing sucks and no one wants to be one. 

Tina and Tommy both break down what they individually hate and what they hate as a couple (acoustic?). 

Hi Mommy...Thanks Jeans rages on and much more!

Direct download: YMH_381_V2.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

Don't hit me, Mummy! Don't hurt me, mummy! This week Tommy recaps his big celebration trip with Burnt and both pairs of Jeans have a Dental Update. Who do you think has the more perfect smile?
Jack Reach Around Two is reviewed. Spoiler Alert: It's a pile of garbage.
More emails and more orders of Hey, Mommy....Thanks, Jeans!

Direct download: YMH_380.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

Finally! Someone is talking about the real issues - how do you mop up all that stuff after you make kisses? A nice British lady is going to show us the way (it's the Shower).

Plus - you weigh in on the Personality Battle. Hey, some of you are a little TOO honest. Thanks.

We meet a lady who wants to live with no environmental impact. That includes REUSING toilet paper. NEAT.

And Hey, Mommy...Thanks, Jeans rolls on.

 

Direct download: YMH_379.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

The McAfee Virus guy isn't just a genius when it comes to protecting your PC. He also has discovered that hammocks are great for lounging on and pooping off of. Just listen to this parade of women tell you about it. 

Plus, you've picked sides when it comes to #Water, #Posture and #fitness. Now the two jeans break down who has a better #personality. Which side are YOU on?!

We have a new most boring video ever. Is it real? Doubtful. More dad accents, Horrible or Hilarious and some Hall Of Fame level ordering of "Hi, Mommy...Thanks, Jeans!"

Direct download: YMH_378.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT

Reach into your pants, hold on to your twig and berries and take a DEEP SNIFF.

That's how you train to be a good pup. Good boy. 

 

Tommy is deep in his weight loss competition with Burnt. These last 24 hours are rough!

We revisit with Orlando Brown who has new ways to describe his sexual exploits. 

Plus, what YMH word does Tina add to her coffee order? Are you ready to step up your "Hi Mommy, Thanks Jeans" Game? 

It's all here. 

Direct download: YMH_377.mp3
Category:comedy -- posted at: 11:30pm EDT